Tag: Kyle Mooney

Father Daughter Ad

Taran Killam

Dakota Johnson

Kyle Mooney

[Starts with a car pulling over in front of the building]

[Cut to Father and Daughter inside the car]

Father: Well, this is it. You need any help with your bag?

Daughter: No, that’s alright. I got it.

Father: How about some walking around?

Daughter: Dad! It’s okay.

Father: Okay. Just, um, make sure to–

Daughter: Call you when I get there? I know.

Father: Ya. You know, um, you could stay home to another year of high school.

Daughter: Very funny dad! [laughs and steps out of the car.]

Father: Well, I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.

Daughter: Ya, I’ll see you. [Daughter bends over to the car’s window] Hey dad!

Father: Ya!

Daughter: Thanks.

Father: You got it, kiddo!

[horn honking]

[sigh] Looks like your ride’s here.

[Cut to a truck full of men with guns and Islamic logo on it pulls over.]

[Cut to Father]

You be careful, okay?

[Cut to Daughter]

Daughter: Dad, it’s just ISIS.

[Daughter winks at Father and walks.]

[Cut to Daughter getting on the ISIS truck.]

[Cut to Kyle on the truck looking at Father]

[Cut to Dad looking at Kyle]

Father: Take care of her.

[Cut to Kyle nodding his head.]

[Cut to the truck leaving the area. The men are firing guns at the sky and making noise.]

[Cut to Father taking long breath]

Female voice: ISIS: We’ll take it from here, Dad.

[cheers and applause]

Dakota Johnson Monologue

Dakota Johnson

Kyle Mooney

Kate McKinnon

Don Johnson

Melanie Griffith

[Starts with SNL monologue intro.]

[band is playing music one the stage]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Dakota Johnson.

[Dakota Johnson walks in and to the stage]

[cheers and applause]

Dakota Johnson: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys. Thank you. It is such an honor to be here hosting SNL.

[cheers and applause]

New York is so beautiful this time of year. Just kidding. For those of you who don’t know me, I am currently starring in Fifty Shades of Grey. Fifty Shades of Grey is based on the best selling novel that that made you wanna never touch your mother’s kindle again. Doing this movie has completely changed my life. Like, for instance, my dry cleaner won’t look me in the eyes anymore. And my dog walker gives me a little wink every time he takes a lease off the wall. It’s so great.

But this movie is a ton of fun and I’m really proud of it. And I don’t want to speak too soon but I have a funny feeling that at next year’s Oscars, it’s gonna be not anywhere. But who cares? Right? I mean, I don’t care about that. But, it’s already made like, $500 million and the fans really love it. And by fans, I mean very specific group of–

[Cut to Kyle in the audience.He is wearing kinky leather outfit.]

Kyle: Hey, hello. Hi, excuse me. Hi. I was wondering if I could ask you a question.

[Cut to Dakota Johnson]

Dakota Johnson: Oh, we’re not really doing questions, sir.

[Cut to Kyle]

Kyle: What if I begged?

[Cut to Dakota Johnson]

Dakota Johnson: Okay, alright. Quickly, what is it?

[Cut to Kyle]

Kyle: I was just wondering, who do you think will be the GOP front runner for 2016?

[Cut to Dakota Johnson]

Dakota Johnson: Oh, really? That’s not what I was expecting you to ask.

[Cut to Kyle]

Kyle: I’m just kidding. I wanted to ask if you’d sign my wife’s ball gag. Honey?

[Kate stands up from the audience. She has the ball gag in her mouth, and now she puts it out.]

Kate: Your movie has brought us a lot closer. Even the kids have noticed.

[Cut to Dakota Johnson]

Dakota Johnson: That is so sweet. Great, okay. And now I understand why my parents will not be seeing my movie. You may not know this, but my parents are Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson. [cheers and applause] And it’s actually really incredible that I am standing on this stage right now because in December of 1988, my mother stood in this exact spot and hosted SNL. [cheers and applause] And this is true. This is true. Right after the show, my father got down on one knee and he proposed to her for the second time. And exactly nine months later, I was born. [Someone in the audience claps once] So, I must have– Thanks for that. One clap. So, I must have been conceived that night after the show… or maybe even during the show. Isn’t that right, you guys?

[Cut to Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith in the audience covering their faces trying to hide.]

[cheers and applause]

[Cut to Dakota Johnson]

What’s wrong? Are you embarrassed that I told that story?

[Cut to Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith]

Don Johnson: No, no. We were just afraid you were gonna be naked.

[Cut to Dakota Johnson]

Dakota Johnson: We have got a great show for you tonight. Alabama Shakes are here. Stick around, we’ll be right back.

[Kyle and Kate walk to the stage to get Dakota Johnson’s autograph on ball gag]

Cinderella

Bobby Moynihan

Kyle Mooney

Prince… Taran Killam

Cinderella… Dakota Johnson

Cathyanne… Cecily Strong

[Starts with a Cinderella book. The book opens to the chapter ‘The Night of the Ball’.]

[Cut to a hall where people are dancing]

Bobby: Way to the turn out for the ball, my prince.

Kyle: Beautiful young maidens from every corner of the kingdom have assembled in hopes of catching your eyes.

Prince: Yes, but it’s always the same. Big over-stuffed dresses. Big empty smiles. They bore me so.

[Prince looks at the door]

Wait, who is that.

[Cut to Cinderella in front of the door in a blue dress.]

Bobby: I don’t know. I have never seen her before.

[Cut to Cinderella walking down the stairs while Prince is looking at her.]

Prince: Well, she is ravishing. [Prince walks towards Cinderella] Madam, you are the most beautiful vision I have ever laid eyes upon. I must know your name.

Cinderella: Oh, no. I’m just a nobody from nowhere.

Prince: Oh, please. Please, do tell me your name. I think I’m in love with you.

[Cathyanne walks in the door. She is looking untidy. ]

Cathyanne: Wow! No, hold on, hold on buddy. You are moving way too fast.

Prince: Oh, I’m sorry. Is this your father?

