Game Of Thrones FIRST LOOK

Randy… Bobby Moynihan

Director… Jon Rusnitsky

Peter Dinklage

Emilia Clarke… Kate McKinnon

Joe Leuci… Kyle Mooney

Iain Glen… Taran Killam

[Starts with shooting set of Game of Thrones] [Cut to Peter and Emilia]

Peter: Hi HBO. I’m Peter Dinklage, A.K.A. Tyrion Lannister.

Emilia: And I’m Emilia Clarke, A.K.A. Daenerys Targarian, mother of dragons. And this is your first look at Game of Thrones, season 6.

Peter: Season 6 finds Tyrion in the service of Daenerys Targarian. And that means I finally get some screen time with those scene stealers, the dragons.

[Cut to the shooting]

Director: Action!

Peter: Citizens!

[Randy come in with dragon costume on making dragon noises]

Citizens, do not be alarmed, citizens. He is our friend. Drogon is here to protect you.

[Cut to Joe]

Joe: Well, the Mov-Cap technology allows the director to see the finished product as we’re shooting in real time which is pretty phenomenal.

[Cut to shooting]

Peter: Well, he didn’t inherit your looks but he certainly has your temper.

Director: Good job Peter. Why don’t we just do that once more.

[Randy is staring at Peter]

Peter: What are you doing?

Randy: I was just being intense.

Peter: You’re looking at my face.

Randy: Oh, okay. I’ll close my eyes.

[Cut to Iain Glen]

Iain: Season 6, they’ve really pulled all the the stops. I mean, some of these effects they’re doing are just truly incredible.

[Randy is spitting out water for the fire effect]

I’ve seen really unbelievable stuffs.

[Cut to shooting]

It would be wise to trade lightly with me, boy. War is not a game.

[Randy uncovers his fave behind Iain]

Randy: Of Thrones!

Director: Okay, cut! Randy.

Randy: Yeah.

Director: I think I just heard you say something.

Randy: Nope. I didn’t say anything.

Director: You said “Of thrones” after he said–

Randy: Check the playback. I didn’t say a word.

[Cut to Iain]

Iain: Season 6 has a lot of surprises in store. It’s bigger, better, bloodier.

[Cut to Randy during the shoot]

Randy: Hey, are we gonna get a bathroom break anytime soon? I gotta… bust a piss.

Director: It takes like, half hour to get you in and out of that suit. You think you can hold it for a bit?

Randy: Yea, no sweat.

Director: Cool. Great.

[Cut to Emilia. Behind her, Randy is drying his suit as he pissed on them.]

Emilia: This season– I can’t say too much without getting in trouble but let’s just say that Daenerys finds herself rather conflicted between two different good–

[Cut to shooting]

You’ll only bring pain to this kingdom Drogo. You have to go.] [Randy makes dragon sound and then opens the door and walks out]

Director: Okay. Halt. Come back. A dragon wouldn’t just open the door. You just exit frame, okay?

Randy: I can’t hear you but I was gonna say a dragon shouldn’t go through the door. I’m just gonna exit frame, okay?

[Cut to the set]

Iain: Here we are. We’re currently setting up for the pivotal moment where Daenerys leads a dragon into battle for the first time.

[They’re pulling Randy upward]

Randy: Ou! Ou! Ou! I’m sorry. Ou!

Director: Put him down.

Randy: No, it’s pinching it.

Director: Are you okay?

Randy: Wait! Stop, stop, stop. Don’t. Don’t.

Director: Why don’t we just bring you down?

Randy: Just leave me. I need a minute.

[Cut to clips from Game of Thrones]

Peter: Thank you for watching HBO first look. And remember, it’s..

[Randy walks in]

Randy: It’s Game of Thrones.

Peter: HBO.

Randy: HBO.

[Cut to the set. Randy is hanging and there’s a man who is cutting the ropes loose.]

Wait, what is that for? No, wait. Wait. Wait.

[Randy falls flat on the ground] [The End]

Office Christmas Party (Amy Adams)

Shy Girl, Kathy… Kate McKinnon

Carol… Aidy Bryant

Tom… Kenan Thompson

Jerry… Bobby Moynihan

Pete Davidson

Jay Pharoah

Kevin… Beck Bennett

Randy… Kyle Mooney

[Starts with people in a party at office.]

