Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 5
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
February 23rd, 2008
Tina Fey
Carrie Underwood
None
Amber Lee Ettinger
Steve Martin
Gov. Mike Huckabee
Don Pardo
Simon Rich
CNN Univision Democratic DebateSummary: News anchors fawn over hopeful Democratic nominee Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) while barely paying attention a delusional Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler).
Recurring Characters: Hillary Clinton.
Bio: Amber Lee Ettinger (1983-). Actress, model; appears as “Obama Girl” in a series of Internet videos, most notably “I Got a Crush… on Obama”.
Transcript
MontageNote: Maya Rudolph does not appear in this episode.
Note: Casey Wilson joins the show as a featured performer.
Tina Fey’s MonologueSummary: Tina Fey is excited to be hosting the first show following the Writer’s Guild strike, but former TV scribe-turned-actor Steve Martin jumps onstage to offer tips on making the transition to actress.
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annualeSummary: New women’s hygeine product makes it possible for women to endure their period just once a year, albeit with dangerous side effects the remainder of the year.
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Rock of Love 2Summary: One-legged Amber (Amy Poehler) vies for Bret Michaels’ (Jason Sudeikis) on his reality dating program.
Recurring Characters: Amber.
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An SNL Digital ShortSummary: As “A Message to Old People”, an elderly man demonstrates how he is able to place his grandsons (Bill Hader, Andy Samberg) in popular movies as a treat for their grandma.
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What’s That Bitch Talking About?Summary: Male (Bill Hader) and female (Tina Fey) game show contestants must decipher cryptic phone messages spoken by various models.
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Carrie Underwood performs “All-American Girl”Also Performed: 06p.
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Despite the mathematical impossibility, Gov. Mike Huckabee still thinks he has a chance to beat Sen. John McCain for the Republican Party nomination. Making a return to the desk to discuss “Women’s News”, Tina Fey insists that Hillary Clinton is the best candidate for the Democratic Party nomination.
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NBCSummary: A series of promos for NBC’s exhaustive “Celebrity Apprentice” incarnations in Thursday’s prime-time line-up.
Recurring Characters: Donald Trump, Ted Allen, Mary Jo Buttafuaco, John Mark Karr, Charles Barkley, Jennifer Tilly, Gene Simmons, Lance Ito.
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Ed’s ToastSummary: A drunken Ed Mahoney (Jason Sudeikis) makes an ass of himself while toasting the groom (Will Forte) at a wedding reception.
Recurring Characters: Ed Mahoney.
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Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon RidesSummary: Trying not to rub it in anyone’s face, Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) advertises rides on her hot air balloon.
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I Drink Your MilkshakeSummary: The Oscar-nominated film “There Will Be Blood” becomes a Food Network spin-off, as Daniel Plainview (Bill Hader) and his son H.W. (Amy Poehler) wander through a malt shop drinking other patrons’ milkshakes.
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Carrie Underwood performs “Flat On The Floor”
Lady BusinessSummary: NBC unveils yet another “Sex and the City” copycat drama featuring an all-women cast.
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GoodnightsTranscript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Funeral ArrangementsSummary: Patriarch (Fred Armisen) discusses burial options with his family, which results in a series of financial arguments.
Family DinnerSummary: When a man (Will Forte) brings his girlfriend (Tina Fey) home for dinner, he worries that his sloppy brother (Andy Samberg) will sleep with her behind his back.
Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides IISummary: Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) flirts with herself while riding in her hot air balloon.
Cruise ShipSummary: Two guys (Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis) meet a pair of girls (Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig) from Philadelphia while on a cruise ship.
