Stories from the Show- SNL At Home

[Starts with different videos of news reporting about “SNL At Home.”]

Man: Getting to laugh his weekend, tune in to SNL. It is going remote.

[Cut to another news]

Man: Saturday Night Live returns with all new episode from home.

[Cut to another news]

Woman: It’s going to be fascinating to see them in their element in their home.

[Cut to another news]

Man: I can’t wait to see how they pull that off.

[Cut to Pete Davidson at home.]

Pete Davidson: Initially, I was like, “Oh, man. This is going to suck.” [laughing] [Cut to “Stories From The Show- And SNL Series” video bumper.] [Cut to the ending of Daniel Craig’s SNL episode.] [audience cheering]

Daniel Craig: I’m Daniel Craig. This has been Saturday Night Live. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Cut to Mikey Day at home.]

Mikey Day: That last show, it didn’t feel like, we wouldn’t be coming back. There was no indication that that would kind of be out live show season finale.

[Cut to Pete Davidson.]

Pete Davidson: I think I got an email that was just sent to everybody and they were like, “Hey, we’re going to do it at home now.

[Cut to Mikey Day.]

Mikey Day: I remember being a little perplexed as to how we would do it.

[Cut to Anna Drezen at home.]

Anna Drezen: SNL’s so much chaos. So, one sort of grounding force we have is the audience.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim at home.]

Ego Nwodim: We do a multi cam live sketch show. So, we feed off of the studio audience.

[Cut to a part of a news sketch ‘Mid-Day News’ with Phoebe Waller-Bridge.]

Phoebe Waller-Bridge: The suspect described as a white male–

Kenan Thompson: Whooow!

Ego Nwodim: Love it!

[Kenan and Ego doing high-five.] [Cut to Kenan Thompson at home.]

Kenan Thompson: The show has always been at 8H. We’ve always done it at 30 Rock.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: But if everyone else is in, I am in and I’m excited. Coz what else am I doing? I’m home.

[Cut to Mikey Day]

Mikey Day: This equipment would arrive at our house. And we’d be like, “What is this? I guess there’s a sketch involving a green screen.” [Cut to Mikey Day fixing camera and his green screen] So, now we have a green screen.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: For the first show, we did a Zoom table read.

[Cut to SNL Table Read show.]

Kenan: I hope you guys enjoy our table read here and we’ll see what we come up with on Saturday. This is crazy.

[Cut to Ego Ngodim}

Ego Nwodim: And one of the sketches we read at the table was the dating show.

[Cut to Beck Bennett from the sketch “How Low Will You Go?”]

Beck Bennett: Hello and welcome to “How Low Will You Go?”

[Cut to Mikey Day]

Mikey Day: The most surreal moment, there was a dating show. I got up and stood on the side of my little computer area waiting for my cue as they were doing the sketch on Zoom. And it feels kind of like, the normal show, you’re waiting for your cue.

[Cut to Mikey Day from the sketch “How Low Will You Go?”]

I just remember having a distinct moment thinking like, “I will remember this forever.

[Cut to Heidi Gardner setting up the equipments at her home.]

Heidi Gardner: You’re setting up a ring light and the green screen and all these things that you don’t usually do. So, then by the time you’re shooting the thing, you’re just overwhelmed.

[Cut to Anna Drezen]

Anna Drezen: It was also crazy because our first show back, Hal Willner died.I just like, can’t picture working on the sketch without talking to him. It was very difficult.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: This was challenging. It was hard but we were in it together. And that was really nice.

[Cut to Bowen Yang at home]

Bowen Yang: For the SoulCycle sketch, my next door neighbor yelled lines in response to my lines.

[Cut to Bowen Yang from the sketch SoulCycle from home.]

Bowen Yang in sketch: It’s crazy to think that people can be watching this anywhere from Los Angeles to California.

[Cut to Bowen Yang]

Bowen Yang: I heard my neighbor say, “Los Angeles is in California.” Like, they didn’t get that I was shooting a sketch. I knocked on their door. I was just like, “We’re shooting this thing. I apologize. It won’t happen again.” But maybe it will happen again in two weeks.

[Cut to Pete Davidson]

Pete Davidson: The first thin I did was I did the Drake song and the Andre 2000 song. It was super weird. We would go outside and dance in the middle of the street. And then like, my neighbor would come and get his mail and just look up. And I’d be like, [smiling] “SNL at home. Ha-ha-ha.”

I had this other song that I was working on that I just on a whim sent to Sandler, and he ended up liking it. And then, he was just like, “I’m gonna do a verse on this.” And I was like, “Holy [bleep]. This is crazy.” And that is, by far, my favorite SNL moment that I’ve ever had for sure.

