Vince… Michael B Jordan
Janinaneen … Heidi Gardner[Starts with four ladies having a bachelorette party]
All: Cheers! Whoo!
Ego: After all this wedding planning, I needed this Palm Springs trip, okay?
Sarah: Well your bachelorette weekend ain’t over yet, honey.[doorbell ringing]
Ego: Oh my gosh, don’t tell me. Don’t tell me.
Sarah: It’s about to get hot in here.[Vince walks in in a Fireman uniform with a hose]
Vince: Hello ladies, my name is Vince. And I just got word that y’all buildings out of code. And that makes me horny.[music playing] [Vince starts dancing]
Ego: You guys are so bad. This is what I’m talking about.
Vince: I’m about to introduce y’all to my friends, Pop and Lock. [showing his two arms]
Chloe: Yay, he’s so hot.
Sarah: You’re welcome. I saw him on the website and I was immediately rock hard.
Ego: Okay, okay. Mr. Pop and Lock, go on.
Punkie: Oh my god, this is crazy.
Chloe: Okay, how red is my face right now?
Vince: Well, we all gonna be off tonight girls. We all go on blush. Your turn bride to be.[Vince danced in front of Ego] [doorbell ringing]
Ego: Oh-oh. Wait, do we have another firefighter?
Punkie: Not that we paid for.
Janinaneen: Hey, I’m sorry to bug y’all. Vince babe, my phone died.
Punkie: What? Who is that?
Vince: Oh, my bad. This is my wife, Janinaneen.[Janinaneen walks in. She’s pregnant.]
Janinaneen: Hey. Sorry. I hate to ask. Can I change my Galaxy for literally two minutes?
Chloe: Sure. I guess.
Janinaneen: Oh, thank you so much. My mom got glute surgery today and we’re just praying she’s okay.
Vince: Wow, the hospitality is biblical. Thank you queens. Urgh. You alright, babe?
Janinaneen: Um, I’m charging. Oh, pictures on my mom’s new ass just came in. She made it. God is good. God is good. Okay, now watch my king strip. Hit it.
Vince: Where was I? Oh, yeah, I’ll introduce y’all to my friends, Pop and Lock.
Janinaneen: Oh yeah, there he is. Sit on them, Vince. Sit on them.[Vince sits on Punkie and dances] [Janinaneen moves closer and puts her pregnant belly on Chloe’s face and starts dancing]
Yeah, he made this. He made this. He made this. He made this. He made this.
Chloe: Okay. No. Okay. I am so sorry. I can’t, you guys. I can’t.
Ego: Yeah, you know, I think I was envisioning just like one dancer and not like a pregnant woman with a really long phone charger.
Janinaneen: Girl, don’t hold back because of me. You can touch him. You can kiss him. I promise you, I don’t mind, [pointing at her pregnant belly] and she don’t mind.
Vince: See? See? See? I love that about us. 100% trust. [in Ego’s ears] Oh, I hope and pray to God you find that in your wedding. Oh. I hope and pray to god.
Ego: Okay. Thank you.
Vince: Hit it. Hit it. Because that one my friends, that keeps the relationship alive. It keeps the sexuality alive.[Vince and Janinaneen start dancing. The ladies start to move away from them.]
Punkie: Okay. This is getting just a little bit weird.
Sarah: Guys, we already paid him the 30 bucks. Just let him finish.
Ego: 30 bucks? My peanut butter cost 30 bucks.
Punkie: Bitch, where you getting peanut butter?
Chloe: Okay, I’m sorry, are they praying?
Vince: I humbly thank God for the power strip. Umm.
Janinaneen: And I pray the lord for these Chickies for letting me charge my galaxy.
Vince: Whoo! Where was I? Oh yeah, that’s right. I was introducing y’all to my two friends, Pop and Lock.
Ego: We already met them.
Janinaneen: [putting the water hose between her legs like penis] Hey hoes, who wants to ride his hose? [She’s touching the hose on Chloe’s and Sarah’s faces]
Sarah: This is stressing me out. I feel like we’ll end up on the news.
Chloe: Okay, alright. Okay, alright, enough. We’re done. We’re done.
Punkie: Yes, this is not what we paid for. Okay?
Janinaneen: No, you got more than what you paid for. Three strippers for the price of one.
Ego: Ma’am please stop referring to your fetus as a stripper.[Janinaneen’s water breaks]
Janinaneen: Oh my god, my water broke.
Chloe: Oh my god.
Ego: Wait, how pregnant is she?
Vince: Just a little over a year, but whatever.
Punkie: What? Oh my god. I’m calling an ambulance.
Janinaneen: WE don’t have time. I’ll have the baby here with my girls.
Vince: We got this, girls. We got this. Okay, hit the music.[music playing]
All: Push, push, push. Push, push, push. Push, push, push.