Category: 1975

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 3

75c: Rob Reiner

Golden Needles

Spokesman ….. George Coe
Swimmer ….. Jacqueline Carlin
Tennis Player ….. Chevy Chase

[ Fade in on a woman diving into a swimming pool. She swims across, emerges from thewater and addresses the camera ]

Swimmer: Right now, I’m having brain surgery.

[ Cut to an old woman cheerfully working in a garden ]

Gardener: Right now, I’m having a spinal fusion.

[ Cut to a tennis player about to serve the ball ]

Tennis Player: Right now, I’m having a vasectomy.

[ Cut to the commercial spokesman standing in front of a wood panel backdrop ]

Spokesman: “Impossible”, you say? Not with Golden Needles voodoo accupuncture,the amazing new scientific breakthrough that combines the ancient art of Chineseaccupuncture with the modern convenience of Haitian voodoo. If you’re like me, youjust don’t have time to make frequent visits to the doctor or lie around someexpensive hospital for weeks on end. But now, thanks to voodoo accupuncture,medical attention is as close as you’re mailbox. Simply jot your ailment down andsend it with check or money order to:

[ Cut to the Golden Needles address in black type on a yellow background:”GOLDEN NEEDLES
DEPT. 22
PORT AU-PRINCE, HAITI” ]

Spokesman (voice): Golden Needles, department 22, Port Au-Prince, Haiti.

[ Cut back to the spokesman ]

Spokesman: And be sure to enclose a lock of your hair, a few fingernail parings,and a recent photo. On receipt of your letter, qualified native cultists will fashion…

[ The spokesman holds up a voodoo doll with feathers for hair ]

Spokesman: …a wax doll in your image, and then a skilled Chinese physicianwill stick healing pins into that doll…

[ The spokesman sticks a needle into the doll’s chest, then holds up a deadchicken in his other hand ]

Spokesman: …speeding instant relief to you! And all for just $39.95.

[ “JUST $39.95” flashes on screen ]

Spokesman: That’s right, just $39.95 for operations costing up to ten or fifteenthousand dollars. So if doctor bills are giving you a headache, try treating yourself theGolden Needles way.

[ Cut again to the address title card ]

Spokesman: That’s Golden Needles, department 22, Port-Au-Prince, Haiti.

[ A quick burst of native drumming, then a blow dart hits the center of the title card ]

Voiceover: In case of medical emergency, priority will be given to letters with theearliest postmark.

[ Fade out ]

Submitted by: Dan Pascoe

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 3

75c: Rob Reiner

Pancreas

Ed…..John Belushi
Wife…..Gilda Radner

Don Pardo: A message from the National Pancreas Association!

[FADE IN on Gilda Radner and John Belushi as a married couple in their living room. John has a long face, and Gilda stares at him with concern.]

Ed: You know, honey, I don’t feel good.

Wife: Well, that’s too bad, Ed. Did you ever think that it might be your pancreas?

Ed: Gee, honey. I must have unthinkingly ruled my pancreas out. I’ll check on it first thing in the morning.

[FADE to a doctor’s office and SUPERIMPOSE the caption “THE NEXT DAY.” Dan Aykroyd, as the doctor, looks at a medical chart and shakes his head.]

Doctor: I’m sorry, Ed. Your pancreas is on the fritz. You came to me just in time. Reminds me of a little joke. Knock, knock.

Ed: Who’s there?

Doctor: [matter-of-factly] Ed’s pancreas.

Ed: Ed’s pancreas who?

Doctor: I don’t know, Ed. But I know this: good glands don’t grow on trees.

Ed: Yeah. I guess I haven’t done right by…

[dramatic pause]

Ed: My pancreas.

[FADE to Ed’s wife smiling sweetly and waiting for him to come in. SUPERIMPOSE the caption “LATER THAT NIGHT” as Ed enters the room and sits down on the couch.]

Wife: Geez, Ed, you look like a million bucks! How are you feeling?

Ed: Fit as a fiddle. A fiddle with a healthy pancreas. Ha, ha, ha, ha!

[They kiss once and both grin at the camera.]

