Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 12

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Guest Writers:

February 3rd, 2007

Drew Barrymore

Lily Allen


Horatio Sanz

Jim Cashman

JB Smoove

American Idol
Summary: "American Idol" judges Simon cowell (Jason Sudeikis), Paula Abdul (Amy Poehler), and Randy Jackson (Kenan Thompson) travel the country to offer criticism to animal contestants.

Recurring Characters: Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson.


Drew Barrymore's Monologue
Summary: While making her way through the studio halls to make her acquaintance with the 5-Timer's Club, Drew Barrymore bumps headfirst into Andy Samberg and unravels a series of romantic-comedy film cliches.

First Hosted: 82g.


The Dakota Fanning Show
Summary: Brainy child star Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) fails to relate to other child stars in her age group.


Poison Therapy
Summary: A marriage counselor (Kristen Wiig) helps patch the rocky relationship between a husband (Will Forte) and the wife (Drew Barrymore) who continuously poisons him with dioxin.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: A presentation of the "Body Fuzion" workout tape from 1986, which features four women (Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph) working up a rough sweat while barely performing an actual exercise regimen.


Target Greatland
Summary: The Target Clerk (Kristen Wiig) trains a new hire (Drew Barrymore) with an attention span even short than her own.

Recurring Characters: Target clerk.

Nervous Job Interviewee
Summary: A nervous job interviewee (Drew Barrymore) frantically sips a caffeineated beverage while insulting a company's Human Resources team (Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph).

Lily Allen performs "Smile"
Bio: Lily Allen (1985-). English singer/songwriter; began to receive mainstream coverage after posting demos on; known for regularly making disparaging remarks about other musicians.


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: Weekend Update nanny Barbara Birmingham (Kenan Thompson) demonstrates the proper way to discipline a surly child.


Versace Super Bowl Party
Summary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) celebrates the Super Bowl with Prince (Fred Armisen), David Beckham (Seth Meyers) abd Posh Spice (Drew Barrymore), and Elton John (horatio Sanz).

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Prince, Posh Spice, Elton John.


Jojo the Valet
Summary: Jojo (Amy Poehler) the gawky, spunky country club valet makes his feelings known for recently-divorced club member, Ashley Sanderson (Drew Barrymore).


Firestarter Smoked Sausages
Summary: Now grown-up Charlie McGee (Drew Barrymore) uses her pyrokinetic to hawk smoked sausages.

Note: Originally cut from the dress rehearsal of Barrymore's previous hosting stint on 02/14/04. Horatio Sanz had the role now played by Jason Sudeikis.


Lily Allen performs "LDN"

The Formosa
Summary: Drunken celebrities Peter O'Toole (Bill Hader) and Drew Barrymore reminisce about the good-old-days of decadent Hollywood behavior.

Recurring Characters: Peter O'Toole.


Nelson Baby Toupees
Summary: Hair Club For Men spoof promotes haipieces for babies.

Note: Repeat from 01/21/06.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

VH-1 Super Duper Bowl
Summary: B-list celebrities offer wry commentary during Super Bowl LXI.

Gulliver's Travel
Summary: Tiny Lilliputian women wonder if Gulliver is larger than them in all the right places.

Movie Line
Summary: Two men (Jason Sudeikis, Andy Samberg) break into a confrontation while standing in line at the movies.

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