Weekend Update- Gina Bianchi on the Joys of Motherhood

Gina Bianchi… Heidi Gardner

Colin Jost

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: A new study shows that the COVID baby bump is over as fewer Americans are choosing to have kids. Here to comment on the joys of motherhood is Gina Bianchi, a woman with four daughters and one son?

[Gina Bianchi slides in]

Gina Bianchi: Hi. Hey, sweetheart. Oh, you boys look so nice.

Colin Jost: Thank you, Gina. So you’re a mom of five . Tell us about motherhood.

Gina Bianchi: Oh my god. I love it. I mean, so I’ve got my four daughters. And you know, my daughter, they’re fine. But, my son. Oh my god, I love my son. Okay, so he came over last Sunday. He was hungover. I mean, he’s always hungover. What was he doing? He’s in my fridge. Okay, he’s pulling out ham, turkey, mayonnaise. He’s filling up a cooler. He leaves. Doesn’t say bye. I’m cracking up. And my daughter’s, they say, “You can’t take ma’s food. That’s ma’s food.” I say, “Who cares? Girls, shut up.” Anthony’s 38 years old. He’s a growing boy. Oh, my daughter is so annoying. But my son, oh I love my son.

Colin Jost: Right. I got it. So what would you tell someone that’s on the fence about having kids?

Gina Bianchi: They surprise you every day. Like yesterday, my son. [laughing] Oh, what was he doing? Oh, he was going through my wallet. The kid is pulling out $20, $40, $60 bills. He writes himself a check for 14 grand from my checkbook. Okay. What’s he writing on the memo? Putting up with ma. I’m dying over here. I’m dying over here. My daughters say, “That’s ma’s money. You can’t take ma’s money.” I’m like, “Girls, please. You’re not pretty enough to be this irritating.” But my son, oh my god, I love my son.

Colin Jost: Yeah. No, no, we’ve heard a lot about your son. Well, why don’t you tell me about your daughters?

Gina Bianchi: They’re doctors. But my son, he did this hilarious prank last night where he pretended to rob me at gunpoint.

Colin Jost: Oh, no, that’s terrible.

Gina Bianchi: My daughter’s say “You can’t do that.” My daughters? Argh, they bought me a house. But my son? I mean, I would if I could.

Colin Jost: Okay, all right. Well, yeah. Let’s getting back to the topic of parenthood. Do you think your kids are going to have kids someday?

Gina Bianchi: Oh, please. There’s not a woman out there good enough for my son.

Colin Jost: Okay, so Anthony’s single.

Gina Bianchi: No. He’s been married for two years. And I just have this feeling, okay? That she has given him nothing in bed. Like she completely ignores his balls. What?

Colin Jost: Okay. Why are you thinking about that?

Gina Bianchi: Okay. And I bet she’s obsessed with having an orgasm. Like, no honey, that’s not how it works. When he’s done, you’re done.

Colin Jost: Gina Bianchi, everyone.

Gina Bianchi: I love all my kids equally.

Baby Monitor

Gina… Selena Gomez

Chris Redd

Ego Nwodim

Chloe Fineman

Kyle Mooney

[Starts with a group of friends gathering]

Chris: Dude, your house is sick.

Ego: And you’re sure your parents are gone for the night?

Gina: Oh, totally. It’s their anniversary. So they’ll be fighting in a nice restaurant for the next six hours.

Kyle: That’s so cool.

Chloe: I can’t believe they trust you to be home alone.

Gina: Well, somebody had to watch the twins.

Ego: Wait, the twins?

Gina: Yeah, my baby brother, baby sister. Look, they’re on the baby monitor.

[Cut to video of her brother and sister sleeping. They look too small.]

Chloe: Aww, they’re so sweet.

Ego: I guess I didn’t realize for babysitting.

Chris: Yeah, I thought we were gonna rage tonight.

Gina: No, we could still totally party all night long. On that note, who wants to drink my dad’s beer?

Kyle: Me.

[babies start crying]

Chris: I think babies are up.

Gina: Don’t worry, she’ll bo back to sleep.

Chris: I think she actually just woke up her brother.

[babies crying loudly]

Damg, their eyes are freaky.