[Cut to Heidi Gardner.]

Heidi Gardner: It got better as the weeks went on.

[Cut to a sketch “FaceTime with Rudd”]

Mandy: Hello?

Paul Rudd: Mandy?

Mandy: Yeah. Mandy.

[Cut to Heidi Gardner.]

Heidi Gardner: I guess slowly, things just stopped being as overwhelming.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: And then the second one, we cranked it up a notch because now we had time to send wigs out and send costumes and it was obvious in that second episode.

[Cut to Mikey Day]

Mikey Day: I guess one of the best part was how our families got involved. My 7-year-old son, he would be in our read through.

[Cut to SNL cast having Zoom meeting. Mikey Day’s son is with him.]

Mikey Day on meeting: It’s hard on them too.

Mikey Day’s son: Like this bitch knows anything.

[everyone laughing] [Cut to Mikey Day]

Mikey Day: We worked on this dad prank sketch.

[Cut to clips from the sketch ‘Dad Prank.’]

I wrote him a thank you. Right now, it’s just kind of annoying to have to go up and shoot and stuff. But when you’re older, I think you’ll think it’s pretty cool that you got to be a part of this show.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: Watching my daughter watch herself in my intro on the show, she was just beaming. She just couldn’t stop smiling. I mean, I could have cried watching that.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson with his daughters waving ‘bye’ at the camera] To see what you do immediately impact your child like that, that was a very touching moment.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: At home episodes sort of felt like, we got a job to do here. And it just sort of felt like an experimental thing.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: Specially when Brad Pitt said it like, “Live–

[Cut to sketch with Brand Pitt.]

Brad Pitt: — kinda’, from all across America, it’s Saturday Night.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: It’s like, “Okay, we’re getting a glimpse into an invincibility with this show.” Like, whether we do it at 30 Rock or not, I think we can figure out a way to get it done.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: For the “Dreams” sketch, I didn’t know what everyone else was doing.

[Cut to Kent Sublette at home]

Kent Sublette: I had been reading an article about  COVID dreams and how intense they were to people and I’d had some myself. So, I started to think what would it like to see dreams of the cast? What they miss and you know, maybe we all sort of miss about New York?”

[Cut to Mikey Day]

Mikey Day: The director Paul Birganti directed over Zoom.

[Cut to Paul Birganti directing over Zoom.]

Paul Birganti: And action!

[Cut to Bowen Yang]

Bowen: We did a read through of it. After we finished it, all of us just looked at each other’s little tiles on Zoom and we were silent. And then I remember breaking the silence by being like, “I hope everyone has a good summer.”

[Cut to Mikey Day]

Mikey Day: Seeing the city and us being digitally put into the city was kind of bitter sweet and sad, but at the same time uplifting, seeing us all together again.

[Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: I guess we just never thought that we would get to a point where we wouldn’t be able to have New York, walk in Time Square, be bumped into on 5th Avenue or any of that. It was very emotional.

[Cut to Bowen Yang.]

Bowen Yang: The show was a nice reminder that this was still possible. That it was still possible to sort of be there for each other, even though we were so seperate.

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: Getting to watch that episode from the comfort of my home in New York made me feel so connected to the city.

[Cut to Heidi Gardner]

Heidi Gardner: Coming off the elevator Saturday night and seeing a neighbor who was like, “Are you going to watch your show?” And I was like, “Yeah. Are you going to watch it?”

[Cut to Ego Nwodim]

Ego Nwodim: I am waiting for us to be able to get back in 30 Rock. Oh, man. I wish I could get a goodnight’s hug right now.

[Cut to Bowen Yang]

Bowen Yang: I can’t wait to go back. I can’t wait to go back and see everybody.

[Cut to Pete Davidson]

Pete Davidson: I’m really like, grateful that we had those three shows. I won’t forget and I’m appreciative to have been a part of it.

[Cut to a clip of SNL casts on Zoom meeting.] [Cut to Kenan Thompson]

Kenan Thompson: What I want to say is we’ll get through this thing together but we’ll also come out on the other side with a little more compassion and appreciation for our world that we live in, you know? Show some more love to each other, show some more love to our planet. That’s all I can hope for. Peace.

Kristen Wiig At-Home Monologue

Kristen Wiig

[Starts with Kristen Wiig waking up in her bed.]

Kristen Wiig: What? Me? Host? Now? [smiles] Okay.

[Kristen goes away from camera and comes back in all dressed up in just a second]

Let’s do this.

[music playing] [Kristen Wiig is dancing in her home.]

You want some biscuits with this tea? [showing her breasts] Let’s start the show.

