Tyler… Bobby Moynihan
Nicholson… Jay Pharoah
Riley… Sasheer Zamata
Chloe… Ariana Grande[Starts with Tidal Streaming Music Headquarters]
Kenan: Alright. It’s time for the three PM tidal system’s check. Drake’s stream.
Tyler: Running smooth sir.
Nicholson: No lag time, full bit-rate sir.
Kenan: Billy Joel
Riley: No fire started over here, sir.
Kenan: Swinging to miss, Danielson.[Chloe walks in]
Chloe: Here’s your coffee, sir.
Kenan: Oh, thank you, Chloe. Well, it looks like it’s another incident free day here at Tidal Music Streaming.[The lights go off]
What the hell was that?
Tyler: Looks like the power’s out, sir.
Riley: Backup generators, up and running.
Kenan: Alright, let’s do systems check. One Direction?
Tyler: All good, sir.
Kenan: Kendrick Lamar?
Nicholson: Coming throughout and clear.
Kenan: Britney Spears?
Riley: Looks like we’re gonna lose Britney Spears stream in thirty seconds.
Kenan: We already beefed the Kanye and Rihanna album releases! Tyler, we cannot afford another glitch. What do we do?
Tyler: Sir, I heard Chloe the intern singing some Britney Spears in the hallway. Is that true, Chloe? Can you sing like Britney Spears?[Chloe looking nervous]
Chloe: Kind of.
Kenan: Riley, open the channel. Chloe, the future of Tidal is in your hands.
Chloe: But I’m shy.
Kenan: Well, try, dammit! People need their Britney Spears.[music playing]
Chloe: [singing] Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know
That something wasn’t right here?
Oh baby, baby, I shouldn’t have let you go
And now you’re out of sight, yeah
Riley: Back on. Britney Spears is up and running.
Kenan: That was close. Well done, Chloe.
Tyler: Oh, no sir. We are about to lose the Shakira stream.
Nicholson: Perfect! Chloe’s Hispanic.
Chloe: That’s a common mistake. I’m actually just very, very Italian.
Kenan: Well, can you do Shakira?
Chloe: I can try.[music playing] [singing] Lo-le-lo-le-lo-le
Can’t you see
I’m at your feet
We’re meant to be together
I’ll be there and you’ll be near
And that’s the deal my dear [beep beep]
Riley: Back on. Shakira is online and streaming.
Kenan: Job well done. Job well done. You need some water?
Nicholson: Old time, sir. Ariana Grande channel is down.
Kenan: Chloe. Can you do Ariana Grande?
Chloe: Nay, sorry, not a big fan.
Tyler: Oh, forget it sir. Because we just lost a big one. Rihanna’s down.
Kenan: Chloe, please, Tidal needs Rihanna.[music playing] [singing] Work, work, work, work, work, work
He said me haffi
Work, work, work, work, work, work
He see me do mi
Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt
So me put in
Work, work, work, work, work, work [beep beep]
Tyler: Back on. The Rihanna stream is re-buffered and good to go.
Kenan: Was that okay? I truly don’t know what she’s saying.
Kenan: Ay, nobody does.
Riley: I got bad news, boss. The 90s Diva’s playlist is glitching.
Kenan: Can you handle it Chloe? I mean that’s a lot of women.
Chloe: There’s only one way to find out.
Riley: We just lost Celine Dion[music playing] Kenan: [singing] There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it
Right outside the window [beep beep]
Riley: Back on. Celine Dion is at onehundre%. But now we’re losing Whitney Houston.
Kenan: Oh, come on. Take a song.[music playing]
Chloe: [singing] And I wish you joy
But above all this
I wish you love
Will always love you
Will always love you
Riley: Back on. The power’s fully restored.
Tyler: All streams are up and running.
Kenan: Ah! You did it Chloe. Jay Z would be proud.
Nicholson: Yeah! You bet I am. [Nicholson wears his hat] Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Kenan: Nicholson, you was Jay-Z this whole time?
Nicholson: Ts-yeah. You know, I wanted to see how my company was doing out of that boss style, you know? Yo Chloe, you single handedly just saved Tidal. You said you were just an intern?
Nicholson: Yeah, that’s great. Can you get me a vince cappuccino?
Tyler: Yeah, I’ll take a Grande.[everybody starts demanding coffee so Chloe runs away]