Season 45 Archives - Page 12 of 29 - SNL Transcripts Tonight

Family Charades

Chris Redd

Paul… RuPaul

Kate McKinnon

Frank… Beck Bennett

Kyle Mooney

Heidi Gardner

Sheila… Ego Nwodim

Kenan Thompson

[Starts with neighbors sitting in a hall after dinner]

Chris: You guys, dinner was amazing.

Paul: Is everyone in the neighborhood as nice as you?

Kate: Oh, you guys are sweet. We just wanted to give you a warm welcome.

Frank: Ay, you know, after dinner we normally play games.

Kyle: Yeah. You guys wanna play charades?

Everybody: Yeah.

Heidi: Okay. What are the teams?

Sheila: Should we do family versus family?

Kenan: Oh, well, more importantly, what are the stakes?

[Cut to Frank and Kate]

Frank: $1,000?

Kate: Frank!

Frank: Okay, well, too low? 5,000?

[Cut to everybody. Kate, Frank, Kyle and Heidi are sitting together as Barren family team. Chris, Paul, Sheila and Kenan are together as Johnson family team.]

Sheila: Okay. Alright, high stake charades. I like it. Alright, you guys go first.

[Cut to Barren family]

Kate: Alright, Barren family. Let’s lock in. I’m the start. Ready?

[Kate starts trying to tell her team using her actions only]

Kyle: Three words.

Frank: It’s a movie.

Heidi: Second word.

Kyle: Running.

Frank: Third word.

Heidi: Man. Running man!

Frank: Yes!

Kyle: Yes!

[The Barren family are celebrating]

[Cut to Johnson family]

Paul: Don’t get too excited. The Johnson family is pretty darn good at charades.

Kenan: Yeah, that’s right. Sheila, why don’t you kick us all, babe?

Sheila: Yeah. Watch how it’s done. [Sheila stands to give her team hints] Three words.

Kate: No talking.

Sheila: Oh, you see. I didn’t interrupt you sis. So, let me have my round.

Kate: Okay. The one rule is that–

Sheila: Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! I’m opening this and I’m reading this coz..

Chris: A book!

Sheila: Yes! Yes! Okay. So, we’re gonna skip the first word coz it’s just ‘The’, okay? Alright. Second word. Not big, rhymes with skittle.

Kenan: Little!

Sheila: Yes! Yes! That’s correct. That’s right! That’s right.

[Cut to Barren family]

Heidi: What’s happening?

Kyle: I– I don’t know.

[Cut to Johnson family]

Chris: What’s happening is you’re getting your ass whooped in charades.

Sheila: Okay! Okay! Third word. Purple rain, purple rain!

Paul: Prince! The little prince!

Sheila: Yeah!

[The Johnson family are celebrating]

Chris: Rolling baby!

Kenan: That’s my girl!

[Cut to Barren family]

Kate: There seems to be some confusion about the rules.

Frank: Yeah. Yeah. Maybe let’s just call that a practice round. There were some discrepancies in that round.

[Cut to Johnson family]

Paul: Well, y’all was trolling us.

Sheila: Um-hmm. And those who kept talking.

Kenan: Yeah, no talking. This is charades.

[Cut to Barren family become confused]

[Cut to Johnson family]

Paul: That was practice. This is real. Okay?

[Paul stands up to give his team hints]

Alright. Um, four words. And it’s a movie. And the first word’s just a number. So, just keep that in mind, okay?

[Cut to the Barren family]

Kate: See, but you can’t do that though. You’re supposed to mime it. There’s no words.

[Cut to everybody]

Paul: Oh, okay. Got it.

[Paul shows his own face, then points at Frank]

Johnson family: 12 years of slave. Oh!

[Johnson family are celebrating]

[Cut to Frank]

Frank: What about me made you think of 12 years of slave?

[Cut to the Johnson family]

Kenan: I mean, come on!

[Cut to Barren family]

Heidi: No, you guys don’t get it. You have to mime everything. Like for that last round, you should have gone. [Heidi is giving an example]

Paul: Arsenio Hall!

[Cut to Heidi]

Heidi: No. I’m looking for a movie.

[Cut to Johnson family]

Chris: A movie with Arsenio Hall. Oh! Come to America!

Kenan: Oh, man! We are like five to nothing!

