Tag: Black Jeopardy

Black Jeopardy with Chadwick Boseman

Darnell Hayes… Kenan Thompson

Shanice… Leslie Jones

Rashad… Chris Redd

T’Challa… Chadwick Boseman

[Starts with Black Jeopardy intro]

Male voice: This is Black Jeopardy.

[Cut to the show stage. There’s one host and three contestants.]

[cheers and applause]

Darnell: Yeah. Hi. Wad up? Wad up? Wad up? Welcome to Black Jeopardy. The only Jeopardy where our prize is paid in installments. Alright, I’m your host Darnell Hayes. Today’s contestants Shanice.

Shanice: Hi.

Darnell: Rashad.

Rashad: What’s crackin?

Darnell: And, oh! This is so exciting. All the way from Wakanda, it’s T’Challa.

[cheers and applause]

T’Challa: Greetings Darnell. I am a big fan of this program.

Darnell: Well, this might be the blackest Black Jeopardy yet. Let’s take a look at that categories. Alright, we got “Grown ass”, “Ah Hell naw”, “Fid’na”, “Girl, bye”, “I ain’t got it”, and as always “White people.” Alright, Shanice, You are returning champ. You pick.

Shanice: Okay. Let’s go to “Aw hell naw” for $100.

Darnell: Okay, answer there. Your barber has a two hour wait, but there’s an empty chair up front.

[buzzer sound]

Rashad.

Rashad: What is, “Aw hell naw, there’s a reason your chair is empty.”

Darnell: You damn right. You damn right it is. You can end up looking like The Weeknd. Alright, Rashad, the board is your’s.

Rashad: Let’s go with “Fid’na” for $200.

Darnell: Okay, the answer. They fid’na to take prayer out of school.

[buzzer]

Shanice.

Shanice: What is, “They wonder why everybody pregnant?”

Darnell: Yes. Yes. Bad things happen when you kick Jesus out your house. That’s right. Alright, it’s your pick, Shanice.

Shanice: Let’s stick with “Fid’na” for $400.

Darnell: This is the reason your cable bill is in your grand mamma’s name.

[buzzer]

Oh, T’Challa.

T’Challa: What is, “To honor her as the as the foundation of the family.”

[audience laughing]

Darnell: Hmm, that’s really nice. It’s wrong. But it’s really nice. Anybody else? The reason your cable bill is in your grand mamma’s name.

[buzzer]

Shanice.

Shanice: What is, “Coz fid’na get a car and I don’t need all that on my credit.”

Darnell: I feel you. I feel you. Yeah, your grandma ain’t gonna need that good credit too much longer. Alright, Shanice, it’s your pick.

Shanice: Let’s go “I ain’t got it” for $200.

Darnell: Alright. The lady from Sallie Mae says your student loan is past due.

[buzzer]

Rashad.

Rashad: What is, “I ain’t got it because I died. You talking to a ghost.”

Darnell: Yeah. That’s right. That’s right. That’s right. Yeah. You can’t bill what’s not there, okay? Just ask Wesley Snipes. Ain’t that right, T’Challa?

T’Challa: I don’t know this one.

Darnell: That’s alright. You’ll get there. Alright, Rashad, it’s your pick.

Rashad: Am, let’s go with “Aw hell naw” for $400.

Darnell: Alright, the answer. The airline sys they wanna charge twenty-five dollars to check your bag.

[buzzer]

Shanice.

Shanice: What is, “Aw hell naw. Looks like I’m gonna fly to Jamaica with 50 pounds of suitcase in my lap.”

Darnell: You damn right. You damn right. That’s right. And I dare the stewardess to say something. That’s right. Let’s keep going.

Shanice: Let’s say with “Grown ass” for $600.

Darnell: Alright. You send your smart-ass child here ’cause she thinks she grown.

[buzzer]

T’Challa.

T’Challa: What is, “To one of our free university where she can apply her intelligence. And perhaps one day become a great scientist.”

Darnell: Okay. Well, the answer were were looking for was, “Out my damn house.” But you know what? I’m gonna give it to you, T’Challa. Y’all must not have no mean streets in Wakanda. Alright, the board is your’s.

T’Challa: Very well. Let’s go to “Ah hell naw” for $800.

