An Extra Christmas Carol | Season 44 Episode 8

Ebenezer Scrooge… Mikey Day

Extra Spirit … Jason Momoa

Mr. Crutchett… Beck Bennett

Mrs. Crutchett… Heidi Gardner

Tiny… Kate McKinnon

[Opens a story book and narrators starts telling the Christmas story]

Narrator: And so Mr. Scrooge was shown the errors of his ways by three spirits, the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. The following morning he was a changed man.

[Cut to Scrooge sleeping on his bed. Mrs. Dilber comes in from the door with morning tea for Scrooge]

Ebenezer Scrooge: Tell me what day it is Mrs. Dilber?

Mrs. Dilber: Why, it’s Christmas day sir.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Then I haven’t missed it.

Mrs. Dilber: Are you quite yourself sir?

Ebenezer Scrooge: I hope not! It’s Christmas Day! [Scrooge goes to the window] Merry [Cut to Scrooge shouting out of the window] Christmas, Everyone! [Spirit with Christmas coat on comes in from the door with smokes and clouds]

Extra Spirit: Christmas tidings Scrooge.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge shocked] Who are you?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to spirit walking in] I’m a spirit, Ebenezer.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] Marley told me there were only to be three spirits. Are you some sort of extra spirit?

Extra Spirit: Exactly, I’m so much more extra!

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge confused] I have seen my past, present and future. What is left for you to show me?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] Maybe this. Watch. [Spirit gets behind the bed curtains and starts dancing flirty and feminine.]

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge] Okay. The other ghosts helped me to transform from a stingy miser into a giving, loving man. What lesson did I gain from that?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit] Seriously? You should be like, “Boy, why are you so extra?”

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge] I mean, I had a long night so maybe that’s why I’m not getting it?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] It’s fine. I think I know what you need. [Spirits opens his Christmas coat and inside he I wearing glowing shiny tiny cape. Spirit starts stripping flirty and feminine] So?

Ebenezer Scrooge: Are you sure you have the right address?

Extra Spirit: Oh, come on! [Cut to Spirit] I’m being very extra for you and you’re not getting it.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Cut to Scrooge] You took off a cape and had another cape on underneath. What’s to get?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit] It’s called a reveal, you fat head.

[Cut to Spirit and Scrooge. Mrs. Dilber comes in with other three people]

Mrs. Dilber: Mr. Scrooge, the Crutchette family are here.

Extra Spirit: Don’t worry. They won’t see me. I’m a ghost.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Oh, my good fella, come in. Happy Christmas.

Mr. Crutchett: Happy Christmas. What’s gotten into Mr. Scrooge?

Ebenezer Scrooge: Bob, I want to give you something. This is your Christmas bonus.

Mrs. Crutchett: [Cut to three Crutchette family] Bonus? How incredibly kind of you.

Mr. Crutchett: Thank Mr. Scrooge, Tiny.

Tiny: Thank you Mr. Scrooge. If I’m not so bold to ask, who is this well built ghost who’s been so extra?

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Spirit and Scrooge] Thank you! See, Tiny Tim gets it.

Ebenezer Scrooge: So they can see you?

Extra Spirit: Yeah, I guess so.

Tiny: [Cut to three Crutchette family] You’re always as extra as Christmas itself, with all it’s Tinsel and Goose dinners.

Extra Spirit: [Cut to Tiny, Spirit and Scrooge] You know what? Let me give it one last try because I think Scrooge might almost be there.

[Spirit throws away his pants and inside he’s wearing shiny underwear. Spirit starts stripping flirty and feminine] [Tiny walks up front, throws his crutch and starts dancing]

Mr. Crutchett: Tiny, you can walk!

Tiny: Now, give me that bonus money! There’s something I need to do! Yes!

Extra Spirit: Twerk with me, Tiny Tim! Twerk with my Scrooge!

Ebenezer Scrooge: Oh, yes, I see it now. Yes!

[Cut to the story book. The book ends]

The War in Words | Season 44 Episode 7

James… Mikey Day

Margaret… Claire Foy

Hemry… Kenan Thompson

[Intro playing]

Narrator: This is a PBS world war I centennial special. The war in words: letters from the trenches.

[Cut to old photographs of Private James and his wife Margaret] The letters of Private James merchant of the king rifles to his wife, Margaret.

[Cut to James writing a letter]

James: My darling Margaret, this war is hell. We in our trench, the Germans in theirs, dying by the thousands, and for what? [Cut to Margaret reading the letter] The only thoughts that calm my mind are ones of you, [Cut to the letter] my love. You adoring husband, James.

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret] James, sounds dreadful. Love, Margaret.

[Cut to James looking at the letter and looking confused. He starts replying to that letter]

James: My dearest Margaret. I was mad with excitement to receive your letter, though I found it lacking in substance. In future letters, please elaborate. As I long to read your words. Yours faithfully, James.

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret] James, will do. Love Margaret.

James: [Cut to James angry] Margaret, my dear, it seems that prose is not your forte. Perhaps you could send me a photograph of yourself instead? Your loving husband, James.

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret] James, enclosed is a photograph of me. Please enjoy it privately, you naughty boy: Hee-Hee, love, Margaret.

James: [Cut to James with a photograph in his left hand] Margaret, no! This is a photograph of you as a child. [Cut to an old photograph of a child] And the suggestion that I should enjoy it is extremely disturbing. Please send a current photograph of yourself instead. Your husband, James.

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret] James, as requested, here is a photograph I’ve taken this afternoon. Please send back the other one if you can pry it away from your army friends that is, hee-hee. Love, Margaret.

James: [Cut to James]Again, my love, nobody finds your childhood photo arousing. And as for this current photograph, [Cut to an old photograph of Margaret and a stranger] who is this gentleman you are with? He looks to have made himself very comfortable in our home and why is he wearing my hat? [Cut to James] Perhaps you would like to give him my pocket watch as well. Answers, Please, your husband, James.

Henry: [Cut to Henry] Dear James, Henry here, I cannot thank you enough for the pocket watch. I love it. You and your wife are so kind, which is why I don’t believe a word of what the newspaper are saying. There’s no way she could have committed that crime. Can you write me at 149 Cherry Street, Brighton, UK. Henry.

James: [Cut to James] But that’s my house! [Starts writing again] Dearest Margaret, I am positively starved for context. Henry’s led me to believe you’re in trouble with the law. Of what crime are you accused? And who is Henry? And why is he living in our home? Confused in France, James.

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret] James, Henry is the man in the photograph.

James: [Cut to James] Yes, I know, but who is he?

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret] Anyway, love, wish me luck. My trial is today. Love, Margaret. P.S. how is World War I going?

James: [Cut to James] The war is bad, Margaret. And why would you call it World War I? This is cryptic. Do you think there will be a second World War? And also still needed, details about your legal troubles, i.e., how did the trial go? Also, everything Henry! Out letters have become like the causes of this war, deeply confused, your beleaguered husband, James.

Margaret: [Cut to Margaret. She is wearing a military uniform] My dearest James, forgive my silence. I will explain everything when I see you in France. That’s right; I have joined the army as a gunnery maid. I will be serving under captain Wilhelm in the Blitz division. Love, Margaret.[Margaret wears a helmet]

James: [Cut to James] Oh, my god, she’s joined the German army!

[Playing outro]

Narrator: Stay tuned for more of “The War in words: Letters from the trenchies.