RV Life | Season 44 Episode 6

Dad….Steve Carell

Mom….Heidi Gardner

Son….Mikey Day

Daughter….Aidy Bryant

 

[There’s a place full of RV vans]

Dad: Honey, I just heard [Cut to husband and wife inside an RV van] the kids pull up.

Mom: Oh, my babies!

Dad: Hey, there they are! [Kids open the door and dad welcomes them in] You found us!

Daughter: Dad. Mom.

Dad: How are you?

Son: Good to see you. [Kids are getting in very uncomfortably] How are you?

Daughter: Wow, mom and dad. [dad and mom sit on the seat while the kids stay standing]

Son: Wow, you weren’t kidding. [Cut to the kids looking around] This is definitely an RV.

Daughter: Yeah, yeah. They’re all so similar, we found you by your license plate, ex-banker.

Mom:  [Cut to dad and mom] Yeah, ex-banker. Ex-interior designer.

Dad: Current RVers. It’s hard to believe.

Mom: Yeah, it’s pretty cool.

Dad: Six months ago, I came home, and I told your mom, I don’t want to work anymore and she said okay.

Son: [Cut to the kids] You were cool with that, mom?

Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies with squeaky voice] Oh, yeah, I love it.

Daughter: [Cut to the kids] Really?

Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies with more squeaky voice] Yeah. Yeah.

Dad: You know, it’s so freeing to purge your possessions. You know, it just feels great.

Mom: [Mom talking in squeaky voice] Yeah. Oh, yeah. I- I- I love it.

Dad: She loves it. She loves it so much I almost so much I forget whose idea it was.

Mom: It was yours.

Daughter: [Cut to the kids] Yeah, dad. You really look like you’re in your element.

Dad: [Cut to dad and mom] Oh, I sure am. Today I jogged butt naked around the lake: just socks and crocs, real man stuff.

Son: [Cut to the kids] And you’re having fun, mom?

Mom: : [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies looking the other way] Oh, sure. Yes. I love it.

Son: Mom, can- can you [Cut to the kids] look at us when you say that?

Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies facing the kids but closing her eyes] I love it.

Daughter: [Cut to the kids] Okay. Can you open your eyes when you say it?

Mom: [Cut to dad and mom] [Mom replies opening her eyes and staring at the ceiling] I love it. I just love sitting back here.

Daughter: Oh, you don’t sit up front?

Dad: No, no, no. [Cut to the kids looking around being confused] That’s where lady gray sits.

Son: [Cut to dad and mom] Who is lady gray?

Dad: Well, the love of our life. Our great dane, lady gray. [Cut to everybody in the RV van] [Dad opens the door, and the dog comes in] Lady gray, come on in here! Come on in here lady gray!

Daughter: Jesus!

Dad: Oh!

Mom: That’s a good girl. Yeah.

Dad: Lady gray sits up front because she gets carsick back here.

Mom: I get carsick too, but I love it. [Cut to dad and mom] Come here, lady gray! [Cut to everybody in the RV van] [Mom goes up to the dog to play with her] Hi, girl. Hi! Did you know a dog can punch you? [Cut to dad and mom]

Son: [Cut to everybody in the RV van] Where does the dog sleep?

Dad: Oh, your mom’s bed.

Mom: Yeah, and I sleep here. [Cut to mom, leaning on the table to show how she sleeps]

Daughter: [Cut to everybody in the RV van] I’m sorry, where did you get a great dane?

Dad: Well, from our new RV friend, Jibs. [Jibs opens the door and comes inside]

Jibs: I’m coming. You called me?

Mom: Well, we said your name, so yeah.

Dad: Yeah, Jibs here showed us how to work the dump station.

Jibs: Let’s just say I’m well versed. I showed my little robin egg here how to take the upper hose from the RV dump tank to the vice clamp and the community receptor tank.

Dad: Yes, well, your mom does that stuff. She likes it. It’s the only thing I really don’t like.

Son: I don’t think mom likes any of this.

Daughter: Yeah, mom, you hate dogs.

Mom: I love it. [Cut to mom caressing the dog]

Daughter: I don’t think you do.

Dad: [Cut to everybody in the RV van] Oh, she does love it, right honey?

Mom: Yeah, I love it! I love it!

Dad: [Cut to mom and dad] Honey look at me in the face. Honey–

Mom: [mom nodding her head here and there] I love it.

Dad: Look, look at me in the– look at me in the eyes.

Mom: [Mom looks dad in his eyes] This is hell! You’re awful! And I hate it! I couldn’t hate it more. It’s horrible. It’s horrible!

