Jerry Maguire II Jonathan Lipnicki (Horatio Sanz) has put on wight since first movie.
Hardball Molly Ivins (Zelwegger) is ridiculed by Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond). Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Paul Begalia.
A Wedding Story Bride (Zelwegger) regrets being engaged to leader of KISS cover band (Will Ferrell).
TV Funhouse “Survivor” endures “Fun With Real Audio” treatment.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey Jacob Silj (Will Ferrell) still suffers from voice immodulation. Jimmy Fallon reviews “The Producers”. Recurring Characters: Jacob Silj.
Eve & Gwen Stefani perform “Let Me Blow Ya Mind”
TV Theme Songs Woman (Zelwegger) doesn’t find date’s (Chris Kattan) TV theme songs romantic.
Crazy Doctor Dr. Beaman (Will Ferrell) makes his patients uncomfortable with crazy behavior. Recurring Characters: Dr. Beaman.
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: May 19th, 2001 Christopher Walken Weezer Kevin Nealon Winona Ryder
Weezer, “Hash Pipe”
A Message From Mayor Rudolph Guiliani Mayor Rudolph Guiliani (Darrell Hammond) hides mistress (Rachel Dratch). Recurring Characters: Mayor Rudolph Guiliani.
Hardball Paul Begalia (Chris Kattan) still harassed by Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond). Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Paul Begalia.
The Continental The Continental (Walken) spies on upstairs neighbor with periscope. Recurring Characters: The Continental.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey Chris Kattan gives terrible re-enactment of Joey Fatone injury. Kevin Nealon delivers subliminal editorial about current cast. Jimmy’s glasses, pregnant Winona Ryder all part of “Weekend Update” cliffhanger.
Weezer performs “Hash Pipe”
Love-ahs Roger (Will Ferrell) & Virginia (Rachel Dratch) reminisce with friend (Walken). Recurring Characters: Roger, Virginia.
TV Funhouse “Anatominals” cause Lorne Michaels to rethink pact with Satan.
Saturday Night Live Transcripts Season 26: Episode 12 ]]>
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:
February 17th, 2001 Sean Hayes Shaggy None Michael Schur A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) announces that he performed a strike on Iraq as a personal favor to keep former President Clinton’s scandal out of the news. Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush. Transcript
Montage
Sean Hayes’ MonologueSummary: Sean Hayes plays a grade school piece on the piano while signing autographs from the audience and taking a cell phone call from a friend. Transcript
Delicious DishSummary: Margaret Jo McCullin (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) envision a psychadelic high after sampling mushrooms from guest Alfie Thuman (Sean Hayes). Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullin, Teri Rialto. Transcript
HomocilSummary: The pill that helps parents cope with their children’s homosexuality. Transcript
HardballSummary: Paul Begala (Chris Kattan) suffers abuse from Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond). Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Paul Begala. Transcript
Jeffrey’sSummary: A pair of trendy clothing store employees (Jimmy Fallon, Sean Hayes) mock the clothing styles of would-be customers. Recurring Characters: Clerk, Supervisor, Burly Customer. Note: This sketch is replaced with its dress rehearsal version in repeats because of the frequent character-breaking and laughter by the actors involved. Transcript
Shaggy performs “It Wasn’t Me”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Jamie Bell (Sean Hayes), the kid From “Billy Elliot”, is pissed that he wasn’t nominated for an Academy Award, then dances his way through the studio. Transcript
Hello DollySummary: More cute yet bizarre-looking dolls are up for adoption. Recurring Characters: Deana Nolan-Gray. Transcript
Fashion Week 2001Summary: Adrian Dante’s (Sean Hayes) fashion show is interrupted by would-be diva, Sally O’Malley (Molly Shannon). Recurring Characters: Sally o’Malley. Transcript
Shaggy performs “Angel”
Action News 4 Morning ReportSummary: Hilarity ensues when a tractor-trailer hits a tiny clown car! Transcript
Last Show!Summary: Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) sings “School’s Out” to commemorate Molly Shannon’s last show. Recurring Characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher. Transcript
Brian Fellow’s Safari PlanetSummary: Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) lives in a world that exists inside his own head. Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow. Transcript
Corn Chip Nail TipsSummary: The tasty snack food of choice for nail biters. Note: Repeat from 10/07/00.