Cathyanne: Oh, boy! Are you rude or what? No, I am a regular woman like Michelle Robama. Thank you very much.

Cinderella: This is Cathyanne. I hope it’s okay that I brought her. She works with me as a scullery maid at my step mother’s house.

Cathyanne: That’s just a temporary job until I can get back on my feet financially.

[Cut to Prince]

Prince: Um, how charming. Now, young lady, I do believe you are the most beautiful person here.

[Cut to Cinderella and Cathyanne. Cinderella is getting happy.]

Cathyanne: Wow! Right in front of my face? Okay, happy birthday Cathyanne!

[Cut to Prince, Kyle and Bobby]

Kyle: Madam, you must leave

Bobby: Yes, you are not properly attired for this ocassion.

[Cut to Cinderella and Cathyanne]

Cathyanne: Oh, you don’t like what I’m wearing? Well, you better look in the mirror. I’ve never seen pants that tight. [Cut to everybody] You better let them things breathe or you gonna lose them like my brother did. [Cut to Cinderella and Cathyanne] Now, the poor guy’s all twig, no barrels.

Cinderella: Okay, Cathyanne. This is the first I’m hearing of this. Your poor brother, my goodness. Maybe the prince could help.

[Cut to Prince]

Prince: Oh, no! What on earth could I possibly do about that? All I can say is condolences to your brother’s buries.

[Cut to Cinderella and Cathyanne]

Cathyanne: That’s gonna mean a lot him. You know, every little bit helps.

[Cut to Cinderella, Cathyanne and Prince]

Prince: Rather. Now, may I have this dance?

[Prince bows down]

Cinderella: Which one of us are you speaking to? Me or Cathyanne?

Cathyanne: Oh, please. Would you please get some self confidence? Okay, this is exactly why your step mother rocks the hell all over you. [talking to Prince] I’m sorry, you should meet this woman. I know you are royalty, but she is a real C-U-N-Thursday.

Cinderella: Cathyanne, may I speak with you for a minute? [Cinderella pulls Cathyanne away] Please look at me. Look how beautiful I am. I only get to be this until midnight and you are really eating up a lot of my time.

Cathyanne: Okay, that’s fair. That’s fair. Hey, the prince, come here.

[Prince walks to them]

Okay, she is ready to be with you. And don’t be rude, she is drag and disease free.

Cinderella: Cathyanne, no! What are you saying?

Cathyanne: Hey, you know what? I applaud you for getting those test done coz they are scary, okay? I got my HDTV test back and it was a freaking false negative. Talk about scary.

[Cut to Prince and Kyle]

Kyle: I’m sorry. Shall I physically remove her?

[Cut to Cinderella and Cathyanne]

Cathyanne: Oh, dang! This guy has had my number since I walked in here.

[Cut to Cinderella, Cathyanne and Prince]

Cinderella: Please, please, let her stay my prince. I know she comes on strong and she’s not exactly everybody’s cup of slop, but she is my only friend.

[Cut to Prince]

Prince: For you my dear, anything.

[Cut to Cinderella and Cathyanne]

Cathyanne: Oh, so if she wasn’t here, I’d be gone. Interesting. I will take note of that.

[Cut to Cinderella, Cathyanne and Prince]

Prince: Yeesh! Now, if I may have this dance.

Cinderella: It would be my pleasure.

[Cut to Bobby and Kyle]

Bobby: Maestro!

[music playing]

[Cut to Prince, Cinderella and Cathyanne. Prince and Cinderella are dancing together, and Cathyanne is dancing alone beside them.]

Cinderella: This is the best night of my life.

Cathyanne: Yeah! My second best. Maybe third.

Prince: You have made me so happy.

[midnight bell sound]

Cathyanne: Oh, dang! You hear that clock? We got to get you out of here.

Cinderella: Oh!

Prince: Wait, where are you going?

Cinderella: I’m so sorry. I can’t stay.

Cathyanne: Yeah, five more bongs like that, she’s gonna like hell in a hamburger. You think my hair is stringing? I’m sorry girlfriend, you know it’s true.

Cinderella: Yeah!

Prince: Wait, please tell me your name.

[Cinderella and Cathyanne are rushing towards the door.]

Cinderella: I’m so sorry. There is no time.

Prince: Oh, please.

Cinderella: Ah! I wish I could, but there is no time.

Prince: Well, I mean, you could have said it by now.

Cinderella: No!

[Cinderella turns around and walks out the door]

Prince: All is lost. How will I ever find her?

[Bobby comes in]

Bobby: She left her shoe. [Bobby shows him white sneakers.]

Cathyanne: Hey! [Cathyanne walks in again] That is my shoe you freak! And I’m not going through these stairs again. So, come on! Throw it.

[Bobby throws the shoe to Cathyanne]

Okay, bye bye.

[Cathyanne leaves]

Teacher Snow Day

Student… Pete Davidson

Bobby Moynihan

Cecily Strong

Leslie Jones

Sasheer Zamata

Kyle Mooney

Kenan Thompson

Kate McKinnon

Jay Pharoah

[Starts with clip of snowstorm news.]

[Cut to a TV in school’s cafeteria]

School announcer: Attention students in Ridgement School district. The following schools are closed today. [Cut to clips of empty school] St. Joseph hill and North Academy. Students should not come to school. I repeat, you must stay at home because this snow day, this snow day is for teachers!

[the music video starts]

Bobby: Ha-ha-ha-ha.

[rapping] That’s right it’s a teacher’s snow day
no kids, no books, full pay

Cecily: You think we’re home grading papers
but we using em’ to smoke them our favorites

Leslie: Kids want a day off? Get in line
behind overwork teachers get drunk on wine

Sasheer: Teacher’s lounge is a nasty club

Kyle: And the only extra credit is a rub and tug

[Teachers are partying in teacher’s lounge]

Kenan: Teachers snow day

Cecily: Zero F’s given this is blizzard living

Kate: This ain’t the breakfast club, we drill to die

[Cut to a student walking in the halls of school alone]

Bobby: Here’s my hall pass sucker!