[Kristen gets on the floor. There are candles everywhere]

I got down on this floor because I wanted to get serious. This is the Mother’s Day show. And at SNL, it’s very special time to celebrate moms. Unfortunately, probably like a lot of you, I can’t be with my mom on this mother’s day. So, I hope it’s okay. I’d like to tell her I love her and send her good luck. She’s in competition over Zoom right now, and mom, I hope you win. She actually sent a picture.

[Cut to a picture of a body building woman with Kristen Wiig’s face.] [Cut back to Kristen Wiig]

People say we look alike but I don’t see it. You know, I’ve been thinking lately. I don’t know if I truly appreciated my mom the first 45 years of my life. But this year, I’m feeling specially grateful. Her advice, her love, I’m so thankful for all the things she’s taught me preparing me to be a mom myself. Things like breastfeeding. [shows two pieces of chicken breasts] Babies love that chicken. She would always say that.

So, I do want to thank my mom and all the moms out there who have been helping us get through this and who have been there and who are watching over us. We thank you so much. Happy mother’s day. Thank you moms. And thank you, dads.

Now, I would like to finish this off by– It’s actually something kind of sweet. It’s a lullaby that my mom used to sing to me when I was a little baby up until when I was a little girl when I would get scared and– I’d like to sing that for you.

[singing] The moon is out
the stars are out
now close your eyes
now hush, little baby
don’t wait till the morning
don’t make a sound
coz mommy loves you
goodnight.

Aw, my voice. We have a great show for you tonight. Stick around, we’ll be right back.

What Up With That- At Home

Charles Barkley

DJ Khalid

DeAndre Cole… Kenan Thompson

Backup singers… Ego Nwodim, Melissa Villaseñor

[Starts with “What’s Up With That?” intro] [music playing]

Backup singers: [singing] Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

Male voice: It’s “What’s Up With That?” at home. Taking on the issues of today with soul tonight, hall of famer, Charles Barkley, the great DJ Khalid, and Lindsey Buckingham. Here’s your host, DeAndre Cole.

DeAndre Cole: Woke up this morning then I got out of bed
had a bigger cup of coffee to clear my head

been home for a while and that’s where I’m at
but we can still jam on “What’s up with that?”

DeAndre Cole and backup singers: Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?
Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

DeAndre Cole: What’s up with that? yuu, oh, yeah

Wow! Yeah! Thank you all for joining us on “What’s Up With That?” where we’re going to learn how to stay safe at home. Now, our guests are very busy. So, I brought along this timer [a timer pops on the screen] to make sure that we don’t keep him too long. Ha-ha-ha. We’re going to talk about social distance.

[drum hi-hat starts playing. DeAndre Cole starts looking around.]

Gonna talk persistence
[Bass starts playing] [singing] COVID resistance
It’s gonna be fantastic, boombastic
galactic, elastic
emphatic, spastic
fancy fantastic

[Charles Berkley and DJ Khalid are clueless]

Everybody sing

DeAndre Cole and backup singers: Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?
Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

DeAndre Cole: What’s up… I say what’s up… somebody tell me what is up with that? yeah

Whoo! Alright. We are so lucky to have Mr. Charles Barkley who is in new documentary on Michael Jordan.

Charles Barkley: I’m not gonna lie. This is weird.

DeAndre Cole: It is. Now, Charles, everybody is talking about this new Michael Jordan documentary and you played against Michael in the 1993 finals and you were on the dream team. What was that like?

Charles Barkley: It was special. And a documentary is excellent.

DeAndre Cole: Um-hmm.

Charles Barkley: But it doesn’t show everything. Let me tell you about something that’s not in there.

[drum hi-hat starts playing. DeAndre Cole starts looking around.] [Charles and DeAndre Cole are looking around]

DeAndre Cole: Go ahead.

[Bass starts playing]

Charles Barkley: Okay. Like I was saying, I played with Michael and all his guys. There are incredible stories people still don’t know.

DeAndre Cole: [singing] Incredible stories

Charles Barkley: Right. And you might actually hear them if you would let me talk please.

DeAndre Cole: [singing] Letting you talk now

Charles Barkley: No, you’re not. Which is a shame. I’m trying to tell you about the one time me and Michael Jordan–

DeAndre Cole: [singing] Jordan was the greatest
and I got to say

DeAndre Cole and backup singers: Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

[Charles Barkley and DJ Khalid are annoyed]
Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

DeAndre Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, joining us remotely, the sexy siren of social distancing, Quarantina.