Talkin’ ‘Bout ‘GinasSummary: Second-rate female celebrities attempt to feed from the success of “The Vagina Monologues.” Recurring Characters: Joan Rivers, Anna Nicole Smith, Farrah Fawcett, Gayle King Transcript
Saturday Night Live Transcripts Season 26: Episode 4 ]]>
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:
November 4th, 2000 Charlize Theron Paul Simon None Hugh Fink A Glimpse of Our Possible Future ISummary: In the near future, a hapless President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) has managed to set the Great Lakes on fire. Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush. Transcript
Montage
Charlize Theron’s MonologueSummary: Tracy Morgan is thrilled that Charlize Theron was born in Africa. Transcript
Total Request LiveSummary: An interview with Britannica (), Jeanette () and (), the members of girl group Gemini’s Twin. Recurring Characters: Britannica, Jeanette.
A Glimpse of Our Possible Future IISummary: In the near future, President Al Gore quizzes the nation on a regular basis.. Recurring Characters: Al Gore, Bill Clinton. Transcript
Marilyn MonroeSummary: A jealous Joe DiMaggio (Jimmy Fallon) doesn’t want anyone staring at wife Marilyn Monroe (Charlize Theron) during the filming of “The Seven Year Itch.”
Paul Simon performs “Hurricane Eye”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Rachel Dratch proposes marriage to Jimmy Fallon. SNL writer Hugh Fink talks about Joe Lieberman as a Jew.
Bedtime StoriesSummary: Mr. Peepers (Chris Kattan) stars on the Cinemax adult program. Recurring Characters: Mr. Peepers.
A Glimpse of Our Possible Future IIISummary: In the near future, Ralph Nader’s term as president is a sign that pigs can fly and Hell has frozen over. Transcript
DeMarco BrothersSummary: Paul Simon endures an overinterpreted demonstration of his songs by DeMarco Brothers Kyle (Chris Kattan) and Sean (Chris Parnell). Recurring Characters: Kyle DeMarco, Sean DeMarco.
The Coconut Bangers BallSummary: Robert Goulet (Will Ferrell) promotes his new rap album. Recurring Characters: Robert Goulet. Transcript
Paul Simon performs “Old”
Buena Vista Social ClubSummary: The horny members of the Buena Vista Social Club (Jerry Minor, Horatio Sanz) try to dance erotically with a hot blondie (Charlize Theron). Transcript
Saturday Night Live Transcripts Season 26: Episode 14 ]]>
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos: Bit Players:
March 10th, 2001 Conan O’Brien Don Henley None Max Weinburg Becky Weinburg Ben Affleck Scott Wainio A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) Bush announces his new worry-free attitude. Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush. Transcript
Montage
Conan O’Brien’s MonologueSummary: Conan O’Brien shows clips of his writer’s cameo appearances from the 80’s, then takes Tract Morgan and a paramedic (Scott Wainio) downstairs for a tour of his talk show studio. Transcript
SubshackSummary: If you’re losing weight too fast, take a walk with Jared Fogel (Jimmy Fallon) to Subshack to put the pounds back on. Transcript
Cumberland FarmsSummary: With a little help from Eric Pearson (Conan O’Brien) and a fake moustache, Sully (Jimmy Fallon) and Denise (Rachel Dratch) score some beer. Note: Ben Affleck’s character did not appear in the dress rehearsal. Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank, Donny Bartalotti. Transcript
Moleculo: The Molecular ManSummary: Superhero Moleculo (Conan O’Brien) gives himself away by repeating his catch-phrase while assuming his mild-mannered disguise. Transcript
Napster HearingsSummary: Not only is Right Said Fred (Conan O’Brien) seeking copyright protection, he would also like a little something to eat. Recurring Characters: Trent Lott, David Lee Roth. Transcript
Don Henley performs “Everything Is Different Now”Also Performed: 89d.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeyNote: Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey perform “Weekend Update” without any guest commentaries. Transcript
Taint-less TedSummary: A doctor (Conan O’Brien) informs patient Ted Brown (Horatio Sanz) that he’s lost his “taint”. Transcript
TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel invites viewers to “Find the Black People At The Knicks Game.” Transcript
VH-1 Diva-thonSummary: Diva Deandra Wells (Ana Gasteyer) causes a ruckus among the members of her back-up band. Recurring Characters: Deandra Wells, Grodon Davis, Alan “Sticks” McRae, Donny Gordon, Lynda Lopez.