Ego: Yeah, looks like when you catch raccoons.

Gina: Guys, come on, let’s focus. Let’s get this party started.

Kyle: Sounds like they’re still crying though.

Chloe: Shouldn’t you go in there and like, comfort them or something?

Gina: How? You’re supposed to like, let themselves sooth.

[babies crying loudly]

Ego: That doesn’t sound like self soothing.

Gina: They’ll be asleep in two seconds. I promise.

Chris: Yeah, I don’t think so. Now they’re doing laps around the crib.

Gina: Oh, that’s good. That will tucker them out.

Chloe: I’m not so sure.

Ego: Yeah, I don’t know how to say this. But it looks like they’re stunting a buck wild.

[the babies are doing backflips]

Gina: I gave them one M&M each before bed,  so they’re loaded with sugar right now.

Ego: Wait, are you allowed to give babies chocolate?

Gina: Yeah, Megan, they’re not dogs. They’re babies. Guys, I thought you wanted a party?

Kyle: We did. But this is definitely more interesting.

Chris: Yeah, looks like they’re fighting.

Gina: Oh, they’re just roughhousing? It’s what siblings do.

Ego: Wait, actually I have a baby brother and sister and I’ve never seen them do that.

[They’re fighting wildly]

Chloe: Oh my god. Do something before her head flies off.

Gina: Oh. Fine. I’ll go give them a piece of bread or something.

Ego: Wait, are babies supposed to eat full pieces of bread?

Chris: I don’t think so. But the babies definitely seem to like it.

Gina: All right, now who wants to focus on getting wasted?

Kyle: Honestly, I don’t want to get drunk anymore. I just want to sit here and watch these babies go hard.

Chris: Wait, what the hell?

[Now there are three babies]

Third baby: Hey, ma.We gotta need bread. Milk! [laughing]This bread is dry.

Ego: Who is that?

Gina: I don’t know. Sometimes he’s there and sometimes he’s not.

Chris: That’s not concerning to you?

Gina: No. Now, who wants to chug hand sanitizer and try out my dad’s underwear?

Kyle: None of us.

Chloe: Gina, Why are you acting so crazy?

Ego: Gina, why are you trying to party so hard? These babies need you.

Gina: Look, guys. This might come as a complete shock to you but I’m not a huge party girl. I’ve never even had a sip of alcohol.

Kyle: Yeah, obviously.

Chris: Wait, what? What are you looking at?

[the babies are looking at the baby monitor and laughing]

Chloe: Is that a baby monitor?

[Ego finds a camera turned at them]

Ego: Oh my god. They’re watching us.

COVID Dinner Discussion

Kate McKinnon

John Mulaney

David… Kenan Thompson

Aidy Bryant

Bowen Yang

Gina… Heidi Gardner

[Starts with three couple having dinner]

Kate: I’m so glad we’re doing this. My favorite restaurant with my favorite people.

John: Honey, I agree, 100%

David: You know what? This is so fun. Dinner is on us.

Bowen: Oh, wow. But um, Keith, you know you can take your mask off the table.

David: Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know I’m wearing it half the time.

Kate: I heard the CDC is gonna lift all mask mandates soon.

Aidy: Oh, yeah. I know.

John: It’s so weird. It’s like COVID is not over, but it’s just gonna stop. I don’t know how I feel about that.

Gina: Oh, you know, that reminds me of this article I wrote–

Bowen: Honey, no one wants to hear about that.

Gina: What? It was in Bloomberg. And I thought it was interesting.

Kate: What? What article?

Gina: Well, it was–

Bowen: Honey!

Gina: It was just saying how mask mandates had, I don’t know, little to no effect on COVID.

[drum roll] [Everyone is nervous now]

I am sorry.. It’s not like I’m anti mask or anything. I just sometimes wonder if any of the things we did actually helped.

Bowen: Gina.

David: No, no. We can talk about this incredibly complicated and emotional topic.

Kate: Yes, yes. Of course. I will start because for instance, while I am so personally relieved that I’m vaccinated–

John: Careful…

Kate: I sometimes wonder if other people who are hesitant–

Aidy: Careful…

Kate: Might not have like a valid not valid–

David: What…?