Jay: We got the school on lock
we do a lots of chalk
and when I’m in the R-room
I don’t wear a smock

Sasheer: Mr. K and Mrs. P are having 50 shades sex

Student: Just like I learned in my biology text.

Kyle: Mr. Reed, I’m doctor death
then I’m up in my chem lab, cooking meth.

Student: Came to school by mistake
saw drugs and jugs
thought my teachers were bitches
but they’re hardcore thugs

Bobby: Teachers snow day! Coz our dreams are dead, yo!

Aidy: The only PTA here is my pretty toy ass

Student: Not gonna lie, this is awesome!

[Cut to teachers looking out the window]

Jay: Oh, damn! It’s principal Hefernin

Cecily: I’ve never seen him at a snow day.

Leslie: He’s been here like, 65 years.

[Cut to principal in his car nodding his head to the beat]

Principal: This was my damn day off it wasn’t part of the plan
but when I roll up to school in my minivan
there’s something all these motherf* better understand
the dress code is out, I’m not wearing pants

Bobby: Understand that you can chuck your bleep
he got that something too, teachers lining up like team

Principal: I got PA announcement for every class
except, the P is for Pu* and A is for ass

Leslie: What do I teach? I don’t even remember
hands off in the spring a wake of September

Jay: We reverse hibernate, we asleep on summer

Kyle: So, when it’s blizzard time, we in a promp [bleep]

Cecily: This is our choice, teachers move the earth!

Kenan: We on that sweet dessert

Jay: We teach the children, we teach them well

Kate: But when it snows outside, they can go to hell.

Bobby: Yeah! Teachers snow day! 2k15.  Forever!

Leslie: Kids trust us. We need this more than you!

Kenan: Teacher’s snow day. Shut it down!

[Cut to all the teachers passed out in the teacher’s lounge.]

[Cut to the student taking their pictures]

Student: Well, I’m definitely passing Chemistry now.

Monologue J.K. Simmons on Movie Roles & Snowpocalyse ft. Fred Armisen

J.K. Simmons

Kyle Mooney

Aidy Bryant

Pete Davidson

Leslie Jones

Fred Armisen

[Starts with SNL monologue intro.]

[band is playing music one the stage]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, J.K. Simmons.

[J.K. Simmons walks in and to the stage]

[cheers and applause]

J.K. Simmons: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’m so excited to be here hosting Saturday Night Live. This has already been an amazing year for me. I was in a movie called ‘Whiplash’. [cheers and applause] Thank you, thank you. I also played a blind lawyer in a show called ‘Growing Up Fisher’. [cheers and applause] Thank you, thank you. That was canceled. [audience laughing] And I was of course the voice of the yellow m&ms. So, I’m not sure which of those I’m here hosting because of. I guess it’s probably for Whiplash. It could be for those Farmers Insurance ads. Those are fun. [cheers and applause]

But I really loved being in Whiplash. It was a dream role. For those of you who have not seen the movie, I play a sort of mean intimidating band conductor who yells at his students a lot, but that’s not me in real life at all. I’m a nice guy. I got along great with the cast this week. In fact I became really good friends with Aidy and Kyle during the snowstorm. We all wrote a song together. [cheers and applause]

[Kyle and Aidy are ready. Kyle is on drums and Aidy is on piano.]

Now, CNN said the storm was going to be a snow-pocalypse. I think we can all agree it turned out to be more of a no-pocalypse. Two, three, four.

[Kyle starts playing drums]

No.

[Kyle stops]

Sorry Kyles, not my tempo.

Kyle: Sorry.

J.K. Simmons: It’s all good. No worries. Let’s take it again. More of a no-pocalypse. Two, three, four…

[Kyle starts playing drums]

No!

[Kyle stops]

You’re rushing.

It’s okay, it’s okay. I just really want this song to be great, okay? Here we go. More of a No-pocalypse. Ha-ha, two, three, four…

[Kyle starts playing drums]

No!

[Kyle stops]

Dragging! Kyle! What is up? Come on! Can you just.. This is not your little weird videos, okay? This is the opening of the show. Can you get it together? Lose the Alf sweatshirt and goofy hair, okay? Get on my tempo.

Kyle: I think my hair’s gorgeous, but…

[Cut to J.K. Simmons]

J.K. Simmons: I think all hair is ridiculous.

[audience laughing]

Go, go, go!

[Kyle leaves]

Pete, come on, you’re up. Let’s go.

[Pete comes in to play the drums]

Okay, here we go. Turned out to be more of a no-pocalypse. Ha-ha two, three, four…

[Pete plays different beat]

Stop!

[Pete stops]

Let me ask you a question, Pete. Do you think you’re cute?

Pete: [smiling] I guess.

J.K. Simmons: Sure, all the girls love you coz you’re the SNL cutie pie, huh? You know what is not cute? [yelling] Sucking at the drums.

Pete: Come on, man!

J.K. Simmons: Maybe you could play on my tempo if you spend as much time practicing as you do smoking pot.

Pete: Oh, I’m not gonna practice 100 hours a week.

[Pete leaves]

J.K. Simmons: Sorry for yelling. I just– I really want the song to be, you know, fun. It’s gonna be cute.

[Cut to Aidy]

Aidy: This song is so great, Mr. Simmons.

[Cut to J.K. Simmons]

J.K. Simmons: Okay. If I want you to kiss my ass, I’ll tell ya’. Get out!

[Cut to Aidy]

Aidy: I really miss Blake Shelton.

[Aidy leaves]

J.K. Simmons: Leslie, come on. Get out here. Let’s go. You’re up.

[Leslie comes in to play the drums]

Leslie: Ay man! You know, I hope I do well. I’m just gonna try to do the best for you.

J.K. Simmons: Okay, great! You coming at the end of four.

Leslie: End of what?

J.K. Simmons: Two, three, four…

[Leslie just hits the drums randomly]

Stop! [yelling] Pathetic!

Leslie: [yelling] Ay! Do not scream at me J.K.! I’m a 47 year old woman. Do not do that. You need to pump your breaths, dude!