Democratic National CommitteeSummary: Marc Rich (Chris Kattan) discusses his financial woes.
Don Henley performs “The Heart Of The Matter”Note: When NBC reran the episode, this performance was replaced by a DeMarco Brothers sketch cut from dress rehearsal.
Sports CenturySummary: Early 20th Century boxer James “The Gentlemen Masher” Corcoran (Conan O’Brien) excelled at his sport until he agreed to spar with black competitors. Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts DeMarco BrothersSummary: Kyle DeMarco (Chris Kattan), Sean DeMarco (Chris Parnell) and their cousin (Conan O’Brien) audition for Don Henley. Recurring Characters: Kyle DeMarco, Sean DeMarco. Note: This sketch aired in place of Don Henley’s second performance when the episode reran.
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: November 18th, 2000 Tom Green David Gray Drew Barrymore Tom’s parents
David Gray, “Babylon”
A Message from George W. Bush and Al Gore Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) interrupts George W. Bush’s (Will Ferrell) speech. Recurring Characters: Al Gore, George W. Bush.
Tom Green’s Monologue Drew Barrymore promises to marry Green at the end of the show.
Hardball Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) makes fun of Katherine Harris (Ana Gasteyer). Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Katherine Harris.
Dog Show Wizard’s (Green) squealing pig ruins sanctimony of show. Recurring Characters: Miss Colleen, David Larry.
TV Funhouse “Sex In The Country” shows barn animals having sex.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey Jeannie Darcy (Molly Shannon) performs stand-up. Gwyneth Paltrow reveals she’s living with Jimmy Fallon. Recurring Characters: Jeannie Darcy.
David Gray performs “Babylon”
Oprah Dr. Phil (Will Ferrell) fixes marital problems on Oprah’s (Maya Rudolph) show.
VH-1 Storytellers Air Supply’s Thanksgiving song erupts into a homosexual kiss.
Saturday Night Live Transcripts Season 26: Episode 3 ]]>
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:
October 21st, 2000 Dana Carvey The Wallflowers None Baha Men Adam McKay Robert De Niro Third Presidential DebateSummary: In their first debate monitored by Jim Lehrer (Chris Parnell), Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) and George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) take questions at a town hall forum. Recurring Characters: George W. Bush, Al Gore, Jim Lehrer, George Bush. Transcript
Montage
Dana Carvey’s MonologueSummary: Dana Carvey does impressions of current political figures in the news. Transcript
Magic MouthSummary: Dr. Richard Ludwin (Will Ferrell) promotes the product masks your farts with electronic dialogue.
Delicious DishSummary: Disgruntled teacher Gordon Hoover (Dana Carvey) tells Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) and Margaret Jo McCullin (Ana Gasteyer) about his neighborhood Halloween funhouse. Recurring Characters: Teri Rialto, Margaret Jo McCullin. Transcript
Church ChatSummary: The Church Lady (Dana Carvey) taunts Hillary Clinton (Ana Gasteyer), Anne Heche (Chris Kattan) and Eminem (Chris Parnell). Recurring Characters: Church Lady, Hillary Clinton, Anne Heche, Eminem. Transcript
Father & Son Go HuntingSummary: While hunting together in the woods, George Bush (Dana Carvey) tries to teach George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) a new life lesson. Recurring Characters: George Bush, George W. Bush. Transcript
Baha Men perform “Who Let the Dogs Out”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Anna Nicole Smith (Molly Shannon) discusses her golddigging university. In a filmed report, Adam McKay takes to the night streets to find the average citizen’s view on the election. Robert De Niro disagrees with Jimmy Fallon’s “Meet The Parents” review from last week’s broadcast. Recurring Characters: Anna Nicole Smith. Transcript
The Wallflowers perform “Sleepwalker”Also Performed: 96e.