[Quarantina is singing in home drinking wine]

Quarantina: [singing] Merlot for one
tonight I toast only these

merlot for one
it’s a soul of merlot to believe

so go to your parties
and have all your fun
go to your spring breaks
and dance in the sun

I’ll be right here
and that only begun
with my merlot for one

DeAndre Cole and backup singers: Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

[Charles Barkley and DJ Khalid are annoyed]

Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, a special appearance by Howie Hot Wheels and the lego Kid.

[Howie and lego kid are dancing]

Go Howie, go Howie, go lego, go lego

[DJ Khalid starts dancing] get speedy, get speedy, get crazy, it’s your birthday

DeAndre Cole and backup singers: Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?
Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

DeAndre Cole: What’s up… I say what’s up… somebody tell me what is up with that
now will somebody please come to my house and teach my damn kids?

Yes!

Whoo! Alright. Well, folks my kids got to use the laptop that we rented from the local library for the online schooling. Ha-ha. But I want to thank Charles Barkley for being here.

Charles Barkley: That’s it? Whatever!

DeAndre Cole: And thank you to the one and only DJ Khalid.

DJ Khalid: Well, I guess that was another one.

DeAndre Cole: And Lindsey Buckingham. Oh, man, I know we haven’t let you talk on any episode for the past 10 years. Lindsey? Lindsey? [Lindsey Buckingham’s connection is lost.] Oh! Well, that’s too bad. Well, thank you for trying anyway, Lindsey. How about I wave to you from my car on your birthday? Yeah. Just look out for 25 Buick Lesabre. Alright, until next time.

[drums roll] [singing] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

DeAndre Cole and backup singers: Ooh, wii, what’s up with that? what’s up with that?

Tom Hanks At-Home Monologue

Tom Hanks

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Hanks.

[Tom Hanks is in his home. He is wearing a suit.] [cheers and applause]

Tom Hanks: Hey, hey. Wow. Wow. Thank you. That is some sound effect of applause and whistles. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, engineers. Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. It’s me, your old pal. Don’t worry now. Don’t be afraid. This shaved head was just for movie. My hair is growing back very slowly. It does save time in the shower. So, I don’t know. Maybe we should all do it, huh?

Hey, it’s good to be here, though it is also very weird to be here hosting Saturday Night Live from home. It is a strange time to try and be funny. But trying to be funny is SNL’s whole thing. So, we thought, “What the heck? Let’s give it a shot.” But why me as host? Well, for one, I have been the celebrity canary in the coal mine for the coronavirus. And ever since being diagnosed, I have been more like America’s dad like ever before since no one wants to be around me very long, and I make people uncomfortable. Now, I was diagnosed back in March with the coronavirus. I was first diagnosed down in Australia. Now, the folks in Australia are fantastic in every way. But they use celcius instead of fahrenheit when they take your temperature. So, when I come in, they say, “You’re 36!” Which seemed very bad to me. Turns out 36 is fine. 38 is bad. So, basically it’s how Hollywood treats female actors. But now, my wife and I are doing fine. We’re doing great. We’re hunkered down like all of it should be. And in fact, this suit, this is the first time I’ve worn anything other than sweatpants since March 11th. My wife had to help me put it on because I forgot how buttons work. But it turns out there’s these little discs and they slide into these slots. Amazing.

Now, this Saturday Night Live is gonna be al little different. For one thing, it has been filmed entirely by the SNL cast who are currently quarantine in their homes just like this. Well, not like this. I mean, their homes are little more like– You know what? I’m gonna let you be the judge of that.

Also, there’s no such thing as Saturdays anymore. It’s just, everyday is today. And we’re not really live. But, we are doing everything we can to make this feel like the SNL you know and love. I am even using cue cards. [pulls a paper from behind the camera] See? I’m even using cue cards. That’s riffed, baby. That’s what I am doing.

So, tonight I can do everything a host does during a normal SNL. I could even do that old chestnut the question and answer monologue. Let’s see, does anyone have any questions? Yes, what about you sir? How about you?

[Cut to Tom Hanks wearing a hat and a fake mustache. He has a smoking pipe in his mouth]

Um, I have a question for Mr. Hanks. I can’t help but notice that you are in excellent shape. What is the secret of your physical regiment?

[Cut back to Tom Hanks wearing suit]

Come on. I just try to stretch a couple of times a week. Go easy on the carbs and the cookies. Thank you though. Anybody else? Yes, you sir.

[Cut to Tom hanks wearing a cowboy hat]

Alright, I got a question for Tommy Tim Tam. What’s a right proper way to get a daily dose of your vegemite?