[Leslie leaves]

J.K. Simmons: Okay, alright, alright. Fair enough. Fair enough. Alright, who else we got? Anybody, come on!

[Fred comes in to play the drums]

[cheers and applause]

Alright, can you just wipe the dumb smile off your face, Armisen? You’re not important anymore. This is New York city, you’re on SNL. Remember? You used to be on the show. I watched when you were on the show. You know who my favorite character was?

Fred: Who was that?

J.K. Simmons: Stefon.

Fred: You know, I have an idea. Maybe just be nice. Because, drumming should be fun. You know, and I think that you’re just a little sweetie. You know what? I’m gonna play something nice for this little sweetie. What do you think of that?

[cheers and applause]

J.K. Simmons: I think it’s going to be terrible.

Fred: Okay, here we go.

[Leslie starts playing drums. He is playing well.]

[cheers and applause]

J.K. Simmons: Fred Armisen! We got a great show for you tonight. D’Angelo is here. Stick around, we’ll be right back.

[cheers and applause]

Career Day

Mrs. Riley… Leslie Jones

Teacher… Cecily Strong

Mr. Ronion… J.K. Simmons

Jake… Pete Davidson

Kyle Mooney

Sasheer Zamata

Fireman… Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with a vet doctor speaking in front of the class in Career day..]

Mrs. Riley: Now, with kittens, it’s usually the cute ones that scratch you.

Teacher: Ah! Thank you Rachel’s mom, [Mrs. Riley goes back] for talking to us about being a veterinarian. [Cut to Teacher] Okay. Career day continues with Jake’s dad.

[Cut to the class. Everybody is clapping.]

Mr. Ronion: Thanks. [walks in front of the class] Hey, buddy!

Jake: Hey, dad!

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: Hi, I’m Mr. Ronion. And I am a Japanese messy boy. I know, what is that? Well, there is a small group of rich powerful Japanese women enjoy watching muscular older American men eat messy food in a sloppy almost childlike way. And I do that for a living.

[Cut to the students. Jake has his ears closed.]

[Cut to Teacher]

Teacher: Um, we usually ask our parents to describe a typical workday. But it’s up to you.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: I’d love to. On appointment days, I am driven to a huge empty mansion and ushered into a changing alcove where I disrobe and put on a pair of little boy’s underpants. I know, get out the giggles. I said ‘underpants’.

[Mr. Ronion opens his briefcase]

I also wear this bib. [Bib that says ‘Lil Missy’.] And this hat. [A little boy hat]

[Cut to everybody]

Here, you guys can pass that around if you like.

[Mr. Ronion hands over the cap to the students.]

I then sit at a three small white table in a very small red plastic chair and eat a meal while the wealthy Japanese woman watches and silently judges me.

[Cut to Kyle raising his hand]

Kyle: What kind of food do you eat?

[Cut to Teacher]

Teacher: No, you know what? We don’t need to take up any more Mr. Ronion’s time.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: No! Not a problem. Well, the food changes but it’s always sloppy. Overstuffed meatball sammies, beeforoni, a large hamburger that’s difficult to manage.

[Cut to Sasheer raising her hand]

Sasheer: Do you get a napkin?

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: Oh, I wish! No, no, no. Japanese messy boys are forbidden from using napkins. After I finish the meal, the woman stands and says “Kono Americahito moto kau”, which translates roughly as, “The American boy eats in the manner of a pig.” She then storms out and an assistant hands me $45,000 in cash. Any questions?

[Cut to everybody. Everybody including students and parents are raising their hands.]

[Cut to Aidy]

Aidy: I forgot to ask Mrs. Riley. What’s the hardest part about being a vet?

[Cut to Mrs. Riley]

Mrs. Riley: Mean dogs. [turns to Mr. Ronion] Man, how the hell did you get a job like that?

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: Well, I was approached leaving my tennis club. A Japanese man in a suit was waiting in my car with a wooden box with a cocoon inside. And he said, “Careful this”, and split. Three weeks later, when the butterfly finally came out, hand to god, there was a piece of parchment attached to it’s freaking leg with an address on it. Jakie was there. You remember the butterfly, buddy?

[Cut to Jake being embarrassed]

Jake: Yap!

[Cut to Mr. Ronion]

Mr. Ronion: He’s embarrassed. So cute.

[Cut to Teacher]

Teacher: And, um, any more questions?

[Cut to everybody. One of the parents is raising his hand.]

Fireman: Hey, man. I don’t have a question but you get paid to eat like a pig. I mean, you’re my hero. And that’s coming from a fireman.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion nodding his head. His phone rings.]

Mr. Ronion: Oh! Getting a call on my work phone. Hey, do you guys wanna hear it?

[Cut to Mrs. Riley]

Mrs. Riley: Oh, please put that on speaker. Please.

[Cut to Mr. Ronion. He puts the phone on speaker.

Mr. Ronion: Yes, Mr. Nakomoto.

Guy on the phone: We really pick up a messy boy in 10 minutes. Today, barbecue rib. Client expect big mess.

Mr. Ronion: Got it, thank you sir.

[Mr. Ronion hangs up the phone]

Okay, um, [Mr. Ronion takes back his boy hat] well guys, I gotta run. Um, you heard the man. So, I guess if you have any more questions, Jakie can fill you in.

[Cut to Jake looking embarrassed]

Jake: Can’t wait.

Mr. Ronion: Oh, and tell your mom I’ll be eating dinner at work tonight.

Jake: Got it! Got it!

[Cut to everybody]

Fireman: Whoo! Living the dream, messy boy! Yeah! Messy boy!

Patriots Press Conference On Deflated Footballs

Gregg Gumble… Kenan Thompson

Bill Belichick… Beck Bennett

Tom Brady… Taran Killam

Kate McKinnon

Kyle Mooney

Jay Pharoah

Sasheer Zamata

Dougie Spoons… Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with Inside The NFL intro]

Gregg Gumble: Hello, welcome. Welcome to Inside The NFL. I am Gregg Gumble, [pointing at his hair] the human microphone. With just a week to go before Super Bowl 49, the NFL is facing yet another scandal. And this time it actually has something to do with football. The New England Patriots were accused of intentionally deflating footballs during the AFC championship. We now go live to Gillette stadium where Patriots coach Bill Belichick is holding a press conference.