Darnell: Okay. The policeman says there’s been some robberies in your neighborhood and asks if you have any information.

T’Challa: What is, “Not only do I tell this man what I know, but I also assist him in tracking down the offender. After all, our ministers of law enforcement are only here to protect us.” Is this correct?

[Darnell makes funny face]

Darnell: I mean, it should be. But I’m thinking you haven’t spent much time in America. Let’s just hear about today’s prizes. Johnny!

[Cut to Black Jeopardy prize listing]

Male voice: Thanks, Darnell. Today’s Black Jeopardy winner will receive Uesta Hold Margarine, personal plastic containers that used to hold margarine. “Put whatever you want in there.” And well done steaks. “If I see a speck of red, it’s going back. You better cook my food with well done steaks.” And by Sprite. “How did we become the black soda? We don’t know.” Back to you, Darnell.

[Cut to the game stage]

Darnell: Ooh! I do love Sprite. Alright, T’Challa, the board is your’s.

T’Challa: I am ready. Let’s go to “White people” for $400.

[Darnell is making shocked faces.]

Darnell: Okay, let’s try it. Your friend Karen brings her potato salad to your cookout.

[buzzer]

Oh-oh. T’Challa.

T’Challa: I think I’m getting the hang of this. Before I answer, a few questions. This woman Karen, she’s caucasian, right?

Darnell: Yes.

T’Challa: And she has her own recipe for potato salad, right?

Darnell: Yeah.

T’Challa: Ah! I understand. It is noble that she would volunteer to cook for everyone. And although I have never had potato salad…

Darnell: Of course.

T’Challa: … I sense that this white woman does not season her food.

Darnell: That’s right.

T’Challa: And if she does, it is only with a tiny bit of salt and no paprika.

Darnell: No paprika. No.

T’Challa: And she will probably add something unnecessary like resins.

Darnell: I know, right?

T’Challa: So, something tells me that I should say–

Darnell: Say it.

T’Challa: “Aw hell naw Karen. Keep your bland ass potato to yourself.”

Darnell: [celebrating] Yes! Yes! Whoo! Oh, man! You got it, T’Challa.

T’Challa: In the face.

Darnell: Yeah. Black Panther, welcome to Black Jeopardy.

Female voice: How many square feet is that?

Male voice: For three bedrooms?

Female voice: What a deal.

Darnell: Oh, well. The sound of white people shopping nearby for real estate means that the fun is over. So, let’s take a break. We’ll be right back with more Black Jeopardy.

Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks

Darnell Hayes… Kenan Thompson

Keeley… Sasheer Zamata

Shanice… Leslie Jones

Doug… Tom Hanks

[Starts with Black Jeopardy intro]

Announcer: This is Black Jeopardy.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes in the stage]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, wad up? Wad up, wad up, wad up? Welcome to Black Jeopardy, the only TV game show where the audience is in church clothes. I’m your host Darnell Hayes. Our contestants are Keeley.

[Cut to the contestants]

Keeley: Hi.

Darnell Hayes: Shanice.

Shanice: Okay now.

Darnell Hayes: And Doug.

[Doug is wearing Trump’s ‘Make America great again’ red hat]

Doug: How are you doing, sir?

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Oh, man! Doug, you sure you’re ready to play Black Jeopardy?

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: They told me a fellow can win some money, so let’s win some money. Get it done.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Well, I admire your confidence. Let’s see our categories. We got [cut to the game screen] ‘Big girls’, ‘Mm… I don’t know’, ‘You better’, ‘I’m gonna pray on this’, ‘they out here saying’, and as always, ‘white people’.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Okay, Keeley, you’re our returning champ. You pick.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Okay. Let’s do ‘you better’ for $200.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay, to answer there, you need hot sauce, duck sauce, soy sauce and safety pins. [buzzer sound] Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: What is ‘you better take your ass to the kitchen and look in the packet drawer’.

Darnell Hayes: Yeah. [Cut to Darnell Hayes] Yeah, the packet drawer, yeah. Ha-ha. Yeah, every kitchen’s got one. You know.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Okay, let’s stay with ‘you better’ for $400.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay, the answer, your job wants to take $40 a month out of your check for a 401K. [buzzer sound] Shanice.

