Colin Jost: Well guys, tonight is the last show of the season and Che and I have decided that our end of the year gift to each other will once again be jokes.
Michael Che: Yeah. So, we’re making each other read jokes live on air that the other person has never seen before.
Colin Jost: And the idea is to keep it fun, light. No one’s going to get canceled. No one’s family’s going to get threatened. Have fun.
Michael Che: Sure, we’ll see. Why don’t you go first?
Colin Jost: An obese monkey in Thailand named Godzilla has been sent to a special facility to lose weight. Official realize that the monkey was overweight when a bunch of black guys kept hitting on it.
Michael Che: That was pretty racist, Colin. Las Vegas is opening a Pop-up vaccine site at a strip club and don’t worry, the strippers say the vaccine is a lot like Michael Che, very quick and you can barely feel it go in.
Colin Jost: Warner Brothers is producing a new movie in which Superman is black. And a black Superman actually makes a lot of sense when you remember that Superman was abandoned by his parents as a baby. There’s more? Well, I knew you’d like that one, so here’s another one. Warner Brothers is producing a new movie in which Superman is black. In this version, black Superman’s kryptonite honest day’s work.
Michael Che: Whoa! Really doubling down on black Superman. San Diego police are being investigated after video surfaced of them using excessive force on a homeless black man accused of urinating in public. But I say, “Great work keeping out streets clean, boys.” Yes sir, anything the police do is all right ole Mikey Che. I know I’m probably the only black man brave enough to say this on live TV but blue lives matter even more.
Colin Jost: Really nice of you. This week, construction began on a new Hip Hop museum in the Bronx. And I know that we had a lot of fun with me reading racist jokes that Michael writes for me, but because our country is divided enough, I’d like to use my platform to say something that everyone of all races can agree on. Woody Allen is innocent. He did nothing wrong. Before I go, I just thought of another punch line for that black Superman joke. Black Superman will be referred to as the Man of Steel, spelled S-T-E-A-L.