[Cut to Bill Belichick at the podium of press conference.]

Bill Belichick: Good evening. As you can tell, I’m taking this very seriously. That’s why I got dressed up. I came here today to tell you that I have absolutely nothing to do with deflating those footballs and that’s all I have to say at the matter. Period! But I still have several minutes left. So, I’d like to spend the remaining of the press conference throwing my quarterback under the bus.

Now, I don’t know if this is relevant, but I remember, right before kickoff, Tom got this crazy look in his eye and he whispered to me, “I’m gonna do it. I’m finally gonna do something about those damn footballs.” Also, even though you didn’t ask, I’m just gonna say that I never really trusted the guy. Someone that good looking and rich, I mean, you’ve seen American Psycho.

Anyway, I loved him like a son. Just more of a strange son that I wouldn’t trust around footballs.

[Cut to the media raising their hands for questions.]

[Cut to Bill Belichick]

I’m sure you have questions but I’d rather leave those questions to the person who did it, Tom Brady.

[Bill Belichick leaves an Tom Brady walks in.]

Tom Brady: Uh, hey guys. Thanks for being here. I just wanna address the elephant in the room. This is a vintage hat. Pretty cool, right? Alright, laters!

[Tom Brady walks away but Bill Belichick pushes him back to the podium]

[Cut to the media]

Kate: Tom. Hey, Tom. Did you have anything to do with deflating these footballs?

[Cut to Tom Brady]

Tom Brady: Me? Absolutely not! Honestly, I wasn’t even aware that footballs could be inflated or deflated.

[Cut to the media]

Kate: You weren’t aware of that?

[Cut to Tom Brady]

Tom Brady: Look, all I know is that a football is a pigskin. So, I just assume that air in the football is how much air was inside the pig when it died.

[Cut to the media]

Kyle: Tom! I think you’re pretending to know a lot less than you actually do.

[Cut to Tom Brady]

Tom Brady: [in squeaky voice] Whaaaaat? Look, guys. I’m just a quarterback, alright? Once I take that snap, all I’m thinking about is throwing the bum ass spirals to grunt man! I’m not worried about the air pressure in the ball. That’s nerd stuff. Honestly, that’s above my pay grade.

[Cut to the media]

Kyle: You make $26.5 million a year.

[Cut to Tom Brady]

Tom Brady: Yeah. Well, is that a lot? Guys, I don’t know things. I’m not a banker! I’m not a science computer!

[Cut to the media]

Jay: Did you just say science computer?

[Cut to Tom Brady]

Tom Brady: Isn’t that what you call it? I don’t know. Also, I just wanna change the sub– I don’t wanna change the subject here but remember how my former team mate Aaron Hernandez allegedly murdered 3 people? I mean, that seems like a huge story, right?

[Cut to the media]

Sasheer: Well, if you didn’t oversee the footballs, who did?

[Cut to Tom Brady]

Tom Brady: Okay, and for that I would like to turn it over to the real brains behind our entire operation, Assistant Equipment Co-Manager Dougie Spoons.

[Dougie Spoons walks in clapping]

Dougie Spoons: Yeah! Yeah! What’s up? Yeah! What’s going on? You guys wanna touch my balls or something? [laughing]

[Cut to the media]

Sasheer: Um, Dougie, is it?

[Cut to Tom Brady and Dougie Spoons]

Dougie Spoons: Yeah! Dougie Spoons.

[Cut to the media]

Sasheer: Dougie, did Tom Brady at any point instruct you to take air out of those footballs?

[Cut to Tom Brady and Dougie Spoons]

Dougie Spoons: This man is a saint.

Tom Brady: Ah! Dougie!

Dougie Spoons: What? You think you can do what he does? He has won 3 Super Bowls. Six if you include the losses. This man is a legend, a hero, and one day he is gonna be the father of my child.

Tom Brady: I’m sorry, what?

[Cut to the media]

Jay: Dougie, we just want the truth.

[Cut to Tom Brady and Dougie Spoons]

Dougie Spoons: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has balls. And those balls have to be inflated by men with pumps. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, reporter? You don’t want the truth because deep down in places, you don’t talk about at Super Bowl parties, you want me on that bowl. You need me on that bowl.

[Cut to the media]

Kate: Did you deflate the ball?

[Cut to Tom Brady and Dougie Spoons]

Dougie Spoons: I did the job I was told to do.

[Cut to the media]

Kate: [yelling] Did you deflate the ball?

[Cut to Tom Brady and Dougie Spoons]

Dougie Spoons: [yelling] You’re damn right I did!

[Tom Brady slides out]

[Cut to the media looking shocked]

[Cut to Gregg Gumble in his news set]

[cheers and applause]

Gregg Gumble: Woah! Wow, that was not what I expected. This is basically the best episode of Inside The NFL ever! And live from New York, it’s Saturday night!

Celebrity Family Feud

Steve Harvey… Kenan Thompson

Blake Shelton

Adam Levine… Taran Killam

Pharell Williams… Jay Pharoan

Christina Aguilera… Cecily Strong

Keith Urban… Kate McKinnon

Nicki Minaj… Sasheer Zamata

Harry Connick Jr. … Beck Bennett

Steven Tyler… Kyle Mooney

[Starts with the game stage of Family Feud]

Announcer: It’s time to play Family Feud Celebrity Edition. Here’s your host, Steve Harvey.

[Steve Harvey walks in]

[cheers and applause]

Steve Harvey: Welcome to Celebrity Family Feud. Y’all like this suit? It’s the first suit made by Hennessy. Yeah, they used to make fine cognacs. But thought that they give clothing a try. Yeah, it’s got a little pocket for a little 5 ouncer.

Okay, today we got celebrities from [Cut to the judges of The Voice] The Voice, taking on the team from [Cut to the judges of American Idol] American Idol.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

And leader of The Voice team is metrosexual lumberjack Blake Shelton.