[Cut to Barren family]

Kate: Okay. You’re also not allowed to point to anyone or anything in the room.

[Cut to Johnson family]

Sheila: Okay, I have literally never heard that.

[Cut to Barren family]

Kyle: These are standard rules. Go again. Try to follow them this time.

[Cut to Johnson family. Kenan walking forward.]

Kenan: Hey, y’all starting to look like some sort of losers. But I’m happy to try it your way. Alright, here we go. [Kenan mimes just like Heidi before]

Sheila: It’s not Arsenio Hall but it’s a movie.

Kenan: Um-hmm.

[Kenan starts giving hints. He acts like he’s laughing, crying and then using a calculator.]

Paul: Bad boys for life!

Kenan: Yeah!

Chris: Oh! Looking like a blow out, baby!

[Cut to Barren family]

Heidi: How did they possibly get that?

[Cut to Johnson family]

Sheila: Oh, girl, that was easy. He spelled it out. It was a movie that made you laugh, made you cry and afterwards made you google ‘When did Martin Lawrence get old as hell?

[Cut to Barren family]

Kate: Okay, I guess that technically counts as a point.

Kyle: That’s not how you play charades! You have to go word by word like this, [miming] Bad! Boys! For! Life!

[Cut to Johnson family. They are all laughing out loud.]

Kenan: What the hell was that?

Chris: Nobody knows. Okay, my turn.

[Chris stands up]

[Cut to Barren family]

Frank: How come they just keep going?

[Cut to Johnson family]

Chris: Aite, here we go.

[Chris starts miming]

Sheila: A movie!

Chris: Uh-huh!

Paul: 14 words.

Chris: Yeah.

[Cut to Heidi]

Heidi: 14 words? This one’s gonna take forever.

[Cut to Johnson family]

Chris: No, it won’t. I’ll get in two seconds.

[Chris starts miming]

Sheila: Oh, he’s making Marlon Wayans face. Oh!

Johnson family: Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood!

Chris: Ah!

[Cut to everybody]

Kenan: Yeah! Ah!

Chris: Now, that’s enough to get our $5,000.

Kenan: Yeah, and this is our house now, so you all can leave.

Chris: Bye-bye.

Kenan: Bye-bye!

Check-Splitting

Waitress… Chloe Fineman

Chris Redd

Kyle Mooney

Kandis… Aidy Bryant

Heidi Gardner

Mary… Cecily Strong

Beth… RuPaul

[Starts with a waitress handing over the check to a group in a restaurant.]

Waitress: Okay, guys. No rush. Just gonna leave the check.

Chris: Well, thank you.

Kyle: Hang on, birthday boy. You’re not paying a dime.

[Cut to Kyle and Kandis]

Kandis: Yes. Let’s all of us, the rest of us, we’re gonna split it. Is that okay with everyone?

[Cut to Chris and Heidi]

Heidi: Oh, well, I didn’t have wine. Oh, but you know what? Who cares? It’s fine.

[Cut to Kyle and Kandis]

Kandis: Yeah, it’s just easier if you’re okay with that. I mean, and since we all have places to go, I think.

[Cut to Chris and Heidi]

Heidi: Um, no. It’s totally fine.

[Cut to Mary and Beth]

Mary: Excuse me! Now the last thing I want is you call a fuss. But I cannot sit here and silence for one more moment while this unequal, unjust action unfolds!

Kandis: Mary, Beth, is there a problem?

Mary: Remind me, what is your name again?

[Cut to Kandis]

Kandis: Seriously? I’m your supervisor. It’s Kandis.

[Cut to Mary and Beth]

Beth: Well, Kandis, I think you ought to ask yourself if you’re a supervisor or a taker of advantages of people.

[Cut to Kyle and Kandis]

Kyle: I’m sorry. I’m not following.

[Cut to Mary and Beth]

Mary: Well, let me draw a map for your thoughts then. You are storming on a woman to pay for wine that she did not have.

Beth: And further most, expect her to quietly sit and roll over like a prostitute from the Amsterdam district, I think not!

[Cut to Kyle and Kandis]

Kyle: You two haven’t spoken a word all night and now you’re like, mad?

[Cut to Chris and Heidi]

Chris: Honestly, I can pay. I have a real birthday party to go to. So?