[dissolve to art card: “Brought to you by your National Pancreas Association”]

[ dissolve onto audience, zoom in on smiling woman, with SUPER: “Has Been To Lee Radziwell’s House”]

Submitted by: Joe Cornfield

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 3

75c: Rob Reiner

Weekend Update with Chevy Chase

…..Chevy Chase
…..Laraine Newman
…..Garrett Morris

[FADE IN on Chevy Chase sitting at the anchor desk and talking on the telephone.]

Don Pardo: From Saturday Night News Headquarters, this is “Weekend Update” with Chevy Chase!

Chevy Chase: Are you udner the covers right now? [ smiles ] Did you shower? [ smiles again, notices the camera, then quickly hangs up the phone and begins with a falsetto ] Good evening — [ clears his throat ] Good evening! I’m Chevy Chase.

The top story is, of course, the good news that President Ford is over that week-long bout with that stubborn cold. White huose physicians say that, after a mild cold of that sort, it will take the President a few days to recover his motor skills fully, citing the period after his last cold when he tied his shoe to his hair blower and inadvertently pardoned Richard Nixon.

[ show slide of George Wallace ]
On the campaign trail, Gov. George Wallace expressed disappointment that the Pope would not grant him an audience. The Vatican has stated the Pope simply did not know who Wallace was, pointing out that handicapped people are always knocking on his door.

Starting a speaking tour this week, former governor Ronald Reagan spoke out against marijuana, abortion, the equal rights amendent, busing, and gun control legislation. When asked what he was for, Reagan replied, quote, “Hair dye,” unquote.

Reagan stated that, like Wallace, he was also considering campaigning in a wheelchair, saying, “It’s not for the sympathy I’d get, it just makes the race more fair.”

[ show slide of Evil Knieval jumping his motorcycle over a line of busses ]
Kings, Island, Ohio — this afternoon, Evil Knieval successfully jumped his Harley-Davidson motorcycle over fourteen Greyhound busses. Evil will attempt to jump a Greyhound bus over Fred MacMurray and his entire family next week.

Sirhan Sirhan, convicted assassin, has changed his name to Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan. He gave no reason for, uh, this decision.

[ show slide of the exterior of the Blaine Hotel ]

Chevy Chase: Well, more trouble at the Blaine hotel, in midtown Manhattan, where three kidnappers have been holding a hostage for some twenty hours now. For an on-the-spot report, let’s go live to Laraine Newman at the Blaine Hotel. Laraine?

[ cut to a shot looking down a staircase to Laraine Newman standing outside of Room 1822 at the Blaine Hotel ]

Laraine Newman: Chevy, I’m standing outside a room on the 18th Floor of the Blaine Hotel, where a group of terrorists calling themselves, strangely enough, simply, “Blowfish”, are holding several hostages. Inexplicably, they have insisted that famed television show announcer, Don Pardo, read off their list of ransom demands on national television.

[ the door slowly opens ]

Oh, the door to the room appears to be opening. Tell us what they want, Don Pardo. [ sticks her microphone into the crack of the door ]

Don Pardo V/O: Laraine! The kidnappers want to be transported on one of Gotham Choppers quiet and comfortable Executive Helicopters to Kennedy Airport! [ show product slide ] Gotham, for the lift of a lifetime! [ next product slide ] While at Kennedy, they’ll receive three complete sets of Trav-King Air-Mate modeled and carry-on luggage, Laraine! [ next product slide ] And they’ll fly on British Pacific Airways’ luxurious Sunfaster Funjet to Havana, Cuba, the Carribbean’s unchallenging island paradise! [ next product slide ] And, Laraine, they’ll board that jet on thirty square yards of Brasland Carpet, their choice of sixteen colors and patterns! [ next product slide ] And, while receiving asylum in Havana, the kidnappers will stay in the sumptious Imperial Suite in Havana’s lush Guevera Beach Hotel! [ next product slide ] And, they’ll be wearing these “Guido” Slacks — [ next product slide ] when they demand two millions’ worth of Remco pure, refined gold bullion, from First City Bankers National of Remco – gold processors for over FIFTY years! Laraine?

[ cut back to Laraine, who retrieves her microphone from the crack in the door ]

Laraine Newman: And that’s the way it is at the blaine Hotel. Back to you, Chevy Chase!

Chevy Chase: [ in front of “Still to Come” screen ] Still To Come: Earthquake: Friend or Foe, Switzerland Declares War on Itself, and Rudolph Hess Plans a Halloween Party.” After this filmed message.