[Cut to Blake Shelton]

Blake Shelton: Hey, Steve.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Now, Blake, America knows you as a coach on The Voice. You ever tried singing yourself?

[Cut to Blake Shelton]

Blake Shelton: Yes, Steve. I’ve sold like, 7 million Amazon on the radio all the time.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Not in my neighborhood. Okay, next to Blake from the band Mark Maroon-5 is sexy, smothering, soprano scare crow, Adam Levine.

[Cut to Adam Levine]

Adam Levine: Hey! How you doing, Steve? Hope you check out my new album and my proactive commercial.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Oh, I would check out both, but I already went through puberty. And we also got fashion icon, Pharell. You looking good, playa!

[Cut to Pharell Williams]

Pharell Williams: Well, thank you. I got this hat from Smokey the Bear. All of you can prevent force fire, huh!

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Ay, I like you. any man who starts his day dressing from his hat down is okay with me. Then we got pop diva, Christina Alelera.

[Cut to Christina Aguilera]

Christina Aguilera: Hello, Steve. It’s an honor for this proud Latino woman.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Latino? Girl you Latino the same way Tacobell is Mexican food. And here in the American Idol team with a voice from god and hair from Jennifer Aniston, is a country singer, Keith Urban.

[Cut to Keith Urban]

Keith Urban: Steve, it’s lovely to be here.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Wait a minute. You’re Australian? Country music is supposed to be about living in the middle of nowhere and drinking beer, and starting fights. Okay, yeah, that’s Australia. And over here with her body turned up to 11, it’s Nicki Minaj.

[Cut to Nicki Minaj]

Nicki Minaj: I’m here to have fun, but I came to win!

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Um, excuse me. I think this brass doll is possessed. Over here, he is the number one album seller of all time in Starbucks, it’s Harry Connick Jr.

[Cut to Harry Connick Jr.]

Harry Connick Jr.: Thanks, Steve. You’re a gentleman and a scholar.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Hey, I like your music. Makes me feel like I’m in a white barber shop. And finally, one of the world’s greatest lady rockers, Ms. Stevey Knix.

[Cut to Steven Tyler]

Steven Tyler: Come on, man! I’m Steven Tyler! [shouts somethings]

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Steven Tyler? I don’t know, player! You look like a dream catcher came to life. Either way, let’s get two players up here.

[Cut to everybody. Blake Shelton and Keith Urban are walking to the buzzers.]

Keith Urban and Blake, look at this. You look like him if he ate one of those Super Mario Brother mushrooms. Blagaga-blgaga-blagaga. Now, how long has American Idol been on?

Keith Urban: About 12 years.

Steve Harvey: And what about The Voice?

Blake Shelton: 4 years, but we’re on our 17th season.

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Yeah, NBC does run hell lot of that show. I see y’all on TV more than that Mutant-X Boogerman. Hilarious.

[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]

Okay, top 5 answers on the board. We asked 100 people. Name something you never ask a woman.

[Blake Shelton presses the buzzer]

Steve Harvey: Blake Shelton.

[Cut to Blake Shelton]

Blake Shelton: What did I do, Maranda?

[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]

Steve Harvey: Trouble just follows you, don’t it? Show me, ‘What did I do wrong?’

[Cut to the show screen. There is ‘What did I do wrong’ in the answers.]

Wow! [Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban] Man, I can’t believe that’s up there.

Blake Shelton: Well, I say it a lot.

Steve Harvey: Keith Uban?

Keith Urban: Alright.

Steve Harvey: Something you never ask a woman.

[Cut to Keith Urban]

Keith Urban: Well, something I say all the time is, “Who did your highlights?”

[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]

Steve Harvey: Yeah! Yeah, I once got my mustache highlighted. [Cut to Steve Harvey] I looked like a black Captain Crunch.

[Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban]

Let’s see, ‘How did you get the lady hair?’

[Cut to the show board. There is ‘Do you dye your hair?’ in the answers.]

Close enough. [Cut to Steve Harvey, Blake Shelton and Keith Urban] American Idol, you got the point.

Keith Urban: Alright!

[Steve Harvey and Keith Urban walk to American Idol side.]

Steve Harvey: Okay, Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj. Something you never ask a woman.

[Cut to Nicki Minaj]

Nicki Minaj: I get this all the time. I’m gonna say, “Is it real?”

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]

Steve Harvey: Don’t matter. Real or not, I’m smacking it. Show me, ‘Is it real?’

[Cut to the show board. It’s not in the answer.]

[wrong answer buzzer]

Oh, not on there.

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]

Harry Connick Jr., what do you never ask a woman?

[Cut to Harry Connick Jr.]

Harry Connick Jr.: Steve, there’s nothing that makes a lady hit the road faster that looking her in the eye and say, “Well, you know I’m not Michael Bublé, right?”

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]

Steve Harvey: I hear you, player. I dated a woman for three years who thought that I was Ving Rhames. Ving Rhames. Show me, ‘not who she thought I was.’

[Cut to the show board. It’s not in the answer.]

[wrong answer buzzer]

Not up there. [Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.] Okay, last chance. Steven Tyler, something you never ask a woman.

[Cut to Steven Tyler]

Steven Tyler: I’ll tell you what, baby. If you’re talking to a woman, never bring up age.

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]

Steve Harvey: Her age?

[Cut to Steven Tyler]

Steven Tyler: No, my age. [screams]

[Cut to Steve Harvey and the American Idol team.]

Steve Harvey: Oh, I see that. Show me, ‘too old to get figure.’

[Cut to the show board. It’s not in the answer.]

[wrong answer buzzer]

Ah, no!

[Steve Harvey walks to The Voice team]

Okay, The Voice team. You got a chance to steal.

[Cut to The Voice team]

Adam Levine: Who is prettier? You or me?

Pharell Williams: Wanna meet Robin Thicke?

Christina Aguilera: Why do you sound like Ooh-Ooh-Yeah!

[Cut to Steve Harvey and The Voice team]

Steve Harvey: Okay, Blake, tell me something you never ask a woman.