[Cut to Mary and Beth]

Mary: No one’s going anywhere. Because this situation has become un-tonable!

[Cut to Kyle and Kandis]

Kyle: Actually, I am gonna go because my babysitter leaves at eight whether I’m there or not.

[Cut to everybody. Kyle leaves.]

Beth: Well, fine! He left. But that’s the only one who leaves this table. Because the rest of you will stay and hear what you need to hear. Lock the doors!

[Cut to the waitress]

Waitress: You got it!

[Cut to Kandis]

Kandis: What?

[Cut to everybody]

Mary: You’re going to hear the story of this woman that you’ve all decided as too pathetic to be cheated with dignity!

Heidi: Whoa!

Beth: Because every night this woman goes home to nothing and nothing!

Mary: Empty apartment. Empty bed. Empty head. And now you predators want to empty her purse as well.

Beth: She want to Sephora on her lunch break to get eyelashes put on top of her own eyelashes.

[Heidi is getting embarrassed]

Hoping beyond all reason that maybe someone would become a true friend, she has none.

Heidi: Oh, my god!

[Heidi tries to stand but Mary and Beth push her back to the seat]

Mary: And again, might I remind you that she makes much less than everyone at this table.

Heidi: I do?

[Cut to Kandis]

Kandis: Yes, but they weren’t supposed to tell you that.

[Cut to Mary, Beth and Heidi]

Heidi: Okay, also, I have friends.

Mary: [interrupting] Bop-bop-bop! Kandis, don’t worry about Kandis. Why don’t you leave Kandis to me.

[Cut to Kandis]

Kandis: Seriously guys, I will pay the whole bill. It’s no big deal.

[Cut to Mary, Beth and Heidi]

Mary: Oh! Shall we all applaud queen Kandis? The queen of kindness and generosity?

[Cut to Kandis]

Kandis: I wasn’t trying to be–

[Cut to Mary, Beth and Heidi]

Beth: And I want the entire restaurant to hear this.

[Cut to everybody in the restaurant]

Everyone turn to me! This woman who you so easily throw away like trash, do you know what she did today? Do you know what she did that none of you took the time to notice but us? She has been silently releasing wind at this dinner and said nothing because she didn’t want to miss a moment or steal any of the birthday attention.

Everybody: Wow!

Mary: Yes! So next time you decide that it’s okay to take advantage of the advantage-less, remind yourself that they’re but for the grace of god go you!

Beth: And Kandis, just so you know, and so your children will know, tonight is the night the lights went out in Georgia.

[The other people are clapping]

[Mary and Beth leave]

[Cut to Kandis]

Kandis: So, I guess they’re not gonna pay?

[Cut to Heidi]

Heidi: No, they left. And they’re temps, right?

[Cut to Chris]

Chris: Yeah, just for a week!

[The End]

Chad & RuPaul

RuPaul

Dante… Mikey Day

Chad… Pete Davidson

[Starts with RuPaul posing for photo shoot]

Dante: [taking pictures] Oh, just like that. Switch it up. Oh! Ah! Yes! Oh, gorgeous girl.

RuPaul: Hold on! Dante, can we stop?

Dante: What’s wrong, Ru? You look gorgeous.

RuPaul: I know I do. But, me on another cover of Drag magazine? I mean, it’s redundant!

Dante: Who else would it be, girl? You are Drag!

RuPaul: I mean, that’s the problem. Where is the next generation? Drag needs someone new. Someone like… [looks away] Like that. Who are you?

[Cut to Chad carrying a reflection board.]

Chad: Chad!

[Cut to RuPaul]

RuPaul: Everyone, take five! Leave me with the future of Drag.

Dante: Okay. Um, I guess we’re taking five.

[Everybody leaves except RuPaul and Chad]

[RuPaul walks to Chad]

RuPaul: Um, that face! Those cheekbones! These eyes. There’s something dynamic about you boy!

Chad: Okay!

RuPaul: Have you ever done drag?

Chad: Nah! Just weed and pills.

RuPaul: There’s a queen inside of you, Chad. All she needs is a crown. Get my jest?

Chad: Ha-ha, jest.

RuPaul: Time to get you work, bitch! Let’s go. Step one, the tuck. No bulge, no bump. The junk goes in the trunk.