Kathy: Ah! The party is terrible.

Carol: That’s the worst. [Cut to Tom dancing and using his laptop] Tom keeps playing Ghost Busters. [Cut to Jerry, Kathy and Carol] Why would he do that at a holiday party?

Jerry: You know what my Christmas wish is? This party was banging.

[Cut to Pete and Jay walking in from the door. They’re dressed for the party. There’s smoke as in the room as they enter.]

Jay: Did somebody make a wish?

[Cut to everybody]

Jerry: Um, I did.

[Cut to Pete and Jay]

Pete: Well, it’s about to come true.

[Cut to Jerry]

Jerry: What are you guys? Angels or something?

[Cut to Pete and Jay]

Jay: It doesn’t matter.

Pete: Let’s turn this bitch up.

[Hiphop beat drops and the music video begins.]

Pete and Jay: [rapping] Office Christmas Party
Office Christmas Party

[The people in the office are drinking shots.]

Office Christmas Party
Shy girl from payroll sort of dancing
Office Christmas Party
Jerry and Kathy are hitting it off
Office Christmas Party
Dave did impression of an IT guy and crushed it
Office Christmas Party

Crazy seeing the cleaning lady not in the uniform
Office Christmas Party
Kevin still trying to finish some work
Office Christmas Party
Randy made a slideshow but can’t work the projector
Office Christmas Party
Carol from the media is way too drunk
Office Christmas Party
Carol from the media just jumped into the Christmas tree
Office Christmas Party
Someone control Carol from new media
This is getting out of hand
we love that people are having fun
but do us a favor and just be safe guys
Oh, snap! The boss is making it rain gift cards

[music stops] [Cut to Shy Girl singing Christmas song]

Shy Girl: We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I’m Becky and I am from payroll. Out!

[Shy girl drops the mic and starts the rapping]

Now let’s get crazy

Pete and Jay: [rapping] Office Christmas Party
Office Christmas Party
Office Christmas Party
Oh, snap!

[All the employees are partying]

Why is there a goat here?
Office Christmas Party

Jay: What?

Pete and Jay: Peace!

Campfire Song

Christi… Venessa Bayer

Don… Kyle Mooney

Todd… Woody Harrelson

Eva… Leslie Jones

Randy… Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with five friends enjoying camp fire.]

Christi: Such a brisk fall evening. I’m so glad I brought all these Chanel throws.

Don: Me too. This camp fire is so cozy. You build a good fire, Todd.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: Oh, thanks. I just got lucky.

[Cut to Eva and Randy]

Eva: You know what this reminds me of? Back when we used to hang out.

Randy: Oh, yeah, it does.

[Cut to everybody]

Todd: Hey, you know what would be great right now? Some camp fire songs.

[Todd brings out a guitar] [Cut to Christi and Don]

Christi: Oh, yeah. Let’s sing. That sounds fun. Hey, do you know ‘Michael, row your boat ashore’?

Todd: Oh, no. Not really. No. Oh, I know– Maybe, you guys would like this old chestnut. Just join in once you recognize it.

[Todd starts playing guitar and singing]

Apples, apples
apples are a fruit from a tree

Come on, don’t be shy.

Apples, apples
you and me get apples tonight.

You guys still know this?

[Cut to Eva and Randy]

Eva: I don’t think so.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: Apples, apples,
gather your apples, you’re the cat of the walk

You really don’t know this?

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Don: No.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: You do. You have to.

Apples, apples,
the look in her eyes says everything.

Little louder, guys.

[Cut to Eva and Randy]

Randy: None of us know this.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: Yeah, but you will. Okay, here comes the bridge.

Apples, apples,
you’re falling and growing and rolling and rotting and dying.
in the usual way, in the usual way

Come on, you know this part. [Cut to everybody] it just keeps repeating.

In the usual way

Go, Christi.

[Cut to Christi]

Christi: In the usual way.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: That’s not right. You do it Don.

[Cut to Christi and Don looking shocked.]

Don: In the usual way

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: That’s wrong. Okay, come on everybody. You know you will get it.