[ dissolve to ad parody for Wrigley’s Gum, then back to Weekend Update ]

[ Blaine Hotel ad card ]

Announcer: Guests of “Saturday Night” stay at the fabulous Blaine Hotel in midtown Manhattan. A New York tradition for more than fifty years.

[ dissolve back to Chevy Chase ]

Chevy Chase: Acid indigestion in the news. The signing of a joint communique between Great Britain and Saudia Arabia was held up Wednesday, when Prime Minister Harold Wilson became sick to his stomach and threw up on the papers at the ceremony. [ slide shakes ] Referring to the incident later, the Prime Minister said, quote, [ makes throw-up noise ].

Chevy Chase: And now, as a public service to those of our viewers who have difficulty with their hearing, I will repeat the top story of the day, aided by the Headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing – Mr. Garrett Morris.

[ Garrett appears in an oval over Chevy’s right shoulder ]

Chevy Chase: Our top story tonight —

Garrett Morris: [ cups his hands and yells ] OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT!!!

Chevy Chase: President Ford is finally over that stubborn week-long cold.

Garrett Morris: PRESIDENT FORD IS FINALLY OVER THAT STUBBORN WEEK-LONG COLD!!!

[ Garrett disappears ]

Chevy Chase: [ smiles ] Well, that’s the news tonight. I’m Chevy Chase. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 3

75c: Rob Reiner

What Gilda Ate

…..Rob Reiner
…..Gilda Radner

Rob Reiner: And now, a new feature on “Saturday Night”, “What Gilda Ate. Gilda?

Gilda Radner: Thanks, Rob. Okay, I started the day with one piece of dry toast and two egg whites scrambled in a no-stick Teflon pan; and then I had a little piece of chicken from some leftover Chinese food that I had in the refrigerator, and one breaded sweet-and-sour shrimp, but I picked all the breading off. And then, at lunch, I had a half of a club sandwich, but I took out the middle piece of bread and I left the crust, but I traded the other half for a half of Western omelette with cheese; and then I finished before everyone else, so I had a roll with butter and three french fries off of somebody else’s plate, and a Tab. But I didn’t order dessert. But on the way back to the office, I had a Fig Newton and an Almond Joy candy bar. And then, when I got back to the office, I told everyone I was going to the bathroom, but I really went to a coffee shop and had Apple Pie a la Mode, and I ate the whole thing. And on the way back up, in the elevator, I found a Milk Dud covered in tobacco at the bottom of my pure, and I ate it. And, then on the way back to work, I went to the drugstore and bought an M&M Peanut Munch Bar..

Rob Reiner: [ finally interrupts ] Thank you very much, Gilda, that’s enough!

Gilda Radner: But I’m not finished yet..

Rob Reiner: I know, but we have to go on with the show, I’m sorry.

Gilda Radner: Oh.. [ shrugs ] I’ll just go get a snack.. [ exits stage ]

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 3

75c: Rob Reiner

The Wheelchair

Nurse…..Jane Curtin
Mr. Featherstone…..Chevy Chase

[ open on Nurse wheeling Mr. Featherstone into a lightly decorated room ]

Nurse: I’ll check in on you later, Mr. Featherstone. [ she exits ]

Mr. Featherstone: Thank you, Karen.

[ Mr. Featherstone places a cigarette in his mouth, then reaches for his lighter, which accidentally drops and bounces across the floor. He looks around for his nurse, with hopes of retrieving his lighter, but she’s nowhere to be found. With no other recourse, Mr. Featherstone rises from his wheelchair, walks across the floor, picks up his lighter, then casually returns to his position in his wheelchair. ]

[ Mr. Featherstone lights his cigarette, then suddenly realizes that he just walked. Confused, yet curious, he decides to try his luck again and tosses the lighter across the floor. Mr. Featherstone then steps out of his wheelchair and promptly falls flat on his face. ]

Mr. Featherstone: [ looks up at the camera and yells: ] “Live, from New York, it’s “Saturday Night!”

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 4


]]>

Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:



A Film By:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

November 8th, 1975

Candice Bergen

Esther Phillips

Andy Kaufman

The Muppets

Albert Brooks

Andrew Duncan

Neil Levy

Al Franken

Tom Davis



Season 1: Order Now! The President of the United StatesSummary: Chevy Chase debuts his impression of Gerald R. Ford, as the accident-prone president stumbles his way through a speech he delivers directly to the “Saturday Night Live” audience.

