Tag: Weekend Update

Weekend Update Jon Rudnitsky Dirty Dancing

Colin Jost

Jon Rudnitsky

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: Following the success of last week’s Greece live, rumors are now circulating about a possible Dirty Dancing Live starring Channing Tatum. Here to comment is our very own Jon Rudnitsky.

[Jon Rudnitsky slides in]

Jon Rudnitsky: Hey, Colin. How’s it going?

Colin Jost: Great! How are you Jon? What are your thoughts on Dirty Dancing Live?

Jon Rudnitsky: I don’t like it. Channing Tatum? [Cut to Jon Rudnitsky] Like, he needs to work? This is theatre on TV. A chance for a regular guy such as myself to truly shine.

[Cut to Jon Rudnitsky and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: You’re not a regular guy. I mean, you’re on SNL.

Jon Rudnitsky: Literally nobody knows that Colin. [Cut to Jon Rudnitsky] So, the producers of Dirty Dancing Live, before you make any casting decisions, you don’t wanna hold off because I have a brand new take on it.

[Cut to Jon Rudnitsky and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: I’m sorry. Are you wearing Patrick Swayze wig?

Jon Rudnitsky: Maybe. Don, hit the lights.

[The lights turns off and red dim lights is on.]

[music playing]

[Jon Rudnitsky climbs over the news desk and starts dancing like he’s dancing with someone]

Colin Jost: So Jon, have you seen Dirty Dancing?

Jon Rudnitsky: I have not.

Colin Jost: Jon Rudnitsky, everyone.

Weekend Update Derek Zoolander and Hansel

Colin Jost

Derek Zoolander… Ben Stiller

Hansel… Owen Wilson

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: This week was fashion week in New York city. Here to comment on the latest trends in men’s fashion, please welcome Derek Zoolander and Hansel.

[Derek Zoolander and Hansel slide in]

[cheers and applause]

Wow. You know, I gotta say, you guys look really great.

Derek Zoolander: Oh, no.

Hansel: You don’t have to say that.

Colin Jost: And now, tell us, what’s the latest from Fashion Week?

Hansel: No, no. Listen Colin, we’re not here to talk about fashion. We’re here to talk about the one thing everyone wants to hear male models talk about. Politics.

Colin Jost: Okay. Well, what specifically about politics?

[Cut to Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Hansel: Fashion.

[Cut to Colin Jost, Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Colin Jost: Have you been following the current candidates?

Derek Zoolander: Well, as you know [Cut to Derek Zoolander and Hansel] they just held the Iowa Kus-kus. Which I skipped because I don’t need carbs.

[Cut to Colin Jost, Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Colin Jost: Well, the big story was that Hillary Clinton won in Iowa.

[Cut to Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Hansel: Well you know, Hillary is from the 90s which are very hot right now.

Derek Zoolander: So hot.

Hansel: They remade the X-files and full house and I don’t know if you saw this on the news Tuesday, but OJ Simpson killed again.

Derek Zoolander: Hillary style reminds me of one of my old time fashion icons. Kim Jong Un. Not to name drop but I’m pretty good friends with his sister, Kim Kardashi-Un.

[Cut to Colin Jost, Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Colin Jost: Alright, and what about Bernie Sanders?

Derek Zoolander: Bernie is the champion of the 99%. Apparently, the 99% off the JC Fendi.

Hansel: Yeah, look at that suit. Hey, Chernobyl called. They want their disaster back.

Derek Zoolander: Yeah. And then Chernobyl called back and they were like, “Look at that suit!”

Hansel: You know, Bernie is getting lots of young people to vote. But remember kids, voting can be dangerous. One time I was voting and suddenly the booth came in on me. And I was falling and falling into the swirling vortex of light when suddenly I realized, Hansel, haven’t you been drinking Ayahuasca for six straight days? And couldn’t some of this maybe be in your head? And it was. Turns out I can’t even vote. I’m a felon.