[Cut to Eva and Randy]

Eva: In the usual way

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: Bad job Eva. You try Randy.

[Cut to Eva and Randy]

Randy: In the usual way

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: No, you’re not getting it. Let’s just go back to the chorus.

Apples, apples,
in the blink of an eye, you’re larger than life.

[Cut to everybody]

Randy: Todd! Stop it. [Cut to Eva and Randy] None of us know this song, for real.

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Christi: Yeah, Todd, we don’t know what you’re playing.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: Well, I do. I guess you don’t like it so. Watch this.

[Todd throws the guitar into the lake. The water splashes on Christi and Don]

Randy: Todd, that was unreasonable.

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Christi: Todd, that was your only possession.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: I still got my pick.

[Todd throws the pick to the lake too. The same amount of water splashes on Christi and Don.] [Cut to Eva and Randy]

Eva: Guys, this has gone too far. We gotta tell him. We gotta tell him.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: Tell me what?

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Don: We were kidding around, Todd. Of course we know the song. You sing it like every time we get together.

[Cut to Eva and Randy]

Randy: Yeah. We were just gonna join in in the last verse.

Eva: But you went crazy before we got there.

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Christi: Here. You know what? I’ll play it.

[Cut to everybody. Christi takes her guitar out.]

Todd: Come on! You have your own guitar?

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Christi: Yes, I do. Alright, let’s sing.

[Cut to everybody]

Apples, apples

Come on, Todd! Sing.

[Cut to Todd]

Todd: No, I’m mad and my guitar’s gone and my pick.

[Cut to Christi and Don]

Don: You did that, Todd. Not us.

[Cut to everybody]

Christi: Now, come on everybody.

Everybody: Apples, apples
you’re falling and growing and rolling and rotting and dying
in the usual way

Christi: Come on, Todd!

[Cut to Todd. He is angry but he’s nodding his head on the song.] [Todd joins the song]

Don: There he is.

[Cut to everybody]

Everybody: In the usual way,
in the usual way

[Todd starts dancing] [cheers and applause]

Parents Call | Season 44 Episode 12

Randy… Mikey Day

Chris Redd

Laurie… Melissa Villaseñor

Dad… Beck Bennett

Mom… Halsey

[Starts with Randy and his clients Chris and Laurie. Randy is explaining the office structure to his clients]

Randy: So, here is your office space layout. You’ll see, we kept these structural columns here. We thought it added some interest to he space, kept it from looking like a cookie cutter office building.

[Cut to Chris and Laurie]

Chris: All with the new. I like that.

Laurie: This is the common space.

Randy: Yeah. [Cut to Randy, Chris and Laurie] [ Randy’s phone starts vibrating] It’s– so sorry. Why are my parents calling?

Chris: Oh, you can go ahead and take that.

Randy: I am so sorry. Hello?

[Cut to split screen. Randy at the left, mom and dad at the right.]

Dad: Oh, hey Randy. How are you?

Mom: Hi, honey. How’s everything?

Randy: Mom, you guys are both there. What’s going on?

Dad: Oh, nothing. We just wanted to know if you liked that new grill we got you. We have the same one and we love it.

Randy: Cool. I’m actually at work right now.

Dad: Oh, you’re at work?

Mom: He’s at work–

Dad: Oh, don’t tell him about it.

Mom: It’s okay. Don’t tell him.

Dad: Yes, we won’t tell him.

Randy: Tell me what? You guys have something important to tell me?

Dad: Oh, no, no, we’ll tell you later. You’re at work.

Mom: Sorry, you’re at work.

Randy: No, no, guys. What is it?

Dad: Oh, it’s nothing at all. I shattered all the bones in my leg. Love you. [Dad hangs up the phone] [Cut to Randy, Chris and Laurie]

Randy: Hello?

Chris: Is everything okay.

Randy: Do you guys mind if I call them back. I think my dad, like, broke his leg or something.

Laurie: Oh, of course.

Randy: Yeah. I’m so sorry.

[Randy calls his parents back] [Cut to split screen. Randy at the left, mom and dad at the right.]

Mom: Hello.

Randy: Hey, mom.

Dad: Oh, Randy! This is a surprise. Did you get out of work early.

Randy: No, you just said your legs were shattered?

