Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 33: Episode 5


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:







Bit Players:


February 23rd, 2008

Tina Fey

Carrie Underwood

None

Amber Lee Ettinger

Steve Martin

Gov. Mike Huckabee

Don Pardo

Simon Rich

CNN Univision Democratic Debate
Summary: News anchors fawn over hopeful Democratic nominee Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) while barely paying attention a delusional Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler).

Recurring Characters: Hillary Clinton.

Bio: Amber Lee Ettinger (1983-). Actress, model; appears as "Obama Girl" in a series of Internet videos, most notably "I Got a Crush... on Obama".

Transcript


Montage
Note: Maya Rudolph does not appear in this episode.

Note: Casey Wilson joins the show as a featured performer.


Tina Fey's Monologue
Summary: Tina Fey is excited to be hosting the first show following the Writer's Guild strike, but former TV scribe-turned-actor Steve Martin jumps onstage to offer tips on making the transition to actress.

Transcript


annuale
Summary: New women's hygeine product makes it possible for women to endure their period just once a year, albeit with dangerous side effects the remainder of the year.

Transcript


Rock of Love 2
Summary: One-legged Amber (Amy Poehler) vies for Bret Michaels' (Jason Sudeikis) on his reality dating program.

Recurring Characters: Amber.

Transcript


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: As "A Message to Old People", an elderly man demonstrates how he is able to place his grandsons (Bill Hader, Andy Samberg) in popular movies as a treat for their grandma.

Transcript


What's That Bitch Talking About?
Summary: Male (Bill Hader) and female (Tina Fey) game show contestants must decipher cryptic phone messages spoken by various models.

Transcript


Carrie Underwood performs "All-American Girl"
Also Performed: 06p.


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: Despite the mathematical impossibility, Gov. Mike Huckabee still thinks he has a chance to beat Sen. John McCain for the Republican Party nomination. Making a return to the desk to discuss "Women's News", Tina Fey insists that Hillary Clinton is the best candidate for the Democratic Party nomination.

Transcript


NBC
Summary: A series of promos for NBC's exhaustive "Celebrity Apprentice" incarnations in Thursday's prime-time line-up.

Recurring Characters: Donald Trump, Ted Allen, Mary Jo Buttafuaco, John Mark Karr, Charles Barkley, Jennifer Tilly, Gene Simmons, Lance Ito.

Transcript


Ed's Toast
Summary: A drunken Ed Mahoney (Jason Sudeikis) makes an ass of himself while toasting the groom (Will Forte) at a wedding reception.

Recurring Characters: Ed Mahoney.

Transcript


Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides
Summary: Trying not to rub it in anyone's face, Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) advertises rides on her hot air balloon.

Transcript


I Drink Your Milkshake
Summary: The Oscar-nominated film "There Will Be Blood" becomes a Food Network spin-off, as Daniel Plainview (Bill Hader) and his son H.W. (Amy Poehler) wander through a malt shop drinking other patrons' milkshakes.

Transcript


Carrie Underwood performs "Flat On The Floor"


Lady Business
Summary: NBC unveils yet another "Sex and the City" copycat drama featuring an all-women cast.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Funeral Arrangements
Summary: Patriarch (Fred Armisen) discusses burial options with his family, which results in a series of financial arguments.


Family Dinner
Summary: When a man (Will Forte) brings his girlfriend (Tina Fey) home for dinner, he worries that his sloppy brother (Andy Samberg) will sleep with her behind his back.


Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides II
Summary: Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) flirts with herself while riding in her hot air balloon.


Cruise Ship
Summary: Two guys (Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis) meet a pair of girls (Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig) from Philadelphia while on a cruise ship.



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