Derek Zoolander: Cool story Hansel. Next, we got Tom Cruise. [Cut to picture of Ted Cruz] He has totally let himself go. This is a real Mission Impossible for a stylist.

Hansel: Makes me wanna keep my eyes wide shut!

Derek Zoolander: Yeah. He should take his top gun and do some risky business with a cocktail. Jerry McGuire.

[Cut to Colin Jost, Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Colin Jost: Guys, that’s not Tom Cruise. It’s Ted Cruz with a Z.

[Cut to Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Derek Zoolander: Zed Cruz? That isn’t even a name.

Hansel: Come on, Colin. Take it easy.

Derek Zoolander: Yeah. Why don’t you pop a xanax and chill like your buddy Lester Holt!

[Cut to Michael Che.]

[Cut to Colin Jost, Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Colin Jost: No, no. Alright, I hesitate to ask you guys this. What do you think of Trump?

Derek Zoolander: Oh, we love him.

[Cut to Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Hansel: OH yeah.

Derek Zoolander: Donnie’s just like us. He has the classic male model looks.

[Cut to Colin Jost, Derek Zoolander and Hansel]

Colin Jost: Male model like, you mean like, Lu Steel?

Derek Zoolander: Exactly. But Donnie had Orange Mocha Crapaccino. And this one’s called Hot Mess. And finally after Iowa, He’s got a new signature look, Second Place.

Colin Jost: Derek Zoolander and Hansel everyone. For Weekend Update I’m Colin Jost

Michael Che: I’m Michael Che. Goodnight.

Weekend Update 3

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of a KitKat at right top corner.]

Michael Che: A British woman is demanding a lifetime supply of KitKats after she bit into one of the candy bars and it didn’t have a wafer inside of it. And in response, KitKat has issued this statement.

[Picture changes to five KitKat bars arranged like showing a middle finger]

[Picture changes to Hellmann’s logo]

Hellmann’s has announced that it is releasing eggless vegan version of it’s mayonnaise. Hellmann’s is calling the product, Colin.

[Picture changes to Colin Jost]

[Cut to Colin Jost. There is picture of a bunch of pencils at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Uh, it’s his month.

Michael Che: Oh, man! That’s not nice dude! [laughing]

Colin Jost: A teenager in Nepal set a new world record by fitting more than a 130 pencils in his mouth, which is the same method they use to cast the latest season of the Bachelor. [Picture changes to TV show The Bachelor logo]

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of cheese at right top corner.]

Michael Che: Police in Wisconsin have uncovered more than $90,000 worth of stolen parmesan cheese. Apparently the thief was able to steal so much parmesan by never saying when.

[Picture changes to shredded cheese]

Weekend Update 2

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of Pizza Hut at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: In honor of 50th anniversary of the Superbowl, Pizza Hut is giving away pizza covered in edible gold. So kind of look like you won a giant gold metal in the Olympics of sadness.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a calendar marking February, 2016 at right top corner.]

Michael Che: This week marks the beginning of a lot of white news anchors telling you it’s Black History Month.

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: This week marks the beginning of Black History Month. Back to you Michael.

[Cut to Michael Che]

Michael Che: I never say why do people complain so much about Black History Month. It’s not like you actually have to do anything. There’s no test at the end of it. You don’t have to buy us a gift. There’s no tree. At the most, you gotta sit through a few MLK commercials. And who is so racist that when they watch 30 seconds of ‘I have a dream’, they’re thinking, “Play a white speech.” By the way, this year is a leap year. So there’s an extra day of Black History Month and I’m gonna use it to honor the 29th most important black person in history, [Picture changes to Scottie Pippen] Scottie Pippen.

[Picture changes to marijuana]

A California company has created a new marijuana based vaginal suppository to help women suffering from menstrual pain. And ladies, if you’re lucky, it might give your boyfriend the munchies.

[audience laughing]

[Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che]

It’s a thinking. [laughing]

Colin Jost: It’s not a thinker!

