SNL Transcripts: Bill Paxton: 01/09/99

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 24: Episode 10


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


January 9th, 1999

Bill Paxton

Beck

None

Tina Fey

Paula Pell

Lorne Michaels

Debbie Matenopolous

James Cameron
Mac’s BarSummary: Bob Livingston (Will Ferrell) can’t believe he got the worst of things following President Bill Clinton’s (Darrell Hammond) sex scandal.

Recurring Characters: Bob Livingston, Newt Gingrich, President Bill Clinton.

Transcript

Montage

Bill Paxton’s MonologueSummary: After prattling on about his close friendship with Sissy Spacek, the cast and crew douse Bill Paxton in pig’s blood.

The ViewSummary: Barbara Walters (Cheri Oyeri) and the girls are relieved to be rid of Debbie Matenopolous.

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Meredith Vieira, Star Jones, Joy Behar.

The CulpsSummary: Marty (Will Ferrell) and Bobbi Mohan-Culp )Ana Gasteyer) perform a medley while trapped by a blizzard at O’Hare Airport.

Recurring Characters: Marty Culp, Bobbie Mohan-Culp.

TitanicSummary: In James Cameron’s original ending, old Rose (Cheri Oteri) receives a savage beating.

Recurring Characters: Gloria Stuart.

Transcript

Fat Albert: Behind The MusicSummary: Fat Albert (Tracy Morgan) recalls the downfall of the Junkyard Gang.

Transcript

Weekend Update with Colin QuinnSummary: Elizabeth Dole (Ana Gasteyer) announces the wild candidacy plans she has for the 2000 Election.

Recurring Characters; Elizabeth Dole.

Transcript

Beck performs “Nobody’s Fault But My Own”Also Performed: 96j, 99g, 02l, 04q, 06d.

NewsForceSummary: Numerous graphics cover the screen at once during important news reports.

Transcript

KCF ShreddersSummary: A teenager (Jimmy Fallon) touts the hip lettuce snacker for his generation.

Note: Repeat from 10/02/98.

Pick Your Postal Service

Fantastic VoyageSummary: Scienstists embark on a miniature journey through President Clinton’s penis.

Beck performs “Tropicalia”

Extreme HuntingSummary: Ted Nugent (Bill Paxton) loves to hunt, especially when he gets to use Prince (Chris Kattan) as a target.

Recurring Characters: skeeter, Prince.

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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