Note: The running gag in which President Ford encounters one malady after another stems from a June 1st, 1975 incident in Salzburg, Austria, when he slipped on a wet ramp while exiting Air Force One. These episodes are especially fun to look back on, when there were no cell phones, laptops, any way to generate QR code numbers for your devices. Seems very innocent now.

Transcript

MontageNote: In the early days, the cast was only listed by name, four at a time on two title cards. Only the second title card, containing the names Garrett Morris, Michael O’Donaghue, Laraine Newman and Gilda Radner appears in the opening credits this week.

Candice Bergen’s MonologueSummary: As Candice Bergen, SNL’s first woman host, tells the audience about tonight’s great show, a bee (John Belushi) appears on stage and grabs her hand. Chevy Chase approaches to swat the bee with a newspaper, but Candice objects, despite her allergies. Naturally, Chevy swats the bee anyway.

Recurring Characters: Bee.

Bio: Candice Bergen (1946-). Actress; daughter of Edgar Bergen, ventriloquist to Charlie McCarthy; film credits include: “Carnal Knowledge” (1971), “Rich and Famous” (1981); starred in CBS sitcom “Murphy Brown”, 1988-98; starred on “Boston Legal”, since 2005.

Also Hosted: 75h, 76j, 87e, 89t.

Transcript

Ambassador Training InstituteSummary: A commercial spokesman (Andrew Duncan) explains how you can apply to become a U.S. ambassador for a foreign country, aptly mixing work with play.

Note: One NBC affiliate switched to local commercials during this ad parody because they believed it was a real ad.

Transcript

CIA RecordsSummary: At the disheveled offices of the CIA, an employee (Dan Aykroyd) can’t seem to find the career criminal file belonging to Garrett Morris.

Transcript

Jaws IISummary: In this film spoof, the “cleverest species of them all” – the Land Shark (Chevy Chase) terrorizes young woman in their homes, luring them to the door by pretending to deliver flowers and Candygrams. Matt Hooper (John Belushi) and Sheriff Brody (Dan Aykroyd) survey the bodily damages.

Recurring Characters: Land Shark, Matt Hooper, Sheriff Brody.

Transcript

Esther Phillips performs “What a Difference a Day Makes”Bio: Esther Phillips (1935-1984). Soul songstress; covered songs from nearly every musical genre of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

Lyrics

Weekend Update with Chevy ChaseSummary: Chevy Chase makes faces behind congresswoman Jane Curtin’s back as she delivers an editorial reply against federal aid to New York City. As a public service to viewers who have difficulty hearing, Garrett Morris, the headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing, repeats the evening’s top story.

Long-DistanceSummary: As he makes a long-distance call to his mother, a gay man reminisces about the joy’s of dressing in her clothes. After all, it’s “the next best thing to being her.”

Note: This ad parody angered The Gay Activists Alliance during its initial broadcast. It was edited out of a late-night classic rebroadcast on NBC in 2005, and replaced with a repeat of the Triopenin ad parody.

ChanelSummary: With her face leaning against the bottle, French actress Catherine Deneuve (Bergen) endorses the perfume that helps her cope with her own fame.

Andy KaufmanSummary: Andy Kaufman enters as his Foreign Man character. He attempts to tell a joke, perform impressions, dance and sing, but he bombs so terribly that he wishes the cameras weren’t rolling. After breaking into a nervous crying fit, he plays the bongos to the audience’s delight.

Transcript

InsecuritiesSummary: Candice Bergen and Gilda Radner discuss their insecurities, prior to introducing this week’s film by Albert Brooks.

NBC Super SeasonSummary: Albert Brooks gives us a look at some mid-season replacement shows waiting to be broadcast on NBC – the dramatic “Medical Season”, the wild comedy sex farce “The Three Of Us”, and the racially-tense “Black Vet.”

Transcript

Midnight ProbeSummary: Candice Bergen interviews sadistic kiwi trappers Dennis X (Dan Aykroyd) & Anthony Q (John Belushi).

AttractiveSummary: Chevy Chase and girlfriend Jaqueline Carlin don’t need to use products to be attractive to one another.

