Steve Martin[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, James Franco.[James Franco walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]
James Franco: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Great to be back here hosting SNL. This is my 4th time hosting. [cheers and applause] Which is the most you can do without it being special. When you host it five times, you get a jacket. But the 4th time here, they don’t even write you a monologue. They just throw you out here and make you take questions from the audience. So, here we go. yes, you sir.[Cut to a man in audience]
Man: Yeah, I got a question. What time is it? They made me turn my phone off.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: What time is it? That’s really your question?[Cut to the man]
Man: Yeah. My hand wasn’t up. You just pointed at me and I panicked.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Okay. Does anyone have any real questions?[Cut to a girl in the audience]
Girl: My question is, [Seth Rogan is behind the girl. He is trying to hide from James Franco] do you feel like your career has an over arching theme? Or do you just move from project to project and only look for a theme in retrospect?[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: I’m sorry. That’s really great question. Uh, is that Seth Rogan sitting behind you? [cheers and applause] Seth, what’s going on, man? You’re just here in the audience to watch me host the show? Or what?[Cut to Seth Rogan]
Seth Rogan: Um, no. Honestly, I’m just here to see the show in general. I didn’t realize you were hosting it.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: So, you’re just– you’re just here?[Cut to Seth Rogan]
Seth Rogan: Yeah. I put my name in the lottery for SNL tickets and this is the week I got. It was just totally random. Luckily, I’m a huge SZA fan. So, it worked out.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Yeah. That’s really interesting coz I asked early in the week if you’d come by and do a sketch with me and you told me, [mocking] “Sorry, I have something.”[Cut to Seth Rogan]
Seth Rogan: Yeah. I did have something. I had SNL tickets. They’re really hard to get. People line up outside all night trying to get them and I got them.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Okay. Well, that’s great. Thanks so much. Ma’am, for you question, thank you.[Cut to the girl]
Girl: You never answered my question.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Okay, next question.[Cut to Seth Rogan. He is holding a woman’s hand up who is sitting beside him]
Seth Rogan: Um, yeah. This woman here has a question. Yeah. She wants to know how come you’ve hosted four times and Seth Rogan has only hosted twice?[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Okay. Um, well, why don’t you ask Seth, ma’am, why the movies I do on my own like ‘127 Hours’ get nominated for Oscars and the movies I do with Seth gets nominated for ‘Stoner Awards?’[Cut to Seth Rogan]
Seth Rogan: Okay. Well, why don’t you tell James that they’re called ‘Stonies,’ which is a hilarious play on the word “Tony’s.” And that they are as prestigious as an Oscar. Plus, when you win, you get bag of weed.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Alright, Seth, I’m sorry. There’s a rule that only one stoner can host in a season. And that’s me. And that’s who everyone’s here to see. Okay?[Cut to Seth Rogan and the woman. Jonah Hill walks in.]
Jonah Hill: Sorry, you’re in my seat.
Seth Rogan: Yeah. Excuse me, my friend’s here now. Sorry about that.[The woman walks away and Jonah Hill takes the seat]
Hey, man.[cheers and applause]
Jonah Hill: Sorry, I’m late. Did I miss SZA?
Seth Rogan: No, no. Thank god. yeah.
Jonah Hill: Oh, okay. Cool. Who’s hosting?
Seth Rogan: Franco.
Jonah Hill: David Franco?[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: No, Johan. It’s me. Me. I’m hosting. Me.[Cut to Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill]
Jonah Hill: Ah! Okay. People… wanna see that? Cool. Hey, Seth, you’ve only hosted twice, right?
Seth Rogan: Yeah. I know. Thank you.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Alright, guys. I don’t know what to tell you, alright? Um– [James Franco looks at the audience above] Why is Steve Martin here?[Cut to Steve Martin in the audience] [cheers and applause]
Steve Martin: James, James, I want you to know, I used to stand on that very spot right where you’re standing. I used to host Saturday Night Live. I used to be the center of attention. And I gotta say, I resent it. Just a little bit. I resent it this much.[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Okay. Steve, what are you talking about? You’re a big star. You’re still hot. You’re still hot.[Cut to Steve Martin]
Steve Martin: [yelling] Do I look hot?[Cut to James Franco]
James Franco: Alright. We have a great show tonight. [Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill join him] SZA is here.
Seth Rogan: Yeah, SZA! SZA! SZA!
James Franco: Stick around. We’ll be right back.