HipHop Nativity

Kitty… Heidi Gardner

Neely… Billy Eilish

Chris Redd

Joseph…Kyle Mooney

Bowen Yang

Baby Jesus… Andrerw Dismukes

Mary… Chloe Fineman

[Starts with a rehearsal of Hip-Hop Nativity]

Kitty: Hey, hi. Is all nativity cast present?

Cast: Yes, miss Kitty.

Kitty: Right. First and only pageant rehearsal, y’all. I need you to bring your A game.

Kitty: Okay, so here’s the deal, okay guys? Times are changing. We can’t do the normal, boring pageant thing this year.

Kitty: Too old school, too Boomer. Okay? This year, we’re switching it up.

Kitty: Okay. That’s right. And lucky for you guys, Neely and I took it upon ourselves to learn all of hip-hop.

Chris: I’m sorry, you learned all of hip hop?

Kitty: Correct. And it’s gonna be a freeform hip hop, live nativity.

Kitty: Okay, so let’s get started with rehearsal. We got a lot of hip hop to teach you, okay? Now where’s our Joseph?

Joseph: : Right here, Miss Kitty.

Kitty: Okay, Joseph. So, now you’re gonna enter with a pimp walk.

Joseph: A what?

Kitty: A pimp walk. Here, Neely and I will show you. Play the tracks, sweetie.

[music playing] [Kitty and Kitty start doing the pimp walk]

Kitty: A pimp walk, a pimp walk. A pimp walk, a pimp walk. And you’re gonna work it down here. Yeah, it’s okay. Because hip hop is low in the body.

Kitty: Y’all are up here, but hip hop is down here. Hey, the streets are in the knees, okay?

Chris: Oh, are they now?

Kitty: Yeah, coz you know what? It’s walk, and it’s walk. And it’s, “I’m Joseph. I’m a baby daddy now. So, I pimp walk. I pimp walk.” There, go, do it.

Joseph: okay, so like… [starts doing pimp walk]

Kitty: Pimp walk.

Kitty: Come on. Pimp walk.

Kitty: Pimp walk.

Kitty: Pimp walk.

Kitty: Pimp walk. Yeah. Pimp walk’s getting there. The pimp walk’s getting there. Okay. Baby, go to the corner freight so long, keep pimp walking.

Chris: Yeah. To just face the wall?

Kitty: Yeah.

Chris: Okay.

Kitty: Pimp walk.

Kitty: Where are my donkeys at?

Chris: By all means, teach me hip hop, please.

Kitty: Okay, so, you three are going to follow Joseph out. Okay, not up here, this is country music. Okay, down here, this is hip hop. And when you land I want booty booty.

Bowen: Don’t you mean ass?

Kitty: That is not funny. Watch me pop my butt, okay? Can everybody see my butt?

Kitty: Okay, can you see that? Can you see that pop? It’s a hip pop. It’s a trot, trot, hop. And you feel it in your hook. Okay? So, trot, trot, hop. Trot, trot, hop. Trot, trot, hop. And just straight donkey Christmas, hip-pop, pop, pop.

Chris: How is no one filming this?

Baby Jesus: Hey, sorry. Just throwing this out there but I’d be totally cool just doing what we practiced. You know, ditching the whole freeform Hip Hop thing.

Kitty: Oh, Baby Jesus, please. Please just focus on your twerking.

Baby Jesus: Excuse me? Twerking?

Kitty: Okay, come here. Donkeys, pop over there. Okay, baby. Are you in your diaper?

Baby Jesus: I mean, yeah.

Kitty: Drop robe. Let’s go.

[Baby Jesus opens his robe. He’s wearing a diaper.]

Kitty: Oh, Jesus, Mary and Juliana Margulies. Honey, do you not have a butt? We got to make him a butt quick.

[Kitty and Kitty bring some hays and put inside his diaper.]

Baby Jesus: Hold on. No, I don’t want to twerk. I don’t want to twerk. I’m playing a baby. Hey! Cut it out!