Note: This piece was edited out of a late-night classic rebroadcast on NBC in 2005.

Transcript

Trans American AirlinesSummary: A sadistic gentleman (Michael O’Donoghue) crank calls the receptionist (Laraine Newman) for Trans American Airlines.

Transcript

The MuppetsSummary: The Glig population is down to its last two, so Scred (Jerry Nelson) & Ploobis (Jim Henson) seek the advice of the Mighty Favog (Frank Oz) for a solution.

Practical JokesSummary: Reporting from a third world country, Candice Bergen plays practical jokes on its leader (John Belushi) during a controversial interview.

Black PerspectiveSummary: Garrett Morris interviews Jane Curtin, a white woman who passes herself off as am expert black female authoress.

Transcript

PongSummary: With only the Pong game screen in view as they play, Al Franken and Tom Davis discuss bringing the Al’s girlfriend home to meet his parents for Thanksgiving.

Esther Phillips performs “I Can Stand a Little Rain”Lyrics

GoodnightsNote: The cast joins the host on the stage for the Goodnights for the first time, a tradition that would last throughout the show’s run.

Transcript

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 4

75d: Candice Bergen / Esther Phillips

Trans American Airlines

Written by: Michael O’Donoghue

Man … Michael O’Donoghue
Receptionist … Laraine Newman

[Fade in on a dingy apartment house hallway. Abearded, bespectacled man in a cheap green jacketwalks calmly down a flight of stairs to a pay phone onthe opposite wall. He drops in a dime, dials a number,and leans against the wall, his face turned to thecamera. He waits expectantly as the phone rings. Longstrands of hair hang awkwardly over his left ear. In asplit-screen, the call is answered by a nicely-dressedreceptionist at an airport ticket counter. A sign behind herreads “Trans American Airlines.”]

Receptionist: [pleasantly professional, with a smile]Good evening. Trans American Airlines.

Man: [in a low voice, occasionally flashing aslight, psychotic grin] Do you know what I’d like todo to you, lady? I’d like to stick tacks in your neck.[her face slowly begins to fall] Then I’d like to takea chain saw and run it down your spine. Then I’d liketo throw garbage at your face. [by now, she isfrowning unhappily] Then I’d like to rent a truck,fill it full of scrap metal and park it on yourkneecaps. Then I’d like to hit you in the lungs with ashovel, throw more garbage at your face, and then I’dlike to lop off your thumbs with a grapefruit knife.Good-bye. [grins]

Receptionist: [pleasantly, with a forced smile]Good-bye, and thank you for calling TransAmerican.

[Both parties hang up: the man blissful and satisfied,the receptionist disturbed and uneasy. Dissolve to theapplauding audience in the Studio 8Hbalcony.]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 4

75d: Candice Bergen / Esther Phillips

Ambassador Training Institute

Husband … Dan Aykroyd
Wife … Laraine Newman
Pitchman … Andrew Duncan

[In a kitchen, a wife serves her husbanddinner.]

Husband: [disgruntled] Sandwiches againtonight?

Wife: You know I can’t stretch the foodbudget any further! Why don’t you get a betterjob?

[Through the magic of Chroma-Key technology, apitchman appears – superimposed over this kitchenscene – and addresses the camera.]

Pitchman: Are you stuck in a go-nowhere,do-nothing job? If so, this is your chance to start anexciting career in the world of internationaldiplomacy as an ambassador to a foreign country — byenrolling now at the Ambassador Training Institute.

[After a glimpse of the ATI logo (a shield with aneagle, a dollar bill, and a crossed knife and fork),we dissolve to stock footage of horse-drawn carriages,diplomats shaking hands, tables laden with food,etc.]

Ambassadors live in luxury and get to mingle withglamorous celebrities, royalty, and the social elite.And they don’t have to pick up after themselves.Ambassadors have a lot of prestige and influence. Theyput in long hours without working hard. And they’reoften the center of attention. And the food?Fantastic! Ambassadors dine on the finest gourmet foodat big fancy dinner parties in palaces, in embassiesand trade centers.

[Back to the pitchman.]

To see if you qualify for a career in diplomacy, takethis easy test, right now, in the privacy of your ownhome. Listen closely. You are having dinner with someforeign dignitaries and someone says somethinganti-American. You:

(A) Shoot him and create an internationalincident.