[Chad walks out wearing nothing but a white underwear.]

Oh, Chad! You need to tape it down and back. Not up and front.

Chad: Oh, my bad!

RuPaul: That said, you have a magnificent penis.

Chad: Oh, thank you.

RuPaul: Step two, the look.

[Chad walking wearing women’s dress]

Oh! How do you feel?

Chad: Gay!

RuPaul: Perfect! Now, the look is incomplete without the–

[Chad is shaking the breast part of the dress.]

Chad! Leave the chicken cutlets alone, child! You gonna pop your tug!

Chad: Okay!

RuPaul: Now, Chad! We need to beat–

Chad: Off?

RuPaul: Chad, we need to beat your face. For the gods! Step three, the face.

[Cut to RuPaul putting some make up on Chad. Chad is wearing fake breasts.]

May I?

Chad: Okay!

RuPaul: Oh, that is definitely your color, Chad! Now, pop your lips like you’re about to kiss.

[Chad pouts and then starts sticking his tongue out]

Wow! Wow! Wow! Chad, darling! I’m a married man.

Chad: You’re a man?

RuPaul: Did you not know that?

Chad: No.

RuPaul: Huh! The look is only half the battle. Now, you need to own it. Baby, it is time to feel the fantasy, like this.

[RuPaul posing with glamour]

Hah! Now, you’re turn, Chad!

[Cut to Chad all looking like a woman]

Find a song that speaks to the new you. You know, the queen that you really are. The time has come for you to lipsync for your life!

Chad: Okay!

[RuPaul leaves the stage and Dante goes up.]

[Chad starts dancing awkwardly in hiphop beat]

RuPaul: Work it girl! Oh, you gonna do that? Ha-ha! I love it! Oh! You’re goddess. You’re perfection! 10. 10’s across the board. Now, let me see you sissy that wob.

[Chad falls on the table]

Oh, [bleep] ! Oh, my goodness! Are you okay, Chad?

Chad: All good.

RuPaul: Chad, no, that wasn’t good, honey. Look, I can mold you into the next RuPaul and if you wanna be the best, you gotta be willing to work your padded ass off! So, I’ll ask you one more time, Chad. Do you want to be the greatest Drag Queen in the world?

Chad: Nah!

RuPaul: Then you should turn and walk away.

Chad: Okay! Bye RuPaul.

[Chad walks away]

[Cut to RuPaul. Dante walks in.]

Dante: Should I go–

RuPaul: Shh! Some horses were born to run wild!

[Cut to Drag magazine with Chad on it’s cover page.]

[The End]

Boop-it

Mikey Day

Tyler… Chris Redd

Jenna… Chloe Fineman

Mark… Beck Bennett

Dietra… Heidi Gardner

[Starts with black and white video of Mikey, Tyler and Jenna playing chess and getting bored.]

Female voice: Tired of the same old games? Then get ready for…

[The black and white video is now color video]

[Mikey, Tyler and Jenna getting excited with boop-it on their table]

Kids: Huh! Boop-it!

Female voice: A memory building game that’s fun for the whole family. all you gotta do is…

Mikey: Boop-it. Twist-it. Honk-it. Squish-it.

Jenna: Nice!

Female voice: Made for kids of all ages.

[Mark walks in. He’s an adult.]

Mark: Can I try?

Mikey: Yeah, go for it, dad! Boop-it!

[wrong answer buzzer]

Kids: Oh! Nice try, dad!

Tyler: Maybe next time, Mr. Williams. Boop-it!

[Mark leaves it]

Female voice: Nine different actions, the possibilities are endless.

Tyler: Honk-it. Smush-it. Boop-it!

Female voice: But don’t get one wrong.

[Jenna presses the wrong button]

[wrong answer buzzer]

Kids: Oh!

[Mark walks in]

Mark: Maybe next time, Jenna! Hah!

[Mark leaves again]

Female voice: See who can boop-it best, and be the boop-it boss.

[Mark walks in again]

Mark: My turn. Jenny just went. I was after her.

[Mark takes away the game]

Mikey: I think it’s Tyler’s turn, dad!

Mark: Tyler, your mom just called. She wants you to go home. She wants you home.

Tyler: She does?

Mark: Yeah, bye! See ya! There’s the door.