[Cut to Shanice]

Shanice: What is, ‘you better give me that money so I can buy me some scratch offs’.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, you damn right. You dam right. I mean, why do I need a retirement plan when I got monopoly millionaire’s club?

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Yeah, I play that every week.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Well, that’s good for you. Okay, the board is your’s, Shanice.

[Cut to Shanice]

Shanice: Let’s go with ‘they out here saying’ for $200.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay, the answer, they out here saying, the new iPhone wants your trumbprint “for your protection”. [buzzer sound] Oh, okay then, Doug.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: What is, ‘I don’t think so. That’s how they get you.”

[Cut to t]

Darnell Hayes: Yes! [Darnell Hayes is surprised] Yes! That’s it.

[Cut to the contestants]

Keeley: Yes, I don’t trust that.

Shanice: Me neither.

Doug: I read that goes straight to the government.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Well, that is not bad, Doug. The board is your’s.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Well, let’s go to ‘mm… I don’t know’ for four.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay, the answer there, he says his dog doesn’t bite. [buzzer sound] Shanice.

[Cut to Shanice]

Shanice: What is, mm, I don’t know, he got teeth, Downey.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, that’s it. Anything with teeth, you know. Anything with teeth.

[Cut to Shanice]

Shanice: Let’s stick with ‘mm… I don’t know’ for six.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay. Caitlyn Jenner says she belongs to the cover of essence magazine. [buzzer sound] Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: What is, mm, I don’t know, you can’t do everything.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, yeah, that’s right. You know. I mean, there was a time.

Keeley: Absolutely.

[Cut to the contestants]

Doug: Oh yeah, I remember. Yeah.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Okay. Let’s go to ‘they out here saying’ for eight.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay. The answer there, they out here saying that every vote counts. [buzzer sound] Oh, Doug again.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: What is, come on, they already decided who wins, even ’fore it happens.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yes! Yes! Yes! Man, the illuminati figured that out months ago. That’s another one for Doug.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Okay, we’re doing it. Let’s try ‘they out here saying’  for six.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay. They out here saying, this movie doesn’t deserve an Oscar. [buzzer sound] Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: What is, Tyler Perry’s “Boo! A Madea Halloween”?

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, when that man puts on a moo-moo, I’m just transpoted.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: You know, I gotta tell you, I love those movies. I bought a box set at Walmart and if I can laugh and pray in 90 minutes, that is money well spent.

[Cut to everyone. Darnell Hayes walks to Doug]

Darnell Hayes: Oh, you know what, sir? I really appreciate you saying this. I like you.

[Darnell Hayes tries to shake his hands with Doug but Doug gets scared and puts his both hands up.]

No, no, it’s alright. It’s all good. [they shake their hands] It’s all good. Okay, yeah, yeah. It’s all good.

[Darnell Hayes walks back]

Darnell Hayes: Okay. Keeley, it’s your pick.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Let’s go to ‘you better’ for six.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay. The answer, the mechanic says you owe me $250 for new brake lines. [buzzer sound] Doug.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: What is, you better go to that dude in my neighborhood, he’ll fix anything for $40.

Darnell Hayes: Wow! You know Cecil?

Doug: Yeah, yeah. My Cecil’s name is Jim and he fixed my refrigerator, my air conditioner, and my cat.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah. Everybody’s got a guy. Wow, you alright, Doug. Oh! Let’s just take a moment in here about today’s prizes. Johnny!

[Cut to Black Jeopardy intro]

Announcer: Thanks, Darnell. Today’s Black Jeopardy winner will receive ‘The good chair’. Grandaddy needs somewhere to sit. Give him the good chair. And Car Tape. The best tape for fixing your car. Car Tape. It’s duck tape. Back to you Darnell.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Well, Doug, I don’t know what’s going on but the board is your’s.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Well, thank you so much Darnell. You people are fun. Can I say that? Is that okay?

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: [smiling] We’ll give you a pass this time.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Okay, let’s go to ‘big girls’ for $200.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell Hayes: Okay, the answer there, skinny women can do this for you. [buzzer sound] Doug.