Weekend Update 1

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Weekend Update intro]

Announcer: It’s Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

[cheers and applause]

[Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che in their news set.]

Colin Jost: Good evening everyone.

Michael Che: Welcome to Weekend Update. I’m Michael Che.

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. And here are tonight’s top stories.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Republican’s logo at left top corner.]

Well, we have real actual breaking news here tonight. Less than an hour ago, the republicans held a presidential debate at New Hampshire and things got off to a real rocky start. Here is actual footage of Ben Carson’s entrance where the one thing he forgot to do was enter.

[Cut to video clip from Republicans presidential debate]

[Chris Christie walking]

Male voice: New Jersey governor, Chris Christie.

Female voice: Dr. Ben Carson.

[Ben Carso walks half way and stops]

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: Oh man! Of all people, you’d never expect Ben Carson to fall asleep at the wheel. But don’t worry. Look, he’s a neurosurgeon, he’ll figure things out.

[Cut to video clip of Ben Carson moving forward]

Male voice: Texas senator, Ted Cruz.

[Ben Carson stops again and looks behind at Ted Cruz walking and he lets him pass and he waits.]

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: Oh, my god! Oh, that was Ted Cruz as he has always been, very helpful to Ben Carson. I just loved that the stage hand waved at Ben Carson to get on the stage and Ben Carson just stared at him so long that even the stage hang just gave up. But don’t worry. While Dr. Carson was back there, he made a friend.

[Cut to video clip of Donald Trump and Ben Carson standing together]

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: Those two won’t even enter the debate. That’s how badly they want to be outsiders. But the ending– the ending, was my favorite part.

[Cut to Donald Trump and Ben Carson standing]

Female voice: Former Florida governor, Jeb Bush.

[Jeb Bush walks pass them]

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: What a great look from Jeb. And that is something you will never see again, Jeb Bush passing Donald Trump.

[Picture changes to Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton]

There was also a debate this week between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, which was hosted by MSNBC and broadcast at 500 decibels.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Donald Trump at right top corner.]

Michael Che: Donald Trump finished second in the voting between Ted Cruz and third place finisher Marco Rubio, turning Trump into what he loves the most, a lose surrounded by Hispanics.

[Picture changes to Donald Trump’s photo in the middle of Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio’s photos.]

[Picture changes to Barack Obama]

On his first visit to a US mosque, president Obama called on television producers to create Muslim characters that are not related to issues of national security. Although, Mr. President, if you really want to reach TV producers, say it at a Synagogue.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Ted Cruz and his wife.]

Colin Jost: Ted Cruz’s wife revealed that when he needs to relieve stress, Ted calls her and sings Broadway show tunes. It’s something most couple refer to as ‘Irreconcilable differences’. And by the way, if you’re wondering, Ted Cruz’s favorite musical is rent, because he loves how it depicts a young artist with New York values, dying without access to affordable healthcare.

Weekend Update Willie About Blizzard

Willie

Michael Che

[Starts with Michael Che in his set]

Michael Che: Winter is in full swing with the first snow storm of the season hitting the north east this weekend. And I for one am not thrilled about it. But here to cheer me up is the most optimistic guy I know, Willie.

[Willie slides in]

Willie: Ay! Well, happy blizzard, everybody! Don’t you just love it? I can’t wait to go home, wrap myself in a warm cozy blanket, grab a nice thick book and just start racking roaches.

Michael Che: Your apartment has that many roaches?

Willie: Well, squaders can’t be choosers, Michael! [Cut to Willie] It’s like the best removing crew said, “My god, there’s somebody alive in here.”

[Cut to Willie and Michael Che]

Michael Che: That’s terrible, dude!

Willie: But, what about all the fun things you can do with snow? The snow angels, making snow balls and all rock salts you can eat.

Michael Che: You eat rock salt?

Willie: We all eat rock salt Michael.

Michael Che: No we don’t, man. We don’t.

Willie: Are you sure?

Michael Che: How is this supposed to make me any better about the winter?

