James Brown… Kevin Hart
Dave… Kenan Thompson
Steve… Taran Killam
Robbie… Bobby Moynihan
Ricki… Beck Bennett
Kyle Mooney
Jay Pharoah
Samantha… Sasheer Zamata
[Starts with a band on a stage in 1971]James Brown: Hey! Yeah, I wanna get up and do my thing.
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: I wanna get up and do my thing.
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Can I count it all?
Band: Count it all.
James Brown: Can I count it all?
Band: Count it all.
James Brown: One, two, three, four.
[band starts playing music.] [singing] Get upDave: You don’t know
James Brown: Get up
Dave: You don’t know
James Brown: Stay on the scene
Dave: You don’t know
James Brown: Like a sex machine
Dave: You don’t know
James Brown: Hey, now wait a minute. Should we get all funky?
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Ay! Ah! I said, should we get more funky?
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Now, before we get funky, I need to hear from each person individual.
Dave: Why?
James Brown: Well, I just wanna make sure I’m making the right decision, you know. Hey! Should we get more funky, Steve?
[Cut to Steve, Robbie and Ricki playing their instruments]Steve: Yes!
[Cut to James Brown]James Brown: Hey! Yeah! Okay, that’s one. What about you, Robbie?
[Cut to Steve, Robbie and Ricki playing their instruments]Robbie: Yeah!
[Cut to James Brown]James Brown: Ha-ha-ha, fantastic. We’re halfway to funk-town people. Ay! Ricki, should we get more funky?
[Cut to Ricki is nodding his head yes.] [Cut to James Brown]That’s not good enough, Ricki. I need a verbal commitment.
[Cut to Ricki]Ricki: Okay, yes.
[Cut to James Brown and Dave]James Brown: Thank you. Ay, Dave, should we get more funky?
Dave: I don’t know.
James Brown: You don’t know? What don’t you know, Dave?
Dave: I don’t know if I wanna get more funky than this.
[Cut to Kyle playing bass guitar]Kyle: Yeah, I think we’re pretty good. We’re at funk-wise.
[Cut to Robbie.]Robbie: Yeah, man. I mean, this is fun right now.
[Cut to James Brown and Dave. Jay is playing drums at the back.] James Brown: Okay, so wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. So, y’all don’t want to get more funky?Dave: I mean, should we get more funky?
James Brown: Wait, what are you doing? I ask the questions.
Jay: Ay, I got a question
James Brown: Wait, what did I just say?
Jay: Hey, how come you’re the only one that get a cape?
Dave: Yeah, why don’t we all get capes?
James Brown: Coz if we all get capes, who’s gonna bring out the cape?
Dave: Maybe Samantha can bring out the capes.
James Brown: What? Samantha! You wanna bring out the capes?
[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha rocking her body to the music.]Samantha: I’m not bringing out no damn capes.
[Cut to James Brown, Dave and Jay]James Brown: Well, that settles cap thing. Hey!
[singing] Get upDave: You don’t know
James Brown: Get up
Dave: You don’t know
James Brown: Stay on the scene
Dave: You don’t know
James Brown: Like a sex machine
Dave: You don’t know
James Brown: Ay! Now, should we take it to the bridge?
Band: Yes.
James Brown: I said, should we take it to the bridge?
Band: Yes.
James Brown: Steve, bridge?
[Cut to Steve]Steve: No!
[Cut to James Brown and Dave]James Brown: Wait, just a flat no? Okay, I just heard you said ‘yeah’ with everybody else. What about you? Ay! Lauren, should we take it to the bridge?
[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha]Lorraine: It’s Lorraine.
James Brown: Lorraine? Since when?
[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha]Lorraine: Tuesday. I got married. [showing her ring] [Cut to James Brown and Dave]
James Brown: You got married and you changed your first name? Hey! Hey, well, you know what? I don’t want to take it to the bridge no more.
Band: What?
James Brown: Yeah, I don’t wanna. This song says three words for about 20 minutes. You know what? I’m hungry. You guys hungry?
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Should we get the chicken prawn?
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Hah! So that’s 10 chicken prawn.
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Lorraine, you want the chicken prawn?
[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha]Lorraine: With mustard.
[Cut to James Brown and Dave]James Brown: With mustard? Who wants mustard on a chicken prawn?
Dave: I do.
James Brown: Okay, fine. So, that’s 10 chicken prawns with mustard.
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Hey, now can I hit it to quit it?
Dave: I don’t know, James. Can you?
James Brown: May I, okay. May I hit it to quit it.
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Wait, so if I stop singing, you all gonna stop playing?
Band: Yeah!
James Brown: Coz I don’t wanna stop singing, then you all keep playing. Then one thinks I made a mistake.
Dave: That’s not gonna happen dude.
James Brown: Okay, hit me!
[the band stops playing] [still singing] stay on the scene…Dammit! I’m sorry guys. I’m sorry. That’s my bad. Chicken prawn.