
Saturday Night Live Transcripts

|

Season 33: Episode 5

|








|
|

Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:







Bit Players:

|
February 23rd, 2008

Tina Fey

Carrie Underwood

None

Amber Lee Ettinger

Steve Martin

Gov. Mike Huckabee

Don Pardo

Simon Rich
|
|
CNN Univision Democratic Debate
|
Summary: News anchors fawn over hopeful Democratic nominee Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) while barely paying attention a delusional Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler).

Recurring Characters: Hillary Clinton.

Bio: Amber Lee Ettinger (1983-). Actress, model; appears as "Obama Girl" in a series of Internet videos, most notably "I Got a Crush... on Obama".

Transcript
|
|
Montage
|
Note: Maya Rudolph does not appear in this episode.

Note: Casey Wilson joins the show as a featured performer.
|
|
Tina Fey's Monologue
|
Summary: Tina Fey is excited to be hosting the first show following the Writer's Guild strike, but former TV scribe-turned-actor Steve Martin jumps onstage to offer tips on making the transition to actress.

Transcript
|
|
annuale
|
Summary: New women's hygeine product makes it possible for women to endure their period just once a year, albeit with dangerous side effects the remainder of the year.

Transcript
|
|
Rock of Love 2
|
Summary: One-legged Amber (Amy Poehler) vies for Bret Michaels' (Jason Sudeikis) on his reality dating program.

Recurring Characters: Amber.

Transcript
|
|
An SNL Digital Short
|
Summary: As "A Message to Old People", an elderly man demonstrates how he is able to place his grandsons (Bill Hader, Andy Samberg) in popular movies as a treat for their grandma.

Transcript
|
|
What's That Bitch Talking About?
|
Summary: Male (Bill Hader) and female (Tina Fey) game show contestants must decipher cryptic phone messages spoken by various models.

Transcript
|
|
Carrie Underwood performs "All-American Girl"
|
|
Also Performed: 06p.
|
|
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
|
Summary: Despite the mathematical impossibility, Gov. Mike Huckabee still thinks he has a chance to beat Sen. John McCain for the Republican Party nomination. Making a return to the desk to discuss "Women's News", Tina Fey insists that Hillary Clinton is the best candidate for the Democratic Party nomination.

Transcript
|
|
NBC
|
Summary: A series of promos for NBC's exhaustive "Celebrity Apprentice" incarnations in Thursday's prime-time line-up.

Recurring Characters: Donald Trump, Ted Allen, Mary Jo Buttafuaco, John Mark Karr, Charles Barkley, Jennifer Tilly, Gene Simmons, Lance Ito.

Transcript
|
|
Ed's Toast
|
Summary: A drunken Ed Mahoney (Jason Sudeikis) makes an ass of himself while toasting the groom (Will Forte) at a wedding reception.

Recurring Characters: Ed Mahoney.

Transcript
|
|
Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides
|
Summary: Trying not to rub it in anyone's face, Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) advertises rides on her hot air balloon.

Transcript
|
|
I Drink Your Milkshake
|
Summary: The Oscar-nominated film "There Will Be Blood" becomes a Food Network spin-off, as Daniel Plainview (Bill Hader) and his son H.W. (Amy Poehler) wander through a malt shop drinking other patrons' milkshakes.

Transcript
|
|
Carrie Underwood performs "Flat On The Floor"
|
|
|
|
Lady Business
|
Summary: NBC unveils yet another "Sex and the City" copycat drama featuring an all-women cast.

Transcript
|
Dress Rehearsal Cuts

|
Funeral Arrangements
|
|
Summary: Patriarch (Fred Armisen) discusses burial options with his family, which results in a series of financial arguments.
|
|
Family Dinner
|
|
Summary: When a man (Will Forte) brings his girlfriend (Tina Fey) home for dinner, he worries that his sloppy brother (Andy Samberg) will sleep with her behind his back.
|
|
Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides II
|
|
Summary: Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) flirts with herself while riding in her hot air balloon.
|
|
Cruise Ship
|
|
Summary: Two guys (Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis) meet a pair of girls (Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig) from Philadelphia while on a cruise ship.
|
SNL Transcripts
|
|
|
|
|
|