[Starts with SNL monologue intro.] [band is playing music one the stage]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Amy Adams.
[Amy Adams walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]
Amy Adams: Thank you. Thank you so much. It is so wonderful to be here hosting the SNL Christmas show. Christmas is the best time in New York. It is the best. And it has been so great having my four year old daughter here with me, and seeing it all through her eyes. And, if you have kids, you just have to go down to Time Square and meet Christmas Elmo. and if you’re lucky, he’s gonna take his head off and ask you for a cigarette.
But, no, honestly, this is my favorite time of year and just with all of the crazy stuff going on in the world lately, I just– I think we could use a little holiday cheer.
[singing] Haul out the holly; Put up the tree before my spirit falls again. Fill up the stocking, I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now.
[Kate McKinnon and Bobbly Moynihan join Amy Adams]
Amy Adams, Kate McKinnon and Bobby Moynihan: For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute,
[Kate McKinnon and Bobby Moynihan leaves. Taran Killam and Sasheer Zamata come in]
Amy Adams, Taran Killam and Sasheer Zamata:Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet.
Yes, we need a little Christmas
[Taran Killam and Sasheer Zamata leave. Kenan Thompson comes in and throws snow over Amy Adams and himself.]
Amy Adams: Aw, thanks you guys.
[four men dressed like reindeers bring in Kristen Wiig carrying her horizontally in a line.]
Oh, my god! Kristen Wiig.
[cheers and applause]
Kristen Wiig: Okay, guys, I need you to set me down gently like we talked about. I need a lot of support on my back side. Yes, more support. More. Okay.
Amy, you guys are kidding, right? I mean that’s all the holiday cheer you guys have? Kenan throwing a handful of fake snow at the camera?
Kenan Thompson: Hey, I like how I did it.
[Kenan Thompson throws the snow again]
Amy Adams: Kristen. I am so, so happy to see you, but isn’t this the second time you crashed my monologue?
Kristen Wiig: I’m not crashing. I have just showed up uninvited. Oh, Amy, okay, your song was really great but we need to get a little more energy. You know, these people are Christmased out! You gotta give them some flash, you know. Some sizzle. You gotta give them like, [giving a pose] pow! And then you gotta give them like, [giving two more poses] pow, pow. Now, you try.
Amy Adams: [giving poses] Pow, pow.
Kristen Wiig: That’s pretty good! There you go. Um, can someone please give me my glitter microphone?
[Someone passes her the mic.]
Thank you Mariah Carey.
Amy Adams: That was Mariah Carey?
Kristen Wiig: Yes, but I really don’t wanna make this about her. This is about us.
Amy Adams: Well, I thought that this was about Christmas.
Kristen Wiig: [singing] Coz we need a lot of Christmas
right this very minute
the candles are on the randles
and sushi’s in a barrel
penguin in the oven
[Amy Adams stops Kristen Wiig]
Amy Adams: Those are not the words.
Kristen Wiig: It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what the words are. That’s my point. It’s how you feel. It’s how you make people feel. Now, get in the Christmas spirit and dance with my Christmas song.
[four men dressed like reindeers come in and start dancing. Kristen Wiig leaves and Amy Adams starts dancing with the reindeers.] [the reindeers carry Amy Adams on their shoulders.]
Amy Adams: Oh, wow! Oh, this is pretty good. [dancing] Oh, this is really good.
[the reindeers leave and Kristen Wiig walks in. Kristen Wiig has a hat that looks like top of Christmas tree.]
Kristen Wiig: Guys, we need a little music
need a little laughter
Amy Adams and Kristen Wiig: Need a little singing
riding through the rafter
[Kristen Wigg is trying to do legs split.]
Kristen Wiig: We need Christmas
We need Christmas
Amy Adams: Okay, stop! Stop! Just stop! Kristen Stop.
[Kristen Wiig is in pain]
Just stop. I really appreciate what you’re doing and that you’re trying to help me, but Christmas isn’t about all of this flashy stuff. It’s about family and friends and being together.
[piano playing] [singing] We need a little Christmas
Kristen Wiig: Yeah, I want all the stuff.
Amy Adams: Right this very minute.
[Amy Adams removes Kristen Wiig’s Christmas tree hat.]
Kristen Wiig: No, not my hat.
Amy Adams: Candles in the window
Kristen Wiig: My shakers.
Amy Adams: Carols at the spinet.
[Amy Adams points at Kristen Wiig’s breasts and asks to give the cutlets to her.]
Kristen Wiig: Argh!
[Kristen Wiig hands them over to Amy Adams]
Amy Adams: Oh, thee are hot! These are hot!
Kristen Wiig: Yeah, those are hot. But, you know what? You’re right.
Amy Adams and Kristen Wiig: We need a little Christmas
right this very minute
It hasn’t snowed a single flurry,
But Santa, dear, we’re in a hurry;
Amy Adams: Come on!
[Kate McKinnon, Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Sasheer Zamata and Kenan Thompson join them]
Everybody: So climb down the chimney;
Put up the brightest string of lights I’ve ever seen.
[Dancers with Christmas outfit walk in and dance] Slice up the fruitcake; It’s time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough. For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute, Need a little Christmas now
[confetti drop] [cheers and applause]
Amy Adams: Thank you. We’ve got a great show. One Direction is here. So, stick around and we’ll be right back.
[music playing] [cheers and applause]