Dad: What are you trying to say?

Mom: I don’t love any of it.

Jibs: [Jibs comes in the middle of dad and mom] Is this a bad time to tell you all lady gray is pregnant.

Disney | Season 44 Episode 6

Dad….Steve Carell

Son 1….Mikey Day

Daughter 1….Melissa Villaseñor

Son 2….Pete Davidson

Daughter 2….Aidy Bryant

[Four kids are sleeping. Dad turns on the light and wakes them up.]

Dad: Kids, kids, wake up. I have a big news.

Son 1: Dad, it’s in five o’clock in the morning.

Daughter 1: Why is dad in here?

Dad: [Cut to dad] Because it’s time for you to pack your bags. We’re going to Disney World.

Daughter 1: [Cut to two daughters] Disney world?

Daughter 2: Yes, that’s so nice, but you don’t have to cheer us up. We already know that mom’s leaving you.

Dad: [Cut to dad] She what?

Son 2: [Cut to dad and two sons] Don’t worry.

Son 1: Yeah, we’re fine with it.

Dad: What are you talking about?

Son 1: [Cut to son 1] My god, does he not know?

Daughter 2: [Cut to Daughter 2] No, no, no. He has to know.

Son 2: [Cut to dad and two sons] He’d be idiot if he didn’t know.

Daughter 1: The whole town knows. [Cut to Daughter 1] It’s in the newspaper.

Son 1: The messed-up part is dad is the one who introduced each of them to one another?

Dad: [Cut to Dad] Introduced who? What’s happening? [Cut to everybody in the room]

Son 1: No, is our dad dumb?

Son 2: Yeah.

Daughter 2: He didn’t even notice when the cat ran away, we replaced it with a dog.

Dad: You what? My cat?

Daughter 1: What is wrong with him?

Dad: [Cut to Dad] Okay, enough. Have some respect. I am your father.

Son 1: [Cut to Dad and two sons] I mean, not technically.

Dad: What does that mean?

Daughter 2: [Cut to Daughter 2] I mean, how can we know all of this and our dad has no idea.

Son 2: [Cut to Dad and two sons] You mean your dad!

Dad: [Cut to Dad] All right, how about this. Why don’t you tell me what the hell is going on here and I will still take you to Disney world.

Son 1: [Cut to Son 1]We were just at Disney world.

Dad: [Cut to Dad] You were?

Daughter 2: [Cut to Daughter 2]Yeah, for Jeremy’s birthday.

Dad: [Cut to Dad] Jeremy?

Son 2: [Cut to Jeremy] Me. Does he not know our names?

Dad: [Cut to Dad] Wait, wait, if you were at Disney, where was I?

Son 2: [Cut to Dad and two sons] We assumed you were coming but then we realized mom didn’t invite you.

Daughter 2: [Cut to two daughters] Yeah, and we were like why are we at Disney World with dad’s boss?

Son 2: Yeah, is dad as boss, [Cut to Son 2] Ron going to be with us the whole trip?

Daughter 1: [Cut to two daughters] It was pretty clear he and mom were sleeping together.

Dad: [Cut to Dad] Oh, I’m so confused, I can scream right now.

Daughter 1: [Cut to two daughters] Actually, why are we whispering?

Dad: I don’t want to [Cut to Dad] wake up your mother.

Son 1: [Cut to Dad and two sons] Dad, she’s definitely not here.

Dad: What?

Daughter 1: [Cut to two daughters] Yeah, she’s been gone or a month. She lives in Arizona with Ron and in four days, so will we.

Dad: [Cut to Dad] Oh, I’d love to go too, Arizona. I’ve never seen the ocean.

[Cut to Son 1 looking confused]

Son 1: Dad, and I mean this, what the hell is wrong with you?

Dad: [Cut to Dad and two sons] Okay, okay. Listen, [Dad walks up to Jeremy and sits beside him] I have something, I want to tell you guys. Things haven’t been going well with your mom.

Son 2: Jesus, dad.

Dad: I think she might be cheating on me.

Daughter 2: [Cut to Daughter 2] I can’t do this again.

Dad: [Cut to Dad and Jeremy] Maybe with my friend Dave.

Son 2: It’s [Cut to everybody in the room] Ron!

Dad: But I’m giving up because you kids are four miracles. You’re my miracles. [Cut to Dad and Jeremy] Especially since your mother and I have only done it twice.

Son 2: All right, dad, I think that’s enough.

Dad: Okay, you’re right. All right. [Cut to everybody in the room] I’m going to bed. I have a big day today. Gonna surprise my kids with a trip to Disney.