2000 VH-1 Vogue Fashion AwardsRecurring Characters: Cuba Gooding, Jr., Samuel L. Jackson.
Ching ChangSummary: Ching Chang (Dana Carvey) dreams of putting his house pet chickens in a Broadway musical. Recurring Characters: Ching Chang.
Saturday Night Live Transcripts Season 26: Episode 2 ]]>
Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:
October 14th, 2000 Kate Hudson Radiohead None Nomar Garciaparra Second Presidential DebateSummary: In their second debate monitored by Jim Lehrer (Chris Parnell), Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) and George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) agree on all the issues. Recurring Characters: George W. Bush, Al Gore, Jim Lehrer.
Montage
Kate Hudson’s MonologueSummary: Kate Hudson is reunited with the other children of former “Laugh-In” stars.
Girls Gone Wild!Summary: During a visit home from college, a co-ed (Kate Hudson) is horrified when her parents (Will Ferrell, Molly Shannon) recognize her on a commercial for an X-rated Spring Break video. Transcript
TV FunhouseSummary: Robert Smigel present the X-Presidents.
Inside The Actors StudioSummary: James Lipton (Will Ferrell) interviews the delightful Drew Barrymore (Kate Hudson). Recurring Characters: James Lipton, Drew Barrymore. Transcript
Boston TeensSummary: Sully (Jimmy Fallon) is excited when he discovers that his older sister (Kate Hudson) is dating Nomar! Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank. Transcript
Radiohead performs “The National Anthem”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Jimmy Fallon reviews “Meet The Parents” by repeating the title as a catch phrase. President Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) doesn’t fancy Al Gore or George W. Bush as his worthy successor. Recurring Characters: President Bill Clinton. Transcript
WoodrowSummary: Kate Hudson is enchanted by the sewer home of Woodrow the bum (Tracy Morgan). Recurring Characters: Woodrow. Transcript
Meet The PressSummary: Tim Russert (Darrell Hammond) makes Hillary Clinton (Ana Gasteyer) out to be a fool. Recurring Characters: Tim Russert, Hillary Clinton. Transcript
Rabun To ShuriSummary: The Japanese version of “Laverne & Shirley.” Transcript
Vote Sober 2000Summary: A friendly reminder from the cast to not vote while intoxicated. Transcript
Gatorade Love Bucket Show your appreciation for loved ones by dumping Gatorade over their heads.
Jackie Gives Attitude Jackie (Maya Rudolph) makes frequent fliers wait on broken metal detector. Recurring Characters: Jackie, Terrell.
Janet Reno’s Dance Party Final episode includes surprise visit from the real Janet Reno. Recurring Characters: Janet Reno, Bill Clinton.
Rap Street Aaron Carter (Suvari) displays innocent rhymes. Recurring Characters: Grand Master Rap, Kid Shazaam.
TV Funhouse X-Presidents endure adding Bill Clinton to their team.
Wake Up Little Suzie Suzie (Suvari) attracts a suitor (Tracy Morgan) while in a coma.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey Jacob Silj suffers more voice immodulation humiliation. Al Sharpton (Jerry Minor) makes Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) discuss love child. Recurring Characters: Jacob Silj, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson.
Lenny Kravitz performs “Again”
Veronica & Co. More runway fashion talk. Recurring Characters: Veronica.
DeMarco Brothers Lenny Kravitz tolerates brothers’ song interpretation stylings. Recurring Characters: Kyle DeMarco, Sean DeMarco.
Air Date:
Eve, “Who’s That Girl?”
Weezer, “Hash Pipe”
A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) announces that he performed a strike on Iraq as a personal favor to keep former President Clinton’s scandal out of the news.
David Gray, “Babylon”
Bon Jovi, “It’s My Life”
Lenny Kravitz, “Again”