Kate: Not valid, but understandable–

Bowen: Not tonight…

Kate: Help me.

John: I think what she means is maybe sometimes we are a little overzealous when we condemn–

Aidy: Oh no…

John: I just think that if people are actually losing their jobs–

Aidy: Oh no…

David: Careful, girl.

John: Look, vaccines save lives. Fact. Okay, they stopped the hospitals from being overrun. Fact.

Gina: Where are you up to?

John: But did I have to dump my oldest friend just because he didn’t get–

Kate: No… no… no…

John: A booster?

[drum roll] [David’s tie rolls up. Bowen is checking his blood pressure. Aidy hides her face inside her bag. John pulls out his teeth. Kate shuts her face. Gina snaps the Thanos gauntlet and disappears.]

Bowen: Guys, guys, this is supposed to be fun. Isn’t there’s something happy we can talk about?

Kate: No, no, we started this. We need to finish it. David go make sense of this please.

David: Oh, okay. Well I think the biggest mistake the administration made was not providing more testing.

John: But the UK had done tons of testing and had even more COVID.

Kate: Well, at least Biden finally sent out all those tests over Christmas.

Gina: You mean the two tests for a family of eight that froze in the mail?

Aidy: Okay, well, at least we have the CDC. I mean, they haven’t always been perfect, but the science changed.

David: How does science change? When I make a mistake at work, I don’t get to say the science changed.

Bowen: At least we had outdoor dining.

John: Oh, you mean when they built a smaller restaurant in the street? How was that outdoor?

Kate: Look, I went to a child’s birthday party, self careful. And they did gymnastics in masks, don’t, and then they went into another room and took off their masks to eat pizza. This is the end of me. So did they really need the mask? Oh, no! Did any of us ever need the mask?

All: Noooo!

[scary music] [scary clips playing]

Kate: My god. My god. I’m so glad I said that out loud. Of course we needed the mask. We need it. We may not know for years the full extent of what we’ve been through but we did our best and we’re gonna get through this.

David: Amen.

John: When an anti Vaxxer gets it, I feel happy.

David: No, you don’t. No, you don’t.

Kate: Well, we don’t have to wash our hands anymore. Do we?

John: Ha-ha-ha. I never did.

Supermarket Sweep

David Ruprecht… John Krasinski

James… Chris Redd

Dina… Ego Nwodim

Billy… Andrew Dismukes

Riba… Lauren Holt

Kris… Aidy Bryant

Gina… Kate McKinnon

[Starts with TV show schedule]

Female voice: You’re watching the Game Show Newtork’s 90’s Throwback Night. At 8, it’s Dogs vs Kids. At 9, it’s The Great American Slime Race. But now, it’s a classic 1991 episode of Supermarket Sweep.

[cut to the show set]

David Ruprecht: Hello and welcome back to Supermarket Sweep. It’s jeopardy for food. I’m your host David Ruprecht. Let’s meet today’s contestants. James and Dina. Billy and Reba. And Kris and Gina. Welcome to the show. James and Dina, how do you know each other?

James: We’re dating.

Dina: We’re engaged.

David Ruprecht: Terrific. Billy and Reba?

Billy and Riba: We’re married.

David Ruprecht: Very nice. And Kris and Gina. How do you two know each other?

Gina: We are very good friends.

Kris: Yes. We breed pugs

Gina: We also share clogs.

Kris: Yes. And one bedroom home in Vermont.

David Ruprecht: Super. Alright. You excited for sweep?

Gina: Oh sir, yes sir.

Kris: We have a dozen rescued animals with different unmanageable medical conditions that require separate diets.

Gina: We know the supermarket like the back of our strong women’s hand.

David Ruprecht: Well, that sounds good to me. Okay. Let’s get to the most famous part of Supermarket Sweep, the little quiz about grocery items. Who’s ready? Alright. So, here we go. Laid by a feathered bird on two legs, this breakfast oval is known as…

[Kris and Gina pressing the buzzer button]

Kris: Eggs.

Gina: It’s eggs.

Kris: Eggs.

David Ruprecht: Very good. Kris and Gina.

[Gina and Kris look at each other]

Gina: I love you.