[Cut to Blake Shelton]

Blake Shelton: Well, one question I see ladies get asked all the time and they really hate it is, ‘Are you Adam Levine?’

[Cut to Steve Harvey and The Voice team]

Adam Levine: Ha-ha-ha. Okay, very good. You got me, Blake.

[Cut to Blake Shelton and Adam Levine]

Blake Shelton: Yeah, I did, pretty boy.

Adam Levine: Pretty? You really think I’m pretty?

Steve Harvey: What’s happening?

Blake Shelton: Yeah!

Steve Harvey: Okay, here we go.

Adam Levine: Really?

Blake Shelton: Yeah!

Adam Levine: I think you’re very handsome.

[Blake Shelton and Adam Levine go below the table]

[Cut to Steve Harvey]

Steve Harvey: Oh, wow! This is happening. That’s happening right now. This has been in the works for about three years. You know what? I’ma let these two work this out while I take a little bit of ‘me time’. [showing the bottle of Hennessy he had in his suit pocket.] Hennessy soup, y’all.

[cheers and applause]

Why’d You Post That

Darnell Pepper… Kevin Hart

Kim… Venessa Bayer

Trisa… Aidy Bryant

Travis… Kyle Mooney

[Starts with Darnell Pepper in his set for Why’d You Post That?]

[cheers and applause]

Darnell Pepper: Hello, what’s up? I’m Darnell Pepper and welcome to Why’d You Post That? Yeah! This is the show where I find people who are bad on Instagram, bring them out here and yell at them. Please welcome our first guest, Kim.

[Kim walks in]

Kim: Hi Darnell.

Darnell Pepper: Hey, thanks for being here.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Kim, do me a favor. I want you to tell me what this photo is and why did you post it?

[There is a blur photo of The Empire State building posted on Instagram on the show screen.]

Kim: Oh, that’s the Empire State building [cut to Kim] and I posted it because I heart New York

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Oh! Okay, okay. That’s the Empire State building right there? Wow. I’ve never seen that before.

[Cut to Kim]

Kim: Oh, wow, you haven’t?

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Of course I have, Kim. I’ve seen the Empire State building about a billion times. There’s actually tons of photos going around that other people have seen of it. I don’t think not one person has seen this photo and said, “What’s Kim’s take on it?” Kim, answer this question. Why is it so blurry? And when you took it, were you thrown from the building when you took the picture?

[Cut to Kim]

Kim: No, Darnell. I thought I actually had a pretty good view.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Oh, this is a good view to you? This here? Kim, you know, my grandmom has a better view and her house honestly Kim, is underground. My grandmom’s dead. Um, Kim, listen. Your Instagram has taken time from my life. And right now, I’m gonna take time from your’s. You’re going into wall.

[Cut to the stage.]

Kim: What do you mean?

[Darnell Pepper presses a button beside his chair. The sofa that Kim is sitting on gets pulled into the smoky wall and the wall closes.]

Darnell Pepper: Yeah, get your ass out! [Cut to Darnell Pepper] Get out! Get your ass out! Um, now, for those of you tuning into my show for the first time, yes, I do have a small dungeon behind my set. Now, each of my guests is basically locked back there for about one week just to get their minds right. Is it illegal? Of course it is. You wanna stop me, just call 911. We all know you’re not going to do it. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Okay, please help me welcome my next guest, Trisa.

[Trisa walks in]

[cheers and applause]

Trisa: Hi. Hey, I was told I was gonna be on ‘The Price Is Right’.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Well, you got the price wrong. Um, Trisa, here’s the thing. I wanna tell you a story. I was laying on my bed on Sunday and I’m basically scrolling through the gram and I saw a picture of my sister’s daughter. [Show screen showing Darnell Pepper’s sister’s daughter posted on Instagram.] Aw, there she is. You know what I did? I loved that. That’s what I did. You know I saw another picture of my friend’s puppy. He was dressed like a hotdog. [Show screen showing a puppy dressed like a hotdog posted on Instagram.] Look at this. Cute as hell. That’s cute, right? Then all of a sudden,this popped up. [Show screen showing a picture of a broken toenail posted on Instagram.] It’s a photo of your big old bruised and busted toe. Now, why in hell would you post this photo?

[Cut to Trisa]

Trisa: [laughing] I don’t know, it’s a funny story, Darnell. A horse ran over my big toe and it got really bruised and then the nail broke off. And I was like, “Oh, my god. That would make the perfect Instagram.”

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: [fake laughing] Hey, Trisa, is your mom watching this?

[Cut to Trisa]

Trisa: Oh, yeah! Definitely.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Okay, then I’ma take this time to address your mother directly. [looking at the camera] You failed! Okay?

[Cut to Trisa]

Trisa: Okay. Well, Darnell, I’m sorry. I had to give my followers something for Throw Back Thursday. You know, TBT.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Wait a minute. Hold on! Hold on! This was a TBT? So, you’re telling me that you went through all your old photos to be like, “Hmm, what should I post?” And somehow you decided on a picture of a dead toe? You know what that’s like, Trisa? That’s like fishing an old dukie out the toilet to restake the bathroom. That’s what it’s like. Trisa, pack your bags coz you’re going into wall.

Trisa: What?

[Darnell Pepper presses a button beside his chair. The sofa that Trisa is sitting on gets pulled into the smoky wall and the wall closes.]

Darnell Pepper: Get your ass back there. God I love doing that. I love it. I really do. Now, right now is time for this week’s Darnell Do Not. Instagrammers, do not post a sexy selfie without checking the background first.I want you to look at this. [Show screen shows a picture of a woman posted on Instagram.] Look at this girl trying to get me all horny. Hey, real quick, what’s that behind her on the bathroom floor? [The picture zooms. There’s a baby lying naked on the floor.] Oh! Oh! That’s a baby back there busting it open. That’s what that is. Okay? This is not a sexy selfie. It’s exhibit A in a custody trial. And that’s why it’s a Darnell do Not.

Alright, now it’s time for my final guest. He’s a dumb little idiot. Please welcome Travis.