Jenna: Bye Tyler!

Mark: Now that I can actually concentrate, I can do it.

Female voice: Concentration’s the name of the game when you…

Mikey: Twist-it.

[Mark presses the button]

[wrong answer buzzer]

Mark: Whatever! Piece of [bleep] ! I’m going in.

Female voice: The game is so fun, you won’t be able to put it down.

[Mark is playing and the kids are just watching]

Mark: It’s almost easy, but it’s so good!

Mikey: Go, dad!

Jenna: Yeah!

Mark: Get Tyler back here. He should see this.

[Cut to Dietra looking at Mark]

Dietra: Mark!

Mark: Dammit, Dietra! You messed me up!

Dietra: You were supposed to drop the kids off two hours ago.

[Mark with a whiskey on his one hand and boop-it on the other hand]

Mark: Well, I couldn’t do that, could I?

Dietra: Guys, car!

[The kids get ready to leave]

Mikey: Bye dad!

[Mikey tries to take the boop-it, but Mark doesn’t let him take it.]

Dietra: Have they eaten?

[Cut to Mark quietly sipping his whiskey]

Goodnight, Mark!

Mark: No, wait! Dietra, let’s give it one more try, baby!

Dietra: Oh, god!

Female voice: The boop-it!

[Cut to Mark playing boop-it alone. Is throws away the boop-it and starts crying.]

[The End]

Weekend Update Harvey Weinstein’s Trial & Super Bowl LIV

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There’s a picture of Harvey Weinstein using the walker.]

Colin Jost: Harvey Weinstein once again showed up to a court appearance using a walker. And then like Willy Wonka, he dropped the walker, did a somersault and ejaculated into a plant.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Super Bowl, San Francisco and Kansas city logos at left top corner.]

Michael Che: [laughing] Tomorrow, Super Bowl pit San Francisco versus Kansas city. Hey, just like the election. I don’t know why that’s sad.

[Picture changes to Larry Holmes and Gerry Cooney]

Boxers Larry Holmes and Gerry Cooney are in talks for a rematch nearly 40 years after they last fought. The fight will consist of 10 rounds of boxing and 80 bathroom breaks. It will be the first fight decided by the natural causes.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Greece flag and Katerina Sakellaropoulou at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Greece has elected it’s first ever female president and of course the country is already [Picture changes to Parthenon structure] falling apart!

Michael Che: I liked it.

[Picture changes to Krispy Kreme doughnuts logo]

Colin Jost: Yeah. Krispy Kreme doughnuts announced that it’s opening a flagship store in Time Square. It’s perfect because every time I walk through Time Square, I step in something that can best be described as Krispy Kreme.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a weighing machine at right top corner.]

Michael Che: Wild life experts in England say that an extremely obese owl has been put on a strict diet and has been released back into the wild. Unfortunately, it’s back on it’s old diet of just [picture changes to tootsie pops owl] tootsie pops.

[Picture changes to a heart shaped chocolate box and roses]

A hotel in Canada if offering couples a free night if they check-in on valentine’s day and conceive a baby during their stay. They’re hoping it will get fellas to stop aiming for the blankets. Well, I guess you don’t wanna know. The hotel’s name is the ‘Leave It INN’.

Weekend Update End of Impeachment Trial

Colin Jost

Michael Che

[Starts with Weekend Update intro]

Announcer: It’s Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

[cheers and applause]
[Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che in their news set.]

Colin Jost: Good evening everyone.

Michael Che: Welcome to Weekend Update. I’m Michael Che.

Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of impeachment at left top corner.]

Well, the impeachment trial is basically over. As a sense, I could have said two weeks ago when the trial began. We didn’t even get to hear any of the witnesses in this trial. And by the way, look the witnesses we could have had. You don’t wanna hear anything from thee guys? They look like two characters in a video game who give you the best information. My questions for them aren’t even about Trump. My questions are like, “What’s your deal? Walk us through a typical day. What kind of food do you eat? Is it human food?”

[Picture changes to Donald Trump and United States Capitol]

It was reported that President Trump pushed for the vote to be on Tuesday so that he could boast about his acquittal during the state of the union, but now experts are saying that Trump might strike a more humble tone. And we actually have an advance copy of his speech.

