Tom Bergeron… Beck Bennett
Cammi… Aidy Bryant
Robert… Chris Redd
Baby Spice… Anya Taylor-Joy
Bill Cosby… Kenan Thompson
Jeff Dunham… Mikey Day
Mary-Kate… Chloe Fineman
Ashley Olsen… Heidi Gardner
Jared Fogle… Andrew Dismukes
Female voice: GSN Retro Night continues at nine with 1971 episode of ‘Name That Tune’ followed by a 1953 episode of ‘Guess Her Weight’. But up next, a 1998 episode of Hollywood Squares.
Tom Bergeron: I’m Tom Bergeron. Welcome to Hollywood Squares. Our contestants today are Cami and Robert. [cheers and applause] And let’s say hello to our Hollywood celebrities.
The game is simple. It’s Tic-tac-toe. Three in a row wins. Robert, you won the coin toss back stage. Pick a square.
Robert: I don’t like her music but I like the way she looks. Let’s go with Baby Spice.
Baby Spice: Yeah! Girl power, baby!
Tom Bergeron: Alright, Baby Spice, according to a recent survey of American students, what’s the least popular school subject.
Baby Spice: What school? I’m just a little baby. Kidding. Let’s say maths.
Robert: I’ll agree.
Tom Bergeron: Wise choice. It’s math. X gets the square. Cammy, pick a square.
Cammi: Okay, well, this is an easy one. Who doesn’t love this man? I am going with the center square America’s Dad, Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby: Look at me. I’m in the square.
Male voice: In light of recent revelations concerning Bill Cosby, King World Productions has chosen to omit him from this rebroadcast. We rejoing the show after Mr. Cosby’s segment.
Tom Bergeron: Holy smokes. No one’s better than Bill Cosby. Best of all time. Okay, Cammi, Bill Cosby said Lacrosse is America’s oldest sport. Agree or disagree?
Cammi: One thing’s for sure, I trust Bill Cosby. Agree!
Tom Bergeron: Good instinct. Circle gets the square.
Baby Spice: Sorry, Tommy, can I just say to Mr. Cosby that I am such a huge fan and I admire you so–
Male voice: At the personal request of Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton, her comments have been omitted from this rebroadcast.
Tom Bergeron: Wow, those were very kind words. Okay, Robert, pick a square.
Robert: Let’s go with Ventriloquist. Jeff Dunham and Jose Jalapeno.
Jeff Dunham: Hey, we’re thrilled to be here. Say hello, Jose.
Male voice: Due to evolving societal standards on race, Kind World Productions has omitted all footage of Mr. Dunham providing voices for puppets of different ethnicities, including: Jose the Jalapeno, De’Shawn the piece of cornbread and Tan Yan the horniest man in Japan. We’ll resume the game after Mr. Dunham’s material.
Tom Bergeron: And X gets the square. Those were some funny puppets.
Robert: I didn’t love the voice Jeff did for DeShawn the cornbread.
Jeff Dunham: Hey, don’t look at me. That was him.
Robert: Nah, it was you.
Tom Bergeron: Cammi?
Cammi: Well, I love them on Full House. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen: You got it, dude.
Tom Bergeron: Mary Kate and Ashley’s latest directed video movie ‘Oops we recently flew to Paris’ is in stores now. Anyone seen it? I see Mr. Skinny himself, Jared Fogle is nodding.
Jared Fogle: I loved the movie so good.
Tom Bergeron: Did you bring the pants, Jared?
Jared Fogle: Oh, yeah. Can you believe I used to wear these? You could fit both Olsen twins in here.
Male voice: In light of Jared Fogle’s crimes, the decision to place his square right next to the Olsen’s is unfortunate and therefore both squared have been omitted from this rebroadcast.
Tom Bergeron: Alright. Circle gets the square.
Baby Spice: Sorry, can I just say what jared Fogle has done is incredible. And I’d like to give him a round of applause. Really–
Male voice: Representatives for Emma ‘Baby Spice’ Bunton want to be clear that she was applauding Mr. Fogle’s weight loss and not his heinous crimes.
Tom Bergeron: Just a reminder, our secret square is still unclaimed. Let’s tell the folks at home which star can nab you some bonus cash.
Female voice: The secret square is Matt Lauer.
Male voice: Who has been omitted from this broadcast.
Tom Bergeron: Okay, Robert, you pick.
Robert: I take Kevin Spacey.
Male voice: Due to the problematic nature of most of our squares, the remainder of this episode has been omitted from the re-broadcast.
Tom Bergeron: Well, congrats to our winner, Cammy, who’s taking home a Subaru Outback. Say goodbye, Squares.