Willie: Well, sounds like somebody’s got the winter blues. [Cut to Willie] You know, whenever I get the winter blues and needs some cheering up, I like to dress up in a little doggie costume I made, and I volunteer down at the animal shelter.

Michael Che: That’s actually kind of sweet, man!

Willie: Well, it’s like they always say. “Nice try, but we’re not gonna put you down, Willie.”

[Cut to Willie and Michael Che]

Michael Che: Come on, man!

Willie: But you know who love blizzards? My old dog Lucias. [Cut to Willie] I remember one time, me and my brother took Lucias out on the frozen pond, but then the ice broke and I had to jump in the water and save old Lucias’s life. It’s like my mother always says, “You should have saved your brother, Willie.”

[Cut to Willie and Michael Che]

Michael Che: [laughing] Willie, everybody. For Weekend Update, I’m Michael Che.

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. Goodnight.

Weekend Update Leslie Jones on Leonardo DiCaprio

Colin Jost

Leslie Jones

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: ‘The Revenant’ is the number one film at the Box Office. Here with her review is our own Leslie Jones.

[Leslie Jones slides in]

Leslie Jones: Woo! Ha-ha! How are you doing, baby?

Colin Jost: Hi Leslie. So, what did you think of The Revenant?

Leslie Jones: I loved it. But more importantly, I realized something while watching it. I can have Leonardo DiCaprio.

Colin Jost: I’m sorry, what?

Leslie Jones: Don’t what me, you sexy ass blizzard. I just wanna plow you! That’s right. I, Leslie Jones can have Leonardo DiCaprio. Whoo! Feels good to say it. Ha-ha! [Cut to Leslie Jones] Before today, our relationship was like Inception. Leo inside Leslie inside a dream. But soon it won’t be a dream, Colin. Coz I’m gonna lock his pretty Aviator ass down for keeps.

[Cut to Leslie Jones and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: Hold on. Are you planning to kidnap him?

Leslie Jones: I’m sorry. My ears can’t hear jealousy, Jost! I know you dream about being duck-taped in my trunk. But I don’t need to kidnap DiCaprio to keep him.

Colin Jost: Okay, so what do you have that all the women who’ve dated Leo don’t?

Leslie Jones: In a word, everything. [Cut to Leslie Jones] Leo, I’m just gonna talk to you right now. [looking at the camera] Hi, Leo. I’m Leslie Jones and I’m a funny bitch. With her own place, great job, and I understand most of your movies. And I’m crazy good in bed. I even make you a ham sandwich after sex. [Cut to Leslie Jones and Colin Jost] You ever had a ham sandwich after sex, Jost?

Colin Jost: I can’t say I have.

Leslie Jones: Yeah. I know you ain’t. All the women you and Leo date ain’t got nothing in a refrigerator but food, water and kombucha juice.

Colin Jost: Kombucha?

Leslie Jones: Kombucha.

Colin Jost: Hold on. Your secret to getting Leo is a ham sandwich?

Leslie Jones: Yeap! And I’m not talking about that cheap ass lunch meat either. [Cut to Leslie Jones] I’m talking about the ham that you put into oven with the pineapples. And while you in the bathroom washing your junk off in the sink, I’ll already be in the kitchen butt naked cutting hams singing,

Leo, do you want some mustard!
on your ham sandwich
on your ham sandwich

Not that cheap ass yellow mustard either that you gotta shake coz the other thing comes out first. I’m talking about that fancy mustard that the white people be eating in a back of their Rolls Royce.

[Cut to Leslie Jones and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: Wait a–

[Cut to Leslie Jones]

Leslie Jones: See, I know what no other women knows, Leo. Leo, you need a lady that can make you laugh! Coz while anyone of them other little pretty bitches can give you an orgasm, I’m the only woman that can give you a laugh-gasm.

[Cut to Leslie Jones and Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: And can I ask what is a laugh-gasm?