(B) Pretend you did not hear it and ask him to passthe sweet and sour shrimp.

You’d be surprised how many people say “A” — but ifyou said “B,” then you have the ability to make quickdecisions on your feet. When you enroll at AmbassadorTraining Institute, you’ll learn how to accept giftsgraciously, how to propose toasts. You’ll use phraseslike: “Delighted to see you again!” “I’ll ask theSecretary of State.” and “Pass the sweet and sourshrimp.”

Now, here’s how to get your free booklet. Just sendthree hundred thousand dollars and the name of thecountry to which you’d like to be ambassador to:Illegal Campaign Contributions, Ambassador TrainingInstitute, Mexico City, Mexico.

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 4

75d: Candice Bergen / Esther Phillips

Attractive

…..Chevy Chase
…..Jacqueline Carlin

[ open on attractive couple walking arm-in-arm through Central Park ]

[ they walk through a tunnel ]

[ they take a boat ride through the lagoon ]

[ they smile as they watch a passing parade ]

[ they grab a frankfurter from a cart vendor ]

[ they continue to stroll through the park arm-in-arm, smiling all the way ]

Announcer: Neither of these people use any commercial product to make themselves more attractive to each other.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: 1975-1976




Season 1: Order Now!

DVD Review

Starring:

Dan Aykroyd

John Belushi

Chevy Chase

George Coe (last: 10/18/75)

Jane Curtin

Garrett Morris

Laraine Newman

Michael O’Donoghue (last: 10/18/75)

Gilda Radner

Written by:

Anne Beatts

Chevy Chase

Tom Davis

Al Franken

Lorne Michaels

Marilyn Suzanne Miller

Garrett Morris

Michael O’Donoghue

Herb Sargent

Tom Schiller

Rosie Shuster

Alan Zweibel

Episodes

10/11/75: George Carlin / Billy Preston, Janis Ian

10/18/75: Paul Simon / Randy Newman, Phoebe Snow

10/25/75: Rob Reiner

11/08/75: Candice Bergen / Esther Phillips

11/15/75: Robert Klein / ABBA, Loudon Wainwright III

11/22/75: Lily Tomlin

12/13/75: Richard Pryor / Gil Scott-Heron

12/20/75: Candice Bergen / Martha Reeves, The Stylistics

01/10/76: Elliott Gould / Anne Murray

01/17/76: Buck Henry / Bill Withers, Toni Basil, The Blues Brothers

01/24/76: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore / Neil Sedaka

01/31/76: Dick Cavett / Jimmy Cliff

02/14/76: Peter Boyle / Al Jarreau

02/21/76: Desi Arnaz / Desi Arnaz, Jr.

02/28/76: Jill Clayburgh / Leon Redbone, The Singing Idlers

03/13/76: Anthony Perkins / Betty Carter

04/17/76: Ron Nessen / Patti Smith

04/24/76: Raquel Welch / Phoebe Snow, John Sebastian

05/08/76: Madeline Kahn / Carly Simon

05/15/76: Dyan Cannon / Leon & Mary Russell

05/22/76: Buck Henry / Gordon Lightfoot

05/29/76: Elliott Gould / Leon Redbone, Harlan Collins & Joyce Everson

07/24/76: Louise Lasser / Preservation Hall Jazz Band

07/31/76: Kris Kristofferson / Rita Coolidge

Summary   Lorne Michaels had a vision: to bring live late-night comedy/variety totelevision. NBC was playing reruns of “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” on Saturday nights, but wanted to feature new programming instead. And so, “Saturday Night Live” was born, albeit under the name “NBC’s Saturday Night”, since sportscaster Howard Cosell was already using the name for his prime-time comedy/variety show. To mock him even further, Michaels dubbed his cast members “The Not Ready For Prime Time Players”, after Cosell’s own “Prime Time Players”.

   Despite the overabundance of material for the first show (which included two musical guests, an Albert Brooks film, a Muppets piece and several commercial parodies), “SNL” found a vacancy in viewers’ eyes. As standard throughout the years that followed, “SNL” beat the competition, and the only thing to survive Cosell’s show was a young comedian named Billy Murray, who would join the successful NBC comedy program during its second season.

SNL Transcripts