The guy… Alex Moffat[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: Well with COVID restrictions relaxing, many Americans are planning to travel abroad this summer. Here with his tips for romantic international getaways is a guy who just bought a boat.[The guy slides in] [cheers and applause]
The guy: Bonjour Co-Jo. Molto bellissima. Guess who’s got two tickets to bump and thighs Yes.
Colin Jost: All right, man. I’m already regretting this, but let’s hear some of your travel tips.
The guy: You gotta Co-JJ. Now let’s talk best plays to get the best lays on vacays, okay? Take your new girl to the old world. The South of France is perfect for mouth in pants. And if a nude beach is an appealing feat, head down to the French riviera to see knees cans. Soon she’ll want you to be like Napoleon and bone her parts. I have a small penis. But don’t just stay in France amigos, as many women have told me you’ve actually got to move around down there. So hop a train. Euro rail is your ticket to Euro tail. So many choice stops, maybe try Berlin to rail her in. And before you know it, you’ll be exploring her black forest and she’ll be moaning in your ear “This is the worst thing to ever happen in Germany.”
Colin Jost: Oh my god. Come on, man.
The guy: Oh yeah. Come on, I shall. Now if you don’t want to be an Algo Americano, you got to blend in with the low calls Jost. So grab a guidebook and remember, Rick Steves leads to slick bebes. And there’s nothing scarier than a language barrier, a little Duolingo and you’ll be doing Lingus. [foreign language] Mi jamon es muy pequeñito.
Colin Jost: Your ham is tiny?
The guy: Si, abuelita. Speaking of small servings, head to Barcelona and sample the local tap ass or bounce over to the Amalfi, Jost. We’re talking Italy, okay? And to get your bologna into some pussa-tano, don’t forget about her Naples, if you want her to gobble goo.
Colin Jost: Hh my god.
The guy: We made it.
Colin Jost: Some people are like, visibly sick. Why would any woman want to be with you?
The guy: Well, I have to admit Co-Jo, I have driven many lady to the Isle of Lesbos.
Colin Jost: Oh, man.
The guy: In my boat Colin.
Colin Jost: Oh, yeah. Guy had just bought a boat everyone.[cheers and applause]