Miley Cyrus
Rachel Dolezal… Venessa Bayer
Dentist… Taran Killam
Kim Davis… Aidy Bryant
Twerp… Kate McKinnon
Pizza rat… Kenan Thompson
Meek Mill… Michael Che
Drake appear… Jay Pharoah
[Starts with SNL monologue intro.]
[band is playing music one the stage]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Miley Cyrus.
[Miley Cyrus walks in and to the stage. She is wearing a dress with many colorful flowers on it.]
[cheers and applause]
Miley Cyrus: Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you very much. It is so great to be here hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. I love hosting this show because it’s live. So, my parents know where I am for at least 90 minutes. And although tonight, I am on a seven second delay, not a television delay, it’s just when you smoke as much as I do, you’re always on a seven second delay. And, while I’m excited to be here, I’m also kind of sad because it feels like the summer of 2015 has officially come to an end.[music playing] And with that in mind, I’d like to take a moment to say goodbye, to all of those who made this summer what it was. [someone hands over a mic to Miley Cyrus] And while we never thing of any of these people ever, ever again, they certainly did this summer their way.
[singing] And now, the end is near
I’m so afraid, the final curtain
[Rachel Dolezal ‘Claimed to be black for twenty years’ at right side]
my friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll take my case of which I am certain
[The dentist who killed Cecil the Lion at left side]
I believe life is full
I travel each and every highway
[Kim Davis appears at right side]
The more, slowing this
I did it my way
regrets, I’ve had a few
but then I get, too few to mention
[‘That twerp who raised the price of AIDS medication’ at the right side]
I did what I had to do
and saw it through without redemption
[Pizza rat appears at the right side]
I played each journey
[Meek Mill and Drake beef at left side]
and each and every step out of my way
[‘Lenny Cravitz’s Junk’ at right side. Kim Davis is walking behind him with her arms raised.]
and all of this, I did it my way
yes, there were times
I’m so, you knew,
we know how I bit on
more than I could chew
but through it all
I did it all
[Everybody comes to the stage]
Thank you. Thank you so much. We’ve got a great show for you tonight. I’m here. So, stick around and we’ll be right back.