[Gina and Kris kiss]

Kris: You’re my king.

David Ruprecht: Little friendship kiss there. And wow! Eggs are a $100 bonus items. So Gina, go find those eggs.

Gina: Okay, [pointing at Kris] this is for you

Kris: Go my provider.

[Gina runs towards the grocery section of the set and brings in the eggs.]

Gina: I love you.

Kris: Come on. Get those eggs.

Gina: Got em’. God, I missed you.

Kris: I missed you so much.

Gina: That was crazy for me.

Kris: I am sick when you are not here.

Gina: Let’s never do that again.

[Dina presses the buzzer button]

Dina: Egg

David Ruprecht: That is correct but little late. Great job to the gal pals but couples, you’re still in this. Okay, here’s your next clue. If you’re running late–

[Kris and Gina pressing the buzzer button]

Kris and Gina: It’s ketchup.

David Ruprecht: That is correct.

Riba: [to Billy] Why didn’t you say ketchup?

Billy: They’re so fast.

Riba: Don’t yell at me.

Billy: Don’t emasculate me on TV.

David Ruprecht: Oh, trouble in paradise. Now, let’s learn a little bit about our front runners. What do you guys do for work?

Kris: I have a doctorate in grocery riddles.

Gina: That’s right. And I’m a unitarian minister.

David Ruprecht: Neat. What would you do with the money if you win?

Kris: Well, our blind horse needs a full time nurse.

Gina: Yeah. My snow shoes are looking a little ratty.

Kris: Yeah. And I do need titanium ankles because mine are just sort of bone on bone.

David Ruprecht: Ouchie! Well, good luck catching up, couples, because these two are really in sync.

Gina: Yeah, we got a really good thing.

Kris: Yeah. This woman taught me how to trust.

Gina: Sometimes I lie awake praying that we die in the same moment.

[Dina presses the buzzer button]

Dina: [pointing at James] Now, why doesn’t he talk about me like that?

James: What did I do?

Dina: Don’t talk to me.

James: I don’t know what to tell ya’. Pairs of friends like this do really well on our show. In fact, let’s take a moment to give a shoutout to our previous winners this season. They’re Sam and Karen. [both women] Jan and Rebecca. [both women again] Kelly and Rone. [both women again] And Ellen and Portia. [both women again] Alright. Kris and Gina, since you’re in the lead, you’ll get to do the mini-sweep. Now, if you find the specially marked golden blue-berry, you’ll win $5000.

Gina: I got this and I got you, babe.

Kris: Thank you for today and all the days in the future and all the days that we have had forever together.

David Ruprecht: And go!

[Kris and Gina run towards the grocery section. Kris falls down because of her ankle problem.]

Kris: Ouch! Oh god! Oh, no. Oh, my ankles. You gotta go on without me.

Gina: No. I’m never leaving you again.

Kris: You will have to.

Gina: Oh, like hell I do.

David Ruprecht: 40 seconds on the clock.

Kris: Look at me, Gina. You are my world. And all the deaf donkeys we have raised from bottle call, you mother.

David Ruprecht: 20 seconds left, girls.

Gina: [pointing at David Ruprecht] Shut up.

Kris: Yes, you shut up. You shut the hell up and let me talk to my friend. [talking to Gina now] Now, I was gonna wait, but your mother to die before I did this. [Kris pulls out an engagement ring.]

Gina: Oh my god.

Kris: Gina, will you do me the honor of marrying us?

Gina: Yes. By the power vested in my by the store Vermont unitary, you may now kiss the friend.

Kris: Oh baby.

[Kris and Gina start making out on the floor]

David Ruprecht: Well, time’s up and you didn’t find the blueberries. But on the bright side, I’m thinking about asking one of you out. Well, thanks for watching, America. Goodnight.

Another What’s Wrong with This Picture

Elliott Pants … Kenan Thmopson

Gina … Aidy Bryant

Theo … Kyle Mooney

Carrie … Phoebe Waller-Bridge

[Starts with What’s Wrong With This Picture intro]

Announcer: It’s time to play What’s Wrong With This Picture?