Kitty: We’ll make you a butt, baby.

Baby Jesus: No, I don’t need one.

Kitty: Listen, Baby Jesus can do anything now, wring it out. Go, twerk son.

[Baby Jesus starts twerking]

Kitty: Oh, wow. He can actually twerk.

Kitty: It’s a miracle. Now, where’s my Mary’s? Where’s Mary?

[Mary runs in]

Kitty: How comfortable are you on a stripper pole, sweetie?

Mary: Um. I’m not sure.

Kitty: Wrong answer.

Kitty: Alright, I’ll do it. Mary go grind on the wall. Alright, drops the beat. Get my Joseph in pimp walk.

Joseph: Best Christmas, ya’ll!

Kitty: Donkey, start popping. Oh, yes! And Baby J, shaking like a rattle.

Kitty: [dancing on the pole] Praise him. Praise Baby Jesus!

Kitty: Oh my goodness! I think we might have ourselves a Christmas show!

Billie Eilish I Love You (Live) – SNL

Woody Harrelson

Billy Eilish

[Starts with Woody Harrelson announcing in SNL stage]

Woody Harrelson: Once again, the wonderful, Billy Eilish.

[Cheers and applause] [Music playing] [Cut to a guitarist and Billy Eilish on the stage]

Billy Eilish: It’s not true
Tell me I’ve been lied to
Crying isn’t like you
Oh-oh-oh

What the hell did I do?
Never been the type to
Let someone see right through
Oh-oh-oh

Maybe won’t you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn’t mean to say “I love you”

I love you and I don’t want to
Oh-oh-oh

Up all night on another red eye
I wish we never learned to fly
I-I-I

Maybe we should just try
To tell ourselves a good lie
I didn’t mean to make you cry
I-I-I

Maybe won’t you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn’t mean to say “I love you”

I love you and I don’t want to
Oh-oh-oh

The smile that you gave me
Even when you felt like dying

We fall apart as it gets dark
I’m in your arms in Central Park
There’s nothing you could do or say
I can’t escape the way, I love you
I don’t want to, but I love you
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

[Song ends] [Cheers and applause]

 

Billie Eilish Bad Guy (Live) – SNL

Woody Harrelson

Billy Eilish

[Starts with Woody Harrelson on SNL stage announcing the show]

Woody Harrelson: Ladies and gentlemen, the incomparable, Billy Eilish.

[Cheers and applause] [Cut to Billy Eilish dancing in a room wearing funky clothes] [Music playing] [Billy Eilish humming] [Cut to the band playing] [Cut to Billy Eilish in the room]

Billy Eilish: White shirt now red, my bloody nose
Sleeping, you’re on your tippy toes
Creeping around like no one knows
Think you’re so criminal

Bruises, on both my knees for you
Don’t say thank you or please
I do what I want when I’m wanting to
My soul? So cynical

So you’re a tough guy
Like it really rough guy
Just can’t get enough guy
Chest always so puffed guy

I’m that bad type
Make your mama sad type
Make your girlfriend mad tight
Might seduce your dad type

I’m the bad guy, duh

I’m the bad guy

I like it when you take control
Even if you know that you don’t
Own me, I’ll let you play the role
I’ll be your animal


My mommy likes to sing along with me
But she won’t sing this song
If she reads all the lyrics
She’ll pity the men I know

So you’re a tough guy
Like it really rough guy
Just can’t get enough guy
Chest always so puffed guy

I’m that bad type
Make your mama sad type
Make your girlfriend mad tight
Might seduce your dad type

I’m the bad guy, duh

I’m the bad guy, duh

I’m only good at being bad, bad

[beat changes]

I like when you get mad
I guess I’m pretty glad that you’re alone
You said she’s scared of me?
I mean, I don’t see what she sees
But maybe it’s ’cause I’m wearing your cologne

I’m a bad guy
I’m a bad guy
Bad guy, bad guy
I’m a bad-

[Music stops] [cheers and applause]