Dad: Oh, come on buddy? It’s nothing. I was hot doggin’ at the club, rolled the golf cart and it pancaked my legs. Broke all the bones.

Mom: Pancaked them.

Dad: Yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal at all. I’m fine. We shouldn’t have called at all. God, you’re starting to piss me off.

Mom: Get back.

Randy: Dad, are you okay?

Dad: How should I know? I refused medical care at the scene. When your mother had to go last week, they charged us 5 grand for an IV.

Mom: Highway robbery.

Randy: Wait, what happened to mom?

Mom: Nothing. So you never told us. How’s that new grill?

Randy: I don’t care about the stupid grill, mom.

Dad: Oh, stupid. Oh, we’re sorry. The grill we bought you is such a dumb ass. And you know, your mother didn’t want me to tell you, but she got shot. [Dad hangs up the phone] [Cut to Randy, Chris and Laurie]

Randy: What? Oh, my god. I’m so sorry. I think my mom got shot. If you guys want to reschedule?

Chris: No, no, no. Call them back.

Laurie: And you can put them on speaker?

Chris: Yeah, I feel like we are a part of this now.

Randy: Yeah.

[Cut to Mom and Dad. Mom’s both hands are plastered. The phone rings] [Cut to split screen. Randy at the left, mom and dad at the right.]

Dad: Hello?

Randy: Dad?

Dad: Oh, Randy! You’re home.

Randy: No. I’m still at work. Mom, were you shot?

[Cut to Mom and Dad]

Mom: Yes, Randy. Don’t make it a big deal. I was on a jog in the woods and I ran through a shooting range. Took five bullets to my thigh. Now, I see on Facebook you are seeing someone?

[Cut to Randy, Chris and Laurie]

Randy: Mom. Stop changing the subject.

Dad: Oh, right. Okay. [Cut to Mom and Dad] How dare your mother take an interest in her son’s love life?

Mom: She’s beautiful.

Dad: Yeah. She’s almost as silly as that little idiot grill.

[Cut to Randy]

Randy: Okay, guys, should I fly out?

[Cut to Mom and Dad]

Mom: No, no. We do not need an extra set of hands around the house.

Dad: Yes, we have mine even though you mother’s are completely ruined.

[Cut to Randy]

Randy: Wait, did you say mom’s hands are ruined?

[Cut to Mom and Dad]

Dad: Yes, Randy. She ruined her hands in the fall.

[Cut to Randy, Chris and Laurie]

Chris: Ask her what fall.

Randy: I’m going to.

Chris: Okay.

Randy: What fall?

[Cut to Mom and Dad]

Mom: My fall, through the hole.

[Cut to Randy, Chris and Laurie]

Randy: Okay, what hole?

[Cut to Mom and Dad]

Dad: Randy! The hole in the middle of our house. She fell through it. She braced her fall with her hands and they snapped right off.

Mom: And then they snapped them back.

Dad: What is it you don’t understand? I can’t do it with him.

Mom: He’s pissing me off.

Dad: He’s pissing me off. [Dad stands up with his crutches and starts walking behind] [Cut to Randy, Chris, and Laurie]

Laurie: Hi, sir. This is Laurie. Your son’s client. Why is there a hole in your house?

[Cut to Mom and Dad]

Dad: Well, because Laurie, we were installing an elevator because of all the leg mishaps recently.

[Cut to Randy]

Randy: So, why is there not an elevator where the hole is?

[Cut to Mom and Dad. They are annoyed.]

Dad: Think, Randy. Because we changed our mind! All right?

Mom: God, this kid!

Dad: I can handle myself on the stairs just fine. [Door bell rings] I’ll get it.

Mom: You get it.

Dad: [Dad falls off the stiars] Oh, no! My legs! My face! My body is completely pan-caked!

[Cut to Randy]

Randy: Um, okay, you guys. I am going to fly out there first thing tomorrow morning.

[Cut to Mom]

Mom: Oh, good. You can meet Roger. He’s living with us now.

[Cut to Randy]

Randy: Okay, Roger? Who is Roger?

[Cut to Mom]

Mom: Oh, Roger is your identical twin brother we gave up for adoption at birth. Love you. [Mom hangs up the phone]