[Cheers and applause] [Cut to the host, Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Welcome back to another edition of What’s Wrong With This Picture? I’m Elliott Pants. Let’s play. Rules couldn’t be simpler. You look at the picture. You tell me what’s wrong with it. The winner takes home a lifetime supply of Trojan Lils. Trojan Lils, because your’s still does what the big ones do. Let’s meet our contestant Gina.

[Cut to Gina]

Gina: Hi, I Gina.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: I just said that. Theo.

[Cut to Theo]

Theo: Armed and ready to play.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Armed? That worries me. Carrie.

[Cut to Carrie]

Carrie: I’m the queen looking for her king with the bling-bling.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Well, this is not a dating show. Alright. Let’s take a look at our first puzzle, shall we?

[There is a cartoon picture of boys playing basketball with a football]

Who can tell me what’s wrong with this picture? Take a hard look, guys. Something in this picture isn’t quite right.

Gina: I know.

[Cut to Gina]

Elliott Pants: Gina.

Gina: Something gay happened in the last play. And now it’s weighing on the whole game.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: What does that mean? No. Theo.

[Cut to Theo]

Theo: I hate to say this but the score is 0 because number 12 is slow. Not with legs. Up here.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: My god, no. Look at player number 10.

[Cut to Carrie]

Carrie: Oh, I see. There’s no crack in the booty. The poop goes out the front.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Stop it. Something shouldn’t be there.

[Cut to Gina]

Gina: Oh, number 3 is Ellen DeGeneres. And she’s going to miss her show. But she doesn’t care, because Ellen lives to hoop.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Look at number 10. Look at his ball.

[Cut to Carrie]

Carrie: Ew, you look at it if you like it so much.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: It’s a soccer ball. All right, let’s see the next picture.

[There is a cartoon picture of a teacher and a student]

Theo.

[Cut to Theo]

Theo: Check it. The teacher’s his dad. He knows he’s being doubt-fired. He just don’t know where it goes from here.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: For the love of—just look, what do you see there?

[Cut to Gina]

Gina: The Viagra is kicking in. The teacher tricked him.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Who are you people?

[Cut to Theo]

Theo: Oh, I know. Teacher is explaining the difference between Harvey Weinstein and Aziz Ansari. The student doesn’t want to hear about it anymore.

[Cut to Carrie]

Carrie: I know the answer. Teacher let one rip. And it sounded like sentence. It feels rude not to say something back.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: The doorknob is on the same side as the hinges. I feel like you’re doing this on purpose. All right. Next picture, please.

[Chere is a cartoon picture of a woman sitting in front of an open refrigerator with a saw in it] [Cut to Carrie]

Carrie: He posted a death threat on Facebook. Now, she’s just waiting for the lights to roll in.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: There’s a saw in the fridge.

[Cut to Theo]

Theo: I know. Someone’s talking to her about evolution, but she’s closing her ears. I didn’t come from no chimp. I’m god’s lil’ guy.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: There’s a saw in the fridge.

[Cut to Gia]

Gina: I would like to solve the puzzle. She’s letting the dog lick her under the table. But don’t worry, it’s a stray so it’s not awkward.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Okay. One more [There’s a picture of an astronaut with the US flag, but there’s another moon in the sky] but then we’re taking you straight home.

[Cut to Carrie]

Carrie: There’s two moons.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: I can’t believe it. That’s right.

Carrie: And girlfriend, that suit does nothing for you body. Let us see your ass.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: Honey, your brain is bad.

[Cut to Theo and Carrie]

Theo: I love that you said that. I’m taking you to the makeout room. I’m going to grab some Trojan Lils.

[Cut to Elliott Pants]

Elliott Pants: This is not a dating show. This has been What’s Wrong With This Picture. We got to start vetting these people. That’s what I feel.[

[Ends with an outro]

Graphics Department | Season 44 Episode 17

Kyle Mooney

Dani… Beck Bennett

Ryan… Kit Harrington

Gina… Cecily Strong

Lance… Mikey Day

[Starts with three video game geeks in the office]

Kyle: Ah, my comrades, good-morrow. I’ve returned from my journey. [Passing coffee] Your goblets await.

Dani: Oh, I pray your journey to the kingdom of Duncan was a safe one.

