Sherman Bell… Kenan Thompson
Katie Williams… Cecily Strong
Beth Bennington… Punkie Johnson
Todd Baxter… Andrew Dismukes
Riley Cole… Kieran Culkin[Starts with show intro]
Female voice: You’re watching Wake up Rhode Island.[Cut to Sherman Bell and Katie Williams in their set]
Sherman Bell: Good morning, folks. Sherman Bell alongside Katie Williams.
Katie Williams: Coming up, we’ll hear from Beth Bennington who is down at Cohassett beach with an Eagle Scout on an important mission.[Cut to Beth Bennington. She is standing with scout members]
Beth Bennington: That’s right, Katie. This is Todd Baxter. And Todd, tell us what we’re doing down here.
Todd Baxter: Well, myself and these boy scouts will be picking up trash at the beach all day, right guys?
Boy Scouts: Yeah.
Sherman Bell: That’s wonderful. Can’t wait to hear more about that.
Katie Williams: Me too. But first, let’s take a look at the weather with Riley Cole.[Riley Cole comes in a split screen. He’s wearing turkey costume.]
Riley Cole: Hey, guys.
Katie Williams: Oh my goodness, Riley. What are you wearing?
Riley Cole: Um, who’s Riley? I’m Turkey Tom.
Sherman Bell: Oh. Turkey Tom, he says. Look, he’s even changed the graphic.
Katie Williams: And why is Turkey Tom honoring us with his presence today?
Riley Cole: Well, because today was the first day that the thermometer dropped below 40. And you know what that means? Time for a fall rap.
Sherman Bell: Oh boy. Here we go.[music playing]
Riley Cole: [rapping] The leaves are turning all around
and the grass is turning brown
the wind is getting colder and the–
Male voice: This is a Rhode Island weather alert. A severe storm is approaching. Evacuation orders are in place for flood zones one through four. Take only what is necessary. Leave all pets behind. Life threatening winds and flooding expected. May God have mercy on your souls.
Katie Williams: Okay, folks. So, obviously we have a severe weather situation. Riley, how did we not see this storm coming?
Riley Cole: [reading his papers] Well, I was working on the rap all last night. The costume and lyrics, that kind of thing. So, I am a little behind on my weather reports. So, my bad. But now I am seeing. Yeah, yeah. This is a big one. I should have caught it. I apologize for that.
Katie Williams: Okay. Well, why don’t we go to commercial so you can change into something more appropriate?
Riley Cole: Yeah. Well, I would love to but the the Doppler says the landfall could be any minute now. So, let’s take a look at the radar here. [there’s weather graphic behind him] Okay, well, this is the biggest nor’easter that I have ever seen. Let’s see. This is a large fast moving storm. [his funny graphics appear on the storm news] Yeah, sorry. The turkeys were part of the rap. There’s this lyric about how turkeys hate November because the Thanksgiving.
Sherman Bell: Ha-ha. Yeah, you know they do. Ha-ha-ha.
Riley Cole: But anyway, you can see behind the turkeys here. The winds are now reaching– Oh, wow. 190 miles an hour.
Katie Williams: Riley?
Riley Cole: Oh, that is very dangerous.
Katie Williams: Riley?
Riley Cole: Yeah. Yeah.
Katie Williams: Take the turkey off your head.
Sherman Bell: Katie, let’s be reasonable. Now, Turkey Tom–
Katie Williams: Don’g call him that.
Sherman Bell: Katie, please. Turkey Tom, could we be looking at structural damage from these winds?
Riley Cole: More than damage, I think some areas could be completely flattened. We should expect many, many casualties.
Katie Williams: Just take the turkey hat off.
Sherman Bell: Boo! Ha-ha-ha.
Riley Cole: Yeah, maybe I should, right?
Katie Williams: Great. And while you do that, we’ll go to Beth Bennington on Cohassett. Beth, any sign of the storm down there?[Cut to Beth Bennington. She is in the storm all soaked and shaken]
Beth Bennington: Yes.
Katie Williams: Oh, wow. Beth where are the boy scouts?
Beth Bennington: The sea took them.
Katie Williams: Oh my god. Okay, Riley. Well, I see you still have the turkey headpiece on?
Riley Cole: I do. Yes. I decided to keep it on in case you want to hear the rest of the rap after the storm.
Katie Williams: Don’t.
Sherman Bell: Boo!
Riley Cole: No, that’s fair. I’m sorry, I look like this. I’m also very sorry that I missed the storm.
Sherman Bell: Hey, that’s not on you.
Katie Williams: yes, it absolutely is. Okay, Let’s go to commercial so Riley can change. Keep it here for more as this dangerous storm develops.
Sherman Bell: And later we’ll hear from a local boy scout troop who is cleaning up the beach.