[Cut to Doug]
Doug: What is, not a damn thing.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Yeah, you got it right. Yeah.

[Cut to the contestants. Keeley and Shanice are cheering for Doug]

Doug: My wife, she’s a sturdy gal.

Shanice: That is my man right there.

Darnell Hayes: Go Doug.

Darnell Hayes, Keeley and Shanice: Go Doug. Go Doug. Go Doug.

[banging sound]

Darnell Hayes: Oh! Oh! Oh! The sound of the broom hitting the ceiling below us means that the party has to stop. But, Doug. I have to say it has been a pleasure.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: Yeah, alright.

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: Alright well, let’s take a look at our final Jeopardy category, ‘lives that matter’.

[Cut to the audience. No one is pressing the buzzer and Keeley and Shanice is looking at Doug]

[smiling] Well, it was good while it lasted, Doug.

[Cut to Doug]

Doug: I know, I got a lot to say about this…

[Cut to Darnell Hayes]

Darnell Hayes: [interrupting] Yeah, I’m sure you do. When we come back, we’ll play our national anthem and just see what the hell happens. We’ll be right back.

[The End]

Black Jeopardy Drake

Darnell Hayes… Kenan Thompson

Amir… Jay Pharoah

Kaylee… Sasheer Zamata

Jared… Drake

[Starts with Black Jeopardy intro]

Male voice: This is Black Jeopardy.

[Cut to Darnell in his set]

Darnell: What up? What up? What up? Welcome to Black Jeopardy. The only jeopardy that shares a studio with Tavin Smiley. I’m your host, Darnell Hayes. And our contestants  today are Amir…

[Cut to Amir.]

Amir: What up, bro, bro?

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Kaylee…

[Cut to Kaylee]

Kaylee: Hi.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: And Jared…

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Yeah, it’s actually really good to be her dog. You know, like I couldn’t take the TTC. What man’s made it over anyway, so I’m excited dog.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: What’s going on with your accent there, Jared?

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Oh me? Well, I’m actually Canadian. I’m a Canadian. I’m from Toronto. But I’m ready. I came, I came to play. So let’s do this. All right.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Wait, you’re a black Canadian?

Jared: Obviously, dog. I mean like, yo, there’s thousands of us. I’m sure you’ve met a few of us before.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: [laughing] Nope. Never met one. Well, good luck to you. All right, let’s check out categories. We got [Cut to game screen] “If it’s Sunday”, “Oh, snap!”, “Bye Felicia!”, “Bruh…”, “In my house”, and as always, “White people”. Alright Amir, you’re all returning champ. You pick.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay. Let’s do “If it’s Sunday” for 200.

Darnell: All right. “If it’s Sunday, uncle Trey is going to be wearing this.”

[buzzer sound]

Amir.

Amir: What is this? A knee length easter suit

Darnell: Yeah. That’s it. Yeah. Long as hell. Long as hell, with a whole mess of buttons. Alright. Your pick, Amir.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay, okay, okay. Let’s go to “Oh snap!” for 200.

Darnell: Alright. “Oh snap! Is that your hair?”

[buzzers sound]

Kaylee?

Kaylee: What is, “It’s mine cause I bought it!”

Darnell: Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. Show them the receipt, you know. Alright. The board is yours, Keely.

[Cut to Kaylee]

Okay, let’s stay with, “Oh snap!” for 400.

Darnell: Alright. “Oh snap. I want to see his face when she finds him.”

[buzzer sound]

Amir.

Amir: Oh, who is Jay Z?

Darnell: Yeah. Right. I guess he got a hundred problems now. You pick, Amir.

Amir: Okay. [Cut to Amir] Cool, cool, cool. Let’s say with “Oh snap!” for 600.

Darnell: Okay. “Oh snap! This comedian was crazy in the 80s with his raw and delirious routines.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Oh, he’s hilarious. Dog. Who is Rick Maraniss?

Darnell: No! But, that’s a good try, Jared. Why don’t you try picking another category?

Jared: Alright the. Let’s go to “Bro” for 200.

Darnell: It’s “Bruh”. All right. The answer. “Bruh… He thought the best way to get that fame was to be a woman.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

Jared: Who is Caitlin Jenner?

