Tag: Trends

Weekend Update Trend Forecasters on Summer Trends

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: Well, it’s almost summer and as the weather changes, so do styles and trends. Here to comment on what’s in for summer or to trend forecasters.

[Trend forecasters slide in]

[cheers and applause]

Aidy: Yes, here we go now.

Michael Che: Thanks for coming back. I can see you’re ready for warm weather.

Aidy: Yes. We had a meeting this morning with the Sun.

Bowen: We typed what it told us into our big throbbing computer. Here is the report.

[music playing]

Aidy: Our first category is summer fruit trends.

Bowen: In, grapes with seeds.

Aidy: In, tying cherry stem with tongue to impress for sex.

Bowen: In, watermelon sugar song. And out…

Aidy and Bowen: Navel orange.

Bowen: Navel orange? Eww! Why do you have a belly button? You’re a fruit!

Aidy: What’s next? Honey  doos with C section scar?

Aidy and Bowen: Navel orange, go to bed, bitch.

Michael Che: Why do you guys always have to yell?

Aidy: Because if we whisper, no one listens. Our next category is greeting trends in. In, hey.

Bowen: In, Catherine?

Aidy: In, come on in guys. Welcome to Hooters.

Bowen: And out…

Aidy and Bowen: This is your captain speaking.

Bowen: Huh? No! You’re flying a plane, not hosting a podcast.

Aidy: You’re a pilot. Captains are for boats, you sky bitch!

Bowen: By the way, your girl workers are giving me vodka back here. We’re having an amazing time without you.

Aidy and Bowen: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Go to bed, bitch.

Michael Che: Are you both okay? Are you okay?

[Aidy screams]

Aidy: Oh, no. We’re terrified. Because the next category is here.

Aidy and Bowen: Time trends.

Aidy: In 3:25 PM.

Bowen: In, about 10 to 15 minutes.

Aidy: In, midnight when you turn to pumpkin.

Bowen: And out…

Aidy and Bowen: When the kitchen is closed.

Bowen: Well, the kitchen’s closed? Well, how interesting. I can see people moving around back there.

Aidy: All I want is a complicated dish that’s not on the menu and I’m allergic to everything.

Bowen: The kitchen’s closed?

Aidy and Bowen: Go to bed, bitch.

Michael Che: Yeah. I love when you guys come but I never understand anything you are saying.

Aidy: Well, good. Than just enjoy the view, Mr. Che.

Bowen: And pay attention to future trends.

Aidy: In, 10 nice years.

Bowen: In, a friend I couldn’t have done this without.

Aidy: And wow, look who’s back. In.

Bowen: It’s navel orange, we love your girl.

Aidy: Congratulations, naval orange.

[clapping]

Michael Che: Wait. So, what’s gonna be out in the future?

Aidy: Well Michael, the computer has ousted three trends.

Bowen: And you know they have to be a victor to hell.

Aidy: Out, is pretty little bouquet…

Bowen: Expensive tiara…

Aidy and Bowen: And Michael che.

[Michael Che is holding a pretty little bouquet and wearing a tiara]

Michael Che: [screaming] No!

Aidy: But, I’m just hearing. Something new is in. In, my best guys kissing me.

Bowen: Well, then we must.

[Michael Che and Bowen kiss Aidy on her cheeks]

Michael Che: Trend forecasters, everybody.

Aidy: We love you.

Weekend Update Trend Forecasters on the Latest Trends

Michael Che

Aidy Bryant

Bowen Yang

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: Tracking consumer data has never been more difficult which makes purchasing trends even harder to predict. Here to talk about it are two trend forecasters.

[Trend forecasters slide in]

Aidy: Oh, good evening, Michael.

Bowen: Good evening, yes.

Michael Che: How do you guys predict today’s most popular trends?

Aidy: Oh, well, we have 4000 computers. They’re all big. They all make charts and they beep loud.

Bowen: The numbers are in and the trends of today have been cast. Here is the report. Our first category is fashion trends. In, shirt too big for body.

Aidy: In, hat too small to head.

Bowen: In, the male cleavage.

Aidy: And out, shiny shoe. Shiny shoe, you’re out, so go back to hell.

Bowen: Stop flaunting your wealth, shiny shoe.

Aidy: We’re fighting a virus.

Bowen: If I see you on the street, I’ll stab you in the face.

Aidy: Go to bed, bitch.

Michael Che: Damn, seems like you guys hate shiny shoes.

Aidy: Shh! Shh! We have our next category.

Bowen: Men trends.

Aidy: In, dry calloused feet.

Bowen: In, doing the damn dishes.

Aidy: In, sobbing.

Bowen: And out, movie posters as decor.

Aidy: Movie posters as decor, get f-ed.

Bowen: Are you a band aid? Because I want to rip you off!

Aidy: Oh, grow up, Pulp Fiction poster. And be a damn painting.

Bowen: Movie posters as decor, go to bed!

Michael Che: Why do you guys keep sending things to bed?

Aidy: Because we aren’t allowed to send them to death.

Michael Che: What are you talking about?

Bowen: We’re talking trends. Emergency, emergency, we have our next category. Baby trends.

Aidy: In, wearing the smallest stuff they make.

Bowen: In, being twins.

Aidy: In, being burped by a friend.

Bowen: And out, dumping in that path and saying nothing.

Aidy: Baby, why are you doing that? That’s insane.

Bowen: This is a society. Eating Cheerios with a dump on your ass? No!

Aidy: These quiet legends need to speak up.

Bowen: Their silence is deafening.

Aidy: Get in your bed, that’s also a jail.

Michael Che: I’m sorry. I don’t understand. There’s no time to understand because it’s time for future trends.

Aidy: In, Euphoria: the feeling.

Bowen: In, AP US History.

Aidy: And oh-oh, back from hell. It’s shiny shoe. Congratulations, shoe.

Michael Che: What about the things that are gonna be out?

Aidy: Well, Michael, the computer only asked him three trends.

Bowen: And you know that they all have to be banished to hell for being out.

Aidy: Out, his cat eyeglasses

Bowen: Fidget spinner.

Aidy and Bowen: And Michael Che.

[Michael Che wearing cat eyeglasses with a fidget spinner on his one hand.]

Michael Che: [yelling] No! The Trend forecasters, everybody.