Nunya Bizness… Ego Nwodim
Ms. Queen Latifah… Punkie Johnson
Questlove
GuapLord… Pete Davidson
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta… Timothée Chalamet
[Starts with XXL Rap RoundTable video bumper]
[Cut to Nunya Bizness in the set.]
Nunya Bizness: What’s up and welcome to XXL 2020 for the culture RoundTable. I’m Nunya Bizness and today, we’ve got a distinguish panel to celebrate the unstoppable global force that is hiphop today. First up, a pioneer and trail blazer, Ms. Queen Latifah.
Ms. Queen Latifah: Okay, I see you. Ladies first. Uh-huh. I like that.
Nunya Bizness: Next up, we got hiphop historian DJ and legendary drummer of the Roots Crew, Questlove.
Questlove: Thank you. Thank you. Happy to be here, Nunya. Thank you.
Nunya Bizness: And finally, fresh off breaking the record for most streams on SoundCloud, rap duo Xam Mob, a.k.a. Gwap Lord and SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta.
GuapLord: Yee, yee. Skrri, skrri.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Say yee!
GuapLord: Yee!
Nunya Bizness: Thank you all. Thank you all. Let’s get started. It’s 2020. What does hiphop represent today?
Ms. Queen Latifah: I mean, at this point, it’s the culture. Period. We took over the world with the power of our sound.
Questlove: Absolutely. From the block parties of the 80s in the Boogie Down Bronx, to the protest movements of today, hiphop is about the lyrical tradition of America.
GuapLord: Nah. See, like, for me, foe me, it’s about that yee-yee!
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Nah, I feel like yee. Somewhat.
Nunya Bizness: I’m sorry. The yee? Could you say more?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Um, when she skrr on you, you just gotta yee on her.
GuapLord: Yeah. Like, yee-yee. Groor! Groor!
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: That’s hiphop.
GuapLord: On gong!
Nunya Bizness: Right. Well, the two confident white boys raise an interesting point. The sound has changed.
Ms. Queen Latifah: I mean, has it though? At the end of the day, it’s still drum and bass. Still an MC.
Questlove: Queen’s right. The MC is what sets hiphop apart. The poetry. The story. The truth.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yeah, I feel that. But, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, what about the yee?
Nunya Bizness: I’m sorry. You’re going to have to speak in full setences.
GuapLord: I got you. You know, like, when she got that thang all up in your face, you’re not gonna yee?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Bro! Yeah, men gotta yee! On your face!
Nunya Bizness: Okay. We’re talking about music.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: I feel that. But the yee got it boy. Like, I’m talking about my boy Tash from way back. He got Gwap. I’m like, “Damn, man!”
GuapLord: Skrr, skrr.
Nunya Bizness: Okay. I can’t make heads or tails of this nonsense.
Questlove: Okay. I think we’re on the same page here. You’re talking about the party side of hiphop. Like the dancing, the yee’ting.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Hold up. You ever seen Yo Gaba Gaba?
Questlove: Yeah. One episode like, 10 years ago.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Damn bro. Respect. You’re a legend for that one, fam.
GuapLord: Damn. That’s the woop-tie.
Nunya Bizness: No, it’s not. It’s not the woop-tie. Stop.
Ms. Queen Latifah: You know, I’m just very, very curious. Like, what got ya’ll into this? Who are your influences?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: I like Fall Out Boys.
Nunya Bizness: How about rappers?
GuapLord: I would like to say the Car Rats.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: I like Car Rats.
Ms. Queen Latifah: Who are Car Rats?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Remember? The rats were rapping and driving in a commercial?
Questlove: Wait. You mean the Kia hamsters?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yee, yee, yee.
GuapLord: Skrr. Skrr.
Nunya Bizness: Uh-huh. Okay. So, no rappers then.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: I mean, I like TikTok.
Nunya Bizness: Okay. Now I get it. You heard about rap from TikTok?
GuapLord and SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yeah.
Nunya Bizness: Right. Well, that’s just an upsetting thing to hear.
Ms. Queen Latifah: Well, look. No disrespect, but that’s not the culture. That’s just an off shoe.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: My last song got 3 billion streams bro.
Ms. Queen Latifah: Billion? With a ‘B’?
Nunya Bizness: Alright. What could you possibly made that got 3 billion streams?
GuapLord and SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yee!
Nunya Bizness: You have a song called “Yee”?
GuapLord and SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yeah.
Nunya Bizness: Is that your only song?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Well, we supposed to have other songs?
GuapLord: We could do a remix I guess.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: We’re gonna do a remix I think.
Questlove: Okay, look. There’s space for all of us. I mean, hiphop is constantly evolving and I have respect for y’all for doing your own thing.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Na, na, na. See, okay, hold up. You’re gonna respect this. Check it. [GuapLord plays the music]
GuapLord and SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yee, yee, skrr, yee, skrr, yee, skrr, skrr, skrr, roll up, yee, drop that, yee, skrr that, yee, pump that, ay, ay, ay.
GuapLord: You never loved me mom
but I needed you wo-o-o
[Questlove slaps GuapLord on his face]
Questlove: No! No! You sing like that on a rap record, man. You understand? Argh! I’m sorry. I apologize.
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Yo, chill, bro. Come on!
Questlove: Chill? [Questlove punches SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta on his face] Dumb ass! Pissing me off. I’m sorry.
Nunya Bizness: No. I mean, you don’t need to be sorry. It’s okay. It’s what we all wanted to do. Let’s take a break. [to GuapLord and SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta] Are you guys alright?
SmokeCheddaThaAssGetta: Hey, dad. Can you come get us? Everyone here is super mean.