Leslie Jones: Oh! Look who’s all interested now that I’m with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Colin Jost: Come on. That’s not it. You’re not with him.

Leslie Jones: Oh! Always the way. Well, if you must know, he would definitely experience something like this.

[showing the laugh-gasm reaction.]

And when I’m done with him, his lips won’t be the only thing that checked. That’s for damn sure.

Colin Jost: Okay right. So, you mean his penis.

Leslie Jones: Of course I’m talking about his penis, Colin. What you think?

Colin Jost: Alright, my bad! Leslie Jones, everyone!

Leslie Jones: That’s DiCaprio Jones baby. Call me Leo.

Colin Jost: Do not call her.

Weekend Update 2

Colin Jost

Michael Che

Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with Michael Che on his news set. There’s a picture of Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton on right top corner.]

Michael Che: A new poll in New Hampshire shows that Bernie Sanders is leading Hillary Clinton 60% to 33, said at Clinton Stafford just before being force choked.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Peeps at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: The makers of Peeps have launched a new online campaign to attract millennial mothers. Oh, sure, but when I try to attract millennial mothers I’m disrupting a Lamaze class.

[Picture changes to Khloe Kardashian]

Khloe Kardashian revealed that she recorded a sex tape with her now ex husband Lamar Odom, or as Kardashians call that, first base.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of snow blizzard in New York city at right top corner.]

Michael Che: Alright, let’s check in again with the conditions outside with your friend who always says, “It’s not that bad.” How does it look?

[Cut to Bobby Moynihan frozen in the blizzard]

Hey, man! Are you okay? Hey, you okay man? Alright, cut the feed.

[Cut to Michael Che]

I guess it was that bad.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of a calendar marked at 24th January at left top corner.

Colin Jost: Today was national compliment day. [pause] Dad.

[Picture changes to few cats and California map]

A California woman has turned her 12 acre ranch into a home for more than 1,000 cats. Reached for comment, her husband left 10 years ago.

Weekend Update 1

Colin Jost

Michael Che

Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with Weekend Update intro]

Announcer: It’s Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

[cheers and applause]

[Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che in their news set.]

Michael Che: Good evening everyone.

Colin Jost: Welcome to Weekend Update. I’m Colin Jost.

Michael Che: I’m Michael Che. And here are tonight’s top stories.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of snow blizzard in New York city at right top corner.]

As a result of the massive blizzard that has hit the east coast, the officials have banned cars from the road, shut down half the subway lines and advised everyone to remain at home. The one guy ignoring these warnings, my boss. [Picture changes to Lorne Michaels] Yay!

[Picture changes to snow blizzard in New York city]

New York mayor Bill De Blasio said with winter storm Jonas expected to dump 20 inches of snow, New York city is in “Uncharted Territory.” But not everyone agrees. On location with report is your friend who always says it’s not that bad.

[Cut to Bobby Moynihan reporting in the blizzard]

How’s it going out there, man?

Bobby Moynihan: Hi everybody.

Michael Che: How is it?

Bobby Moynihan: Seriously dude, it’s not that bad.

[Cut to Michael Che]

Michael Che: Well, there you have it. I guess it’s not that bad.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Sarah Palin and Donald Trump at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Good to know. This week, Sarah Palin formally endorsed Donald Trump for president. Either that or she saw an open microphone and decided to say all the words she knew in random order.

[Picture changes to Donald Trump]

In  rally in Iowa today, Donald Trump spoke about how loyal his supporters are and this is what he said.

[Cut to Donald Trump speaking at the podium]

Donald Trump: Stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay? It’s like, incredible.

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: I mean, what are you doing here, man! You’re bragging that your supporters love you so much, they’re okay with you just murdering for sport? You know that’s not what a president does, right? You’re not running for president of Hunger Games. I mean between that and this and Sarah Palin’s endorsement, I’m starting to think Trump is just seeing how crazy he can go. Like a velociraptor testing the fences at Jurassic Park. Coz if Trump escapes and becomes president, hold onto your butts. [Picture changes to Samuel L. Jackson from Jurassic Park.]