Ryan: Indeed, my lord. And one of the munchkins.

Kyle: I triumphed. Let us feast on their balls.

[Gina walks pass them]

Ryan: Good morning, M’lady. Your smile is—

Gina: No, you don’t talk to me.

Geeks: Apologies, m’lady, apologies, m’lady.

[Lance walks in]

Lance: Hey, folks, if I could have your attention real quick.

[Cut to the geeks]

Kyle: Our lord approaches.

Dani: Let us listen with a quizzical ear and a heart of bravery.

[Cut to Lance]

Lance: Right. So I just wanted to announce that our new employee of the month is Ryan from graphics for his great work [Cut to the geeks] on the new Walmart website. [Ryan walks to Lance to receive the coupon] Nice. Your prize is a free cone from Baskin-Robbins.

[Ryan receives the coupon, then kneels to Lance]

Ryan: Thank you, sire.

Lance: Okay. Don’t do this right now.

Ryan: It’s mine honor to serve the court’s design firm and I will—

Lance: All right. Just get up and get back to work, please. Thank you.

[Ryan walks back to his friends]

Ryan: My fellow comrades, did you hear of my most high honor?

[Kyle and Dani stand up]

Kyle: Do not call me your comrade. For thou is a traitor. ‘Twas I who has developed the color scheme for  thine Walmart home page.

Dani: Ah! You are mistaken here, sir. Does thou for get who suggested that ought to be bubbly letters.

Kyle:  ‘Twas corny, Dani.

Dani: ‘Twas not. ‘Twas awesome.

Ryan: My lords, shall we allow such petty squabbles to fracture our brotherhood of friendship?

Kyle: Aye, we shall. Let us battle, you swine.

Dani: So be it.

[The geeks get ready to battle, like in the video games]

I cast a fireball at you.

Ryan: I dodge it. And remind you of our latest—at Ye- old hard rock café. I Trade blows with a cannonball.

Dani: I deflect your attack with my oaken shield. And notice, thou seems to forget that I venomed my side of the bill already. Throw a fireball at J.B.

Kyle: Ah, Dani, you snake. I call upon mother nature and strike you both down with blue rain.

Ryan: Forcefield.

Dani: Ah! I am hurt. But I eat a berry to replenish my health. And I strike you both with a giant’s J.

Ryan: I fire an arrow.

Dani: I block it.

Ryan: I fire again.

Dani: I block again.

Kyle: I play my flute. It’s siren’s song, lulls you to sleep.

Ryan: I strike.

Dani: I block.

Kyle: I strike.

Ryan: I block.

[Lance walks into their game]

Lance: Guys! What the hell is going on? Stop fooling around and get back to work, please.

[Cut to the geeks]

Kyle: Nay, we are honor-bound to fight for the treasure of employee of the month.

Ryan: If you oppose this, we shall destroy you.

[Cut to Lance]

Lance: Okay, well, clearly giving Ryan the award was a problem so I’m just going to give it to Gina instead.

[Cut to everyone]

Dani: No, I summon and earth wall to block you.

Lance: Oh, my god!

Dani: And cast a clarity spell over the office revealing that you masturbate under the stairwell.

[Cut to Gina]

Gina: Lance, is that true?

Lance: What? No! Of course, not. It’s just their stupid game.

[Cut to the geeks]

Kyle: I use my Jacob’s cloak which renders me invisible but then I reappear and summon a picture of Ye Olde masturbation. [Showing a picture of Mikey masturbating in office] [Cut toe verybody]

Lance: What? No. No, you give me that. [Mikey seizes the picture]

Dani: Duplication spell. [Dani Takes the same picture out]

Lance: Stop it, okay? You can all be employee of the month.

[Cut to the geeks]

Dani: Victory! Lance the super visor has honored us all. I crown thee.

Ryan: I crown thee.

Kyle: I crown thee, as well. Come, let us celebrate upon yonder Hard Rock face.

[Cut to everybody. The geeks leave the office.]

Dani: Huzzah!

Ryan: Huzzah!

Ryan: So, they just get to leave in the middle of the day?

Lance: Yeah, remember, they have all these pictures of me masturbating at work.

Gina: Oh, right. Yeah.