[Travis walks in]

Travis: Hey, my brother!

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Ha-ha. Shut the hell up, Travis. We need to talk about something serious, okay? Last week Travis, there was a horrible terrorist attack in Paris. And Travis, you posted an Instagram about it.

[Cut to Travis]

Travis: That’s right. And the caption said, “Thinking of everyone in Paris” coz I was.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: Oh, that’s nice. But you know, let’s take a look at the picture right now.

[Show screen show’s a selfie of Travis in his bed topless posted on Instagram.}

Look at that. This is not about Paris. This is about you trying to show of your little orangutan nipples. That’s what this is. Okay? Have you ever been to Paris, Travis?

[Cut to Travis]

Travis: Yes, sir. I love the culture there. But the Eiffel tower was smaller than I thought and I lost a lot of money.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Darnell Pepper: That was Vegas. Okay? Travis, that’s it! You’re going in the wall.

[Darnell Pepper presses a button beside his chair. The sofa that Travis is sitting on gets pulled into the smoky wall and the wall closes.]

In the wall! In the wall! Get your ass back there.

[Cut to Darnell Pepper]

Alright, people! Well, that’s all the time we have on Why’d You Post That? I’m Darnell Pepper saying, “Don’t post pictures of coffee.” Goodnight.

Funk by James Brown

James Brown… Kevin Hart

Dave… Kenan Thompson

Steve… Taran Killam

Robbie… Bobby Moynihan

Ricki… Beck Bennett

Kyle Mooney

Jay Pharoah

Samantha… Sasheer Zamata

[Starts with a band on a stage in 1971]

James Brown: Hey! Yeah, I wanna get up and do my thing.

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: I wanna get up and do my thing.

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Can I count it all?

Band: Count it all.

James Brown: Can I count it all?

Band: Count it all.

James Brown: One, two, three, four.

[band starts playing music.]

[singing] Get up

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Get up

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Stay on the scene

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Like a sex machine

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Hey, now wait a minute. Should we get all funky?

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Ay! Ah! I said, should we get more funky?

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Now, before we get funky, I need to hear from each person individual.

Dave: Why?

James Brown: Well, I just wanna make sure I’m making the right decision, you know. Hey! Should we get more funky, Steve?

[Cut to Steve, Robbie and Ricki playing their instruments]

Steve: Yes!

[Cut to James Brown]

James Brown: Hey! Yeah! Okay, that’s one. What about you, Robbie?

[Cut to Steve, Robbie and Ricki playing their instruments]

Robbie: Yeah!

[Cut to James Brown]

James Brown: Ha-ha-ha, fantastic. We’re halfway to funk-town people. Ay! Ricki, should we get more funky?

[Cut to Ricki is nodding his head yes.]

[Cut to James Brown]

That’s not good enough, Ricki. I need a verbal commitment.

[Cut to Ricki]

Ricki: Okay, yes.

[Cut to James Brown and Dave]

James Brown: Thank you. Ay, Dave, should we get more funky?

Dave: I don’t know.

James Brown: You don’t know? What don’t you know, Dave?

Dave: I don’t know if I wanna get more funky than this.

[Cut to Kyle playing bass guitar]

Kyle: Yeah, I think we’re pretty good. We’re at funk-wise.

[Cut to Robbie.]

Robbie: Yeah, man. I mean, this is fun right now.

[Cut to James Brown and Dave. Jay is playing drums at the back.]
James Brown: Okay, so wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. So, y’all don’t want to get more funky?

Dave: I mean, should we get more funky?

James Brown: Wait, what are you doing? I ask the questions.

Jay: Ay, I got a question

James Brown: Wait, what did I just say?

Jay: Hey, how come you’re the only one that get a cape?

Dave: Yeah, why don’t we all get capes?

James Brown: Coz if we all get capes, who’s gonna bring out the cape?

Dave: Maybe Samantha can bring out the capes.

James Brown: What? Samantha! You wanna bring out the capes?

[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha rocking her body to the music.]

Samantha: I’m not bringing out no damn capes.

[Cut to James Brown, Dave and Jay]

James Brown: Well, that settles cap thing. Hey!

[singing] Get up

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Get up

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Stay on the scene

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Like a sex machine

Dave: You don’t know

James Brown: Ay! Now, should we take it to the bridge?

Band: Yes.

James Brown: I said, should we take it to the bridge?

Band: Yes.

James Brown: Steve, bridge?

[Cut to Steve]

Steve: No!

[Cut to James Brown and Dave]

James Brown: Wait, just a flat no? Okay, I just heard you said ‘yeah’ with everybody else. What about you? Ay! Lauren, should we take it to the bridge?

[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha]

Lorraine: It’s Lorraine.

James Brown: Lorraine? Since when?

[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha]

Lorraine: Tuesday. I got married. [showing her ring]

[Cut to James Brown and Dave]

James Brown: You got married and you changed your first name? Hey! Hey, well, you know what? I don’t want to take it to the bridge no more.

Band: What?

James Brown: Yeah, I don’t wanna. This song says three words for about 20 minutes. You know what? I’m hungry. You guys hungry?

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Should we get the chicken prawn?

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Hah! So that’s 10 chicken prawn.

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Lorraine, you want the chicken prawn?

[Cut to Lorraine and Samantha]

Lorraine: With mustard.

[Cut to James Brown and Dave]

James Brown: With mustard? Who wants mustard on a chicken prawn?

Dave: I do.

James Brown: Okay, fine. So, that’s 10 chicken prawns with mustard.

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Hey, now can I hit it to quit it?

Dave: I don’t know, James. Can you?

James Brown: May I, okay. May I hit it to quit it.

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Wait, so if I stop singing, you all gonna stop playing?

Band: Yeah!

James Brown: Coz I don’t wanna stop singing, then you all keep playing. Then one thinks I made a mistake.

Dave: That’s not gonna happen dude.

James Brown: Okay, hit me!

[the band stops playing]

[still singing] stay on the scene…

Dammit! I’m sorry guys. I’m sorry. That’s my bad. Chicken prawn.