Darnell: No. Have some respect for choice.

[buzzer sound]

Kaylee.

[Cut to Kaylee]

Kaylee: Who is Tyler Perry?

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: That’s it. I mean he did like eight movies in a house coat. Alright, the board is your’s, Kaylee.

[Cut to Kaylee]

Kaylee: Let’s stay with “Bruh…” for 400.

Darnell: Alright. “Bruh… He’s been playing for a while now, but he’s still putting up big numbers.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: This is easy. Who’s my man? Jaromir Yawger yo!

[Cut to Darnell]

You say Yama say what now?

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Come on, dog! He’s a hockey player. The man won the Art Ross trophy four years in a row, fam.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: J-J-Jared! I don’t know you speaking English, but it ain’t my English. The actual answer was dirt. The biscuit.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Come on, Darnell. Black people live all over the world. Gee. You can’t just put us all into one category like…

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Hey, maybe. So Jared, I’m going to go ahead and let you tell that to our American police. Let’s just hear about today. Francis Johnny!

[Cut to Black Jeopardy video bumper]

Male Voice: Thanks Darnell. Today’s black jeopardy winner will receive a month supply of topFoil. Your tupperware bowls don’t have lids? Put some top topfoil on. Stays secure for up to one day. And Oven Heat. Don’t drive up your electric bill. Use oven heat! The easy way to heat your home. Back to you, Darnell.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Yeah. Yeah. Use that oven heat. Alright, Jared. The board is still your’s.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Oh! Let’s go to “Oh snap!” for eight.

Darnell: Alright. “Oh snap. His new album just dropped and it’s fire.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

Jared: I got this. Who is OFA?

Darnell: Excuse me?

Jared:  Come on, fam! He’s a rapper. He was nominated for a Juno award, G.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: You know it’s like it landed here on earth from a spaceship. No, good rap comes from Canada. Okay? What about Drake? Dog! Who are these people you keep mentioning? Jared, I think Canada is messing up with your blackness.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Why do I have to be your definition of black? Huh? You’re judging me before you even know? It’s making me so angry inside dog!

[right answer bell ringing]

Darnell: You just said the secret black phrase of the day, Jared! You win the game. Alright. [music playing] Oh! Well the sound of slow jam means it’s time to wrap it up. Tune in next week where we give away two tickets to the Sister-Sister reunion show.

[The End]

White Contestant in Black Jeopardy

Darnell Hayes… Kenan Thompson

Amir… Jay Pharoah

Keeley… Sasheer Zamata

Alison… Elizabeth Banks

[Starts with Black Jeopardy intro]

Male voice: This is Black Jeopardy.

[Cut to the show set]

[cheers and applause]

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Alright. Wad up, wad up? Welcome to Black Jeopardy, the only jeopardy that’s produced entirely in cash. I’m your host Darnell Hayes. Our contestants are Amir.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Come on now, bro!

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Hi!

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: And Alison.

[Cut to Alison. She is a white woman.]

Alison: Thank you. So good to be here.

[Cut to Darnell. He checks his cards.]

Darnell: Um, Alison, you know this is Black Jeopardy, right?

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Oh yeah, I dated a black guy once. So, I don’t see color. It’s just Jeopardy to me.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Okay, we’ll see how that goes. Um, let’s check out our categories. We got…

[cut to the game screen]

“It ain’t like that”, “who’s try’na”, “I don’t know you!”, “shaking my head”, “what had happened was”, and as always “white people”.

[Cut to Darnell]

Amir, you’re a returning champ. You pick.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay, okay, cool. Let’s do “I don’t know you!” for $200.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay, the answer there… The cashier wants your phone number for a price plus card.

[Cut to the contestants. Amir presses the buzzer.]

Amir.

Amir: What is… “I don’t know you. You ain’t put me in the system.”

Darnell: That’s right. [Cut to Darnell] That’s right. Big brother, you know what I’m saying? Big brother. Go ahead Amir.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay, cool. Let me get “I don’t know you” for four.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay. The waiter wants to know if you got allergies.

[Keeley presses the buzzer]

Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: What is… “I don’t know you. If I’m itchy that’s my business.”

Darnell: You damn right. [Cut to Darnell] You damn right. What? I can’t even itch when I wanna? Come on!