[Cut back to Tom Hanks wearing suit]

Enough of that. Well, we have a great show for you tonight. Now, is it gonna look a little different than what you’re used to? Yes. Will it be weird to see sketches without big sets and costumes? Sure. But, will it make you laugh? Ugh. You know, it’s SNL. You know. There’ll be some good stuff. Maybe one or two stinkers. You know the drill. But let’s go. Hey, stay safe. We are in this for the duration. And we will get through this together. We are going to thank our hospital workers, our first responders and all the helpers. The supermarket stockers. The people who deliver our food. The people who are making takeout for us. The men and women who are keeping this country going at the time we need more than ever before. So, we’re gonna take care of them and we’re gonna take care of each other. So, let’s try to now just enjoy the show. We will be right back.

Where Jackie Chan At Right Now

Tracy Morgan

Kenan Thompson

Chris Tucker… Kenan Thompson

Chuck Norris… Kyle Mooney

Steven Seagal… Bobby Moynihan

Owen Wilson… Taran Killam

Sasheer Zamata

Osama Bin Laden… Pete Davidson

[Starts with “Yo! Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?” intro]

Male voice: And now it’s time for “Yo! Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?”

[Morgan and Kenan are sitting on a sofa at their set]

Morgan: Alright, welcome to ‘Yo! Where Jackie Chan At Right Now?’

Kenan: As always, we asking the question. Where Jackie Chan at right now?

Morgan: I wanna know where he at.

Kenan: I wanna know where he at and what he doing right now.

Morgan: Where is he? Where is Jackie Chan? And just don’t tell us he’s in Asia.

Kenan: Yeah! Jackie Chan was in movies as well as karate. And nobody knows where he is.

Morgan: Where the heck are you, Jackie Chan? Don’t do this to us.

Kenan: Okay, the phone lines are open.

Morgan: Caller one, where Jackie Chan at?

Rebecca S.: Is he in Asia?

Morgan: I just said don’t tell me that.

Kenan: We checked with Asia. He’s not there. Next caller. Where is Jackie Chan?

Grace S.: Maybe he has lost all his money and he’s living in the woods.

Morgan: Wrong. I called him. He’s worth $48 trillion. This call is over. Case dismissed.

Kenan: Okay, caller three, where is Jackie Chan?

Theo S.: Um, are you sure he’s still alive?

Morgan: You fat dummy. Jackie Chan is 26. You think he’s dead? He’ll come over there and karate-chop you on your face.

Kenan: You are banned from this show. Okay, it’s time to meed our guest. Chris Tucker, where Jackie Chan at?

[Cut to Chris Tucker]

Chris Tucker: Yo! You wanna know where Jackie Chan at? You wanna know where he at? I tell you where Jackie Chan at. I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know. Man, I don’t know, man!

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Chris Tucker: Well, then why you come on our show?

[Cut to Chris Tucker]

Chris Tucker: Taxes.

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: People need to respect this show. Next guest.

Kenan: Chuck Norris. Where is Jackie Chan?

[Cut to Chuck Norris in his fighting stance.]

Chuck Norris: I don’t know.

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Kenan: Steven Seagal, where Jackie Chan at?

[Cut to Steven Seagal]

Steven Seagal: I couldn’t tell ya’.

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: Owen Wilson, where is Jackie Chan?

[Cut to Owen Wilson]

Owen Wilson: I don’t know man, it’s weird.

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Kenan: Lady from Karma, San Diego, where is Jackie Chan?

[Cut to Sasheer]

Sasheer: Sorry, gum shoes.

[Sasheer looks through a magnifying glass] [Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: Young Osama Bin Laden, you know where Jackie Chan is?

[Cut to Osama Bin Laden with his skate board]

Osama Bin Laden: No, bro!

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: Leslie Jones, you see Jackie Chan?

[Cut to Leslie Jones]

Leslie Jones: I saw him on East 85th street.

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Kenan: What? When?

[Cut to Leslie Jones]

Leslie Jones: 1997.

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: Did you have any sense of where he was headed next?

[Cut to Leslie Jones]

Leslie Jones: I don’t know. Downtown?

[Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: Okay, write that down.

[Kenan brings up a big notebook to write that down.]

Kenan: Okay, so far, we know that Jackie Chan was in Rush Hour, Shanghai Noon and Rush Hour 2.

Morgan: We know that he was born in Asia but didn’t necessarily stay there.

Kenan: And we know that he is somewhere between 4 and 7 feet tall.

Morgan: Alright, we’re gonna take a quick 45 minute break.

Kenan: When we return, we’re gonna check our trap to see if we caught a Jackie Chan.

[Cut to the trap. It’s made out of a box and a wood. The bait is ninechucks.] [Cut to Morgan and Kenan]

Morgan: The search continues.

[The End]