[Cut to a video clip of a man b-boying in front of the United States Capitol. The boy’s face is edited into Donald Trump’s face.]

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a calendar marked in February at right top corner.]

Michael Che: Ah! What better way to start black history month than to be failed by the justice system. Why was this impeachment ever a good idea? We would have been better off just yelling, “Citizens arrest!” [Picture changes to Alan Dershowitz] And why didn’t we get Alan Dershowitz? This dude was amazing. He somehow convinced the court that a president should be allowed to break the law as long as it’s good for the country. That’s like telling your girl you only cheated to practice being good at sex for her. You know what? That’s it! I’m a republican now. I’m tired of losing. I can’t be a democrat and a Knicks fan. This is too much heart rate, man!

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Ken Starr at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Trump’s other attorney was Clinton impeachment prosecutor Ken Starr who said that, “Presidential impeachment has become a weapon to be wielded against one’s political opponent.” Which is a “So hypocritical even a guy like Ken Starr has to be ashamed to make it.” Maybe that’s why he showed up to the trial looking like [Picture changes to Ken Starr at the day of impeachment] a priest walking into a porno theater.

[Picture changes to John Bolton]

In a new book, John Bolton claims that last August, President Trump told him directly that he was holding up aid to Ukraine until they investigate the Bidens. Hey guys, what’s up with the books? When there’s an emergency, just tell us right away. If you’re friend’s about to get murdered, you don’t go off and right a novel called, “The killer behind you”.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Palestinian flag and Mahmoud Abbas at right top corner.]

Michael Che: The Palestinian president has rejected Trump’s middle east peace plan saying “1,000 nos to the deal.” Incidentally, 1,000 nos is what Trump calls consent.

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Jared Kushner at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: President Trump’s son in law Jared Kushner who I think played Lube Man in Watchman, he has been working on middle east peace plan for nearly three years. So, I’m sure he is evenly considered the feelings on both sides.

[Cut to Jared Kushner speaking on CNN news]

Jared Kushner: The Palestinian leadership have to ask themselves a question. Do they wanna have a state? Do they wanna have a better life? If they don’t, then they’re gonna screw up another opportunity like they have screwed up every other opportunity that they’ve ever had in their existence.

[Cut to Colin Jost]

Colin Jost: What? Sounds like someone’s dad is about to bulldoze the community center. That clip is so gross. I have never seen a self entitled, over confident white guy, and I’m me.

[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Amy Klobuchar at right top corner.]

Michael Che: Senator Amy Klobuchar has been getting a lot of attention during Iowa Caucuses for bringing her families Tater Tot Hot Dish to event. Co-incidentally, Tater Tot Hot Dish is the name of the guy [Picture changes to Joe Biden] Joe Biden wrestled at a public pool in 1962

[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Mike Pompeo at left top corner.]

Colin Jost: Secretary of State Mike Pompeo screamed at an NPR reporter because she asked him questions about the Ukraine scandal. Then Pompeo demanded that the reporter point out Ukraine on a map which she easily did. Worse, Pompeo then responded, “Wait, that one is Ukraine?”

Weekend Update Dr. Angie Hynes on Black History Month

Colin Jost

Dr. Angie Hynes… Ego Nwodim

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: Well, today marks the first day of black history month and here to highlight some lesser known historical figures is professor of African-American studies at Rutger University, Dr. Angie Hynes.

[Dr. Angie Hynes slides in]

Dr. Angie Hynes: Alright! Hello. Hello. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. It is such an honor.

Colin Jost: Black history month, and it’s pretty cool. It’s a leap year. So, we get one more day to celebrate.

Dr. Angie Hynes: [looking at Colin Jost with anger] Yeah, we do. [Michael Che is laughing]

[Cut to Dr. Angie Hynes] Now, when we think about black history month, we usually think of the big ones. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Maya Angelou. But how many of you know about Cynthia Woods? [Cut to Dr. Angie Hynes and Colin Jost] Any idea what she did, Colin?

Colin Jost: No, I don’t think I’m familiar.

[Cut to Dr. Angie Hynes]

Dr. Angie Hynes: Cynthia is a bitch I thought was my friend till she showed up at my wedding wearing all white. Even I felt bad about wearing white. But that bitch ain’t have no qualms.

[laughter]