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Right? Okay. Let’s stick with “I don’t know you”.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay, the answer… The man in the bus station says he needs to use your phone due to a personal emergency.

[Cut to the contestants. Alison presses the buzzer.]

Alison.

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: What is… “I don’t know you… or what you’ve been through. So, I have no right to judge your experience.”

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: No. Might be a long night for you, Alison. Keeley, still your pick.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Okay, let me get “Who try’na” for $200.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay. The answer… He try’a act like nothing happened.

[Amir presses the buzzer]

Amir

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Oh! Who is Jason PA Paul?

Darnell: Oh, you damn right. [Cut to Darnell] You damn right. Come on, man! Ain’t got no damn figures. What you think? We ain’t gonna notice. Ya’ll dead with a Gumby hat. Come on!

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Alright, let’s stick with “Why try’na”.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay. They try’na act like Jesus don’t exist.

[Keeley presses the buzzer]

Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: What is Starbucks?

Darnell: That’s it! [Cut to Darnell] That’s it! It’s a shame. It’s a shame.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Okay, let’s stay with “Who try’na” for $600.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay, the answer… After everything he did, he try’na act like he don’t owe us an explanation.

[Alison presses the buzzer]

Alison.

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Who is Bill Cosby?

Darnell: No. [Cut to Darnell] I’m sorry, but no. The answer was Tom Brady. Tired of him winning all the time. You know?

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Just as a white person, I’m not really sure how to answer these questions.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Oh, I’m sorry, you’re white? I don’t see color. Let’s just hear about today’s prizes. Johnny!

[Cut to Black Jeoprady prize video]

Male voice: Thanks Darnell. Today’s Black Jeopardy winner will receive a gift certificate to Leonard’s All White Menswear Palace. All whie suits in shades from eggshell to pearl! Be the head of your prom, funeral or NBA draft. Made for distinguished black men and a few fancy lesbians. Leonard’s All White Menswear Palace. And Long-Ass Wire. Now you can have cable television in every room of your house. It’s easy. With Long-Ass Wire. Back to you Darnell.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: I like that long ass wire. Okay, Amir. The board if your’s.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay, okay, okay. Um, let’s go with “What had happened was” for $400.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay, the answer there… Your lights went off.

[Keeley presses the buzzer]

Keeley.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: See, what had happened was, I was on my way to pay the bill and then I just didn’t.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Yeah, yeah. That happens. That happens.

[Cut to Keeley]

Keeley: Let’s stay with “What had happened was” for eight.

[Cut to the game screen]

Darnell: Okay. We were there. Where were you?

[Alison presses the buzzer]

Alison.

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Well, it just so happened…

[wrong answer buzzer]

Darnell: No. [Cut to Darnell] No.

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Okay, no. What happened in this particular case…

[wrong answer buzzer]

Darnell: No. I appreciate you trying though. Why don’t you go ahead and pick.

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Alright. Let’s do “It ain’t like that” for $800.

[Cut tot he game screen]

Darnell: Okay then.

[The game screen shows ‘Daily Double’]

Wow, looks like you got the video Daily Double. And you’re little behind Alison but you can catch up right here. Let’s see the clue.

[Cut to 5 standing in front of a painting.]

Speaker 5: What’s up? In 1943, an artist named Archibald Motley painted the picture behind me. My question is, after all these years who killed Tupac?

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Alison?

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Okay, I think I’m getting the hang of this. I’m gonna say, Tupac was killed by a corrupt justice system that threatens us all.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Oh, I’m sorry, but that was a trick question. The answer is that Tupac is still alive.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. He’s down in Cuba at the Illuminati Hotel. That’s where he at.

[Cut to the contestants]

Alison: It’s just… uh! Like, no matter what I do, I can’t win.

[right answer bell ringing]

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Yes! That is the blackest thing you said all day, Alison. All the points go to you.

[music playing]

Oh-oh! Well, the sound of the slow jam means it’s time to leave the party. So, we gonna take a break. When we come back, one of our contestants will win two tickets to Love & HipHop on Ice.

[Cut to Alison]

Alison: Oh! That sounds fun. What is that?

[The End]