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Donald Trump at right top corner.]

Michael Che: And is Trump seriously just now realizing that his supporters are a bunch of window licking water heads? Donald, you are talking to the craziest people in the country. You could literally take off your shoe mid speed hold it up to your hear, say you’re getting a call from Batman and they’d be quiet until you hung up your shoe.

[Picture changes to Oscar award]

The producers of this years Oscars are reportedly trying to find black presenters to counter the boycott by black actors. So the Oscars are solving racism by making black people to present white people with gold.

[Picture changes to Jada Pinkett Smith, Tyrese Gibson and Snoop Dogg]

Other black celebrities boycotting the Oscars including Jada Pinkett Smith, Tyrese Gibson and Snoop Dogg. You know, boycott is a very strong word for not attending a party you were never invited to. That’s like the Jets boycotting the Superbowl. [audience yelling ‘boo’] Okay, let’s not say boycott. Let’s just say took the hint. I’m not watching anyway. The Oscar ceremony is so long and white and boring, it may actually win an Oscar. The only part I will watch is the one black guy [Picture changes to Chris Rock] but probably like three hours after it airs and on World Star Hip Hop. And if you don’t know what that is, you probably saw [Picture changes to a cover picture of a movie ‘Brooklyn’.] Brooklyn. There’s nothing more infuriating to Spike Lee than nominating a movie called ‘Brooklyn’ starring only white people. That’s just rubbing it in.

Weekend Update Pete Davidson on Gun Law

Colin Jost

Pete Davidson

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: President Obama has said that he will sign the executive order mandating universal background checks for gun purchases which many in congress oppose. With more on this is our own Pete Davidson.

[Pete Davidson slides in]

Pete Davidson: Thanks Colin. Hi buddy. I don’t understand–

[Someone from the audience hooting]

[Cut to Pete Davidson]

Oh, thank you lady. I don’t understand why anyone would be against background checks. You know? I wish I did a background check on my roommate. I might have found out that he gets his hair cuts in the living room. Or that he uses my toothbrush to clean his toothbrush. I actually saw a show that it said like, ‘The bait was reopened about whether mentally ill people should be able to own guns’ which I didn’t know was debatable. One guy even said like, “I don’t think the founding fathers wanted the people to lose their rights just because they had a mental illness”, which I guess sounds like it makes sense until you remember we’re talking about the 1700s when the most popular treatment for schizophrenia was like, fire. Just lots of fire. They didn’t have lexapro. As if that wasn’t weird enough, Texas just passed a law allowing people to carry guns into mental institutions. That’s a real thing. Not like joke that we wrote. That happens now.

Here’s a fun fact about me. When I was a kid, I was pretty depressed and I spent some time in a mental institution twice. So far… And I’ll be back. Oh, yeah. And I learned two things. One, the craziest guy there gets the control of the TV. His name was two-eyed Willie.

[Cut to Colin Jost and Pete Davidson]

Colin Jost: Wait a second. Why did they call him two eyed Willie?

Pete Davidson: They weren’t his. And second, [Cut to Pete Davidson] none of those people including me should ever be allowed near a gun. I cannot believe they let me drive. Every time I get behind the wheel, I’m like, “Wow, somebody really dropped a ball here.” It’s awesome. If I own the gun, I’d have to guy a new TV every time the Knicks lost. The reason Obama is going straight to an executive order is coz congress refused to even pass a law banning people on the no fire-list from buying the gun. But shouldn’t the gun list be the stricter list? That means somebody out there is being told like, “Sorry sir. Um, we don’t trust you to fly to Cleveland but if you wanna buy this assault rifle and take the bus…” They don’t have security on the bus, man. It’s just the driver who might like turn around once in a while and be like, “Ay! Stop!”

[Cut to Colin Jost and Pete Davidson]

Colin Jost: Pete Davidson, everyone!