Month: October 2018

SNL Transcripts: David Spade



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  David Spade


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Seasons:











Hosted:



Special Guest:


1990-1991

1991-1992

1992-1993

1993-1994

1994-1995

1995-1996

98e

04n

96l

00p
David Spade’s Therapy SessionSummary: Prior to coming back to Studio 8-H to host “Saturday Night Live,” David Spade outlines his fear of success to his therapist, Brad Pitt.

Transcript

Accruing Equity & Making Hot, Sweet LoveSummary: Lawrence Greekmont (Will Ferrell) and his guest panelists will discuss the day’s financial news after they get down to the real business – talking about making sweet love.

Transcript

Bachelor PartySummary: Shane the Chaperone (David Spade) outlines the ground rules to a group of guys attending a bachelor party.

Transcript

Holding CellSummary: After being wrongfully jailed, Andrew (Rob Riggle) shares a cell with Spider (David Spade), an obnoxious inmate who talks the talk but never quite walks the walk.

Transcript

Stunt DoubleSummary: While filming a new action-comedy with Vin Diesel (Horatio Sanz), David Spade learns that his stunt double is a woman (Amy Poehler) who portrays him effeminately.

Transcript

UPS GuySummary: UPS delivery guy (David Spade) makes awkward banter with an office receptionist (Rachel Dratch) until he works up the nerve to ask her out. Things become more and more awkward after she turns him down.

Transcript

Dirtball and Burnout ConventionSummary: Dirtballs and burnouts will get together this weekend for rowdy fun and hijinks.

Recurring Characters: Skeeter.

Transcript

SNL Transcripts

SNL Transcripts: Darrell Hammond



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Darrell Hammond


This free script provided by http://javascriptkit.com]]>

Seasons:























Hosted:

Special Guest:


1995-1996

1996-1997

1997-1998

1998-1999

1999-2000

2000-2001

2001-2002

2002-2003

2003-2004

2004-2005

2005-2006

2006-2007

None

None
Dangerfield TributeSummary: Rodney Dangerfield (Darrell Hammond) performs stand-up one last time at St. Peter’s (Horatio Sanz) request.

Recurring Characters: Rodney Dangerfield, St. Peter.

Note: Rodney Dangerfield hosted SNL on 03/08/80.

Transcript

“The Apprentice” PromoSummary: Dracula-garbed Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond) records a promo for “The Apprentice.”

Recurring Characters: Donald Trump.

Transcript

Dr. PhilSummary: The topic is Emotional Intelligence, as Dr. Phil (Darrell Hammond) interviews married couple Jamie (Rachel Dratch) and Ken (Tom Brady). Ken’s cluelessness in identifying Jamie’s feelings ultimately baffles Dr. Phil.

Recurring Characters: Dr. Phil.

SNL Transcripts

SNL Transcripts: Dana Carvey

Cast Member:

Seasons:













Hosted:

Special Guest:
Dana Carvey

1986-1987

1987-1988

1988-1989

1989-1990

1990-1991

1991-1992

1992-1993

3 times

5 times

  • Dana Carvey’s Monologue

    Carvey’s recurring characters like to be these people for you.

    Recurring Characters: Arianna.

  • Tom Brokaw Pre-Tapes

    Before vacationing, Tom Brokaw (Carvey) covers President Ford death possibilities.

    Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw.

  • Charles Grodin

    Grodin (Carvey) previews other celebrity-hosted talk shows.

    SNL Transcripts

    • SNL Transcripts: Dan Aykroyd



     Saturday Night Live Transcripts


      Dan Aykroyd : Cast Member


    This free script provided by http://javascriptkit.com]]>

    Seasons:







    Hosted:

    Special Guest:

    Cameos:


    1975-1976

    1976-1977

    1977-1978

    1978-1979

    02t
    94p97l
    87k92t01d01l02n
    Bio: (1952-) once studied to become a Jesuit priest; motorcycle enthusiast. Notable Characters and Sketches
    Trojan Horse Home Security
    Hoe-Down
    CIA Records
    Kiwi Trapper, Midnight Probe
    Mike Mendoza, Minute Mystery:

    75e75h
    Black Takeover
    Mel:

    75h75h75h76p
    Citizen Kane II
    Mechanic Bedtime Stories
    Elwood Blues, Blues Brothers:

    75j
    Ricardo Montalban:

    75m76q76u
    Jason, Stoners:

    75m76s
    Richard Nixon:

    75m75s76p76t77o77t78g78t
    Elliot Ness/Robert Stack:

    75n76q78l
    Great Moments in Herstory I
    Car Yummies
    Super Bass-o-matic ’76
    Tom Snyder:

    75q76h76lMG77e77m77s78a78f78m78r94p
    Joseph Franklin:

    75r76b
    Bathwater of the Stars
    Dell Stator:

    75u
    Vibramatic Personal Massager
    Jimmy Carter:

    75w76a76b76d76f76i76j76kMG76o76r77a77c77h77i77p77q78a78d78i78j78n78p78r
    We Asked Judith Beasley
    Snake-Handling O’Sheas
    KLOG Radio
    Epifix
    Lunch Counter Reunion
    Super Bat-o-matic ’77
    Rod Serling:

    76h77k78l
    Puberty Helper
    Metal Detector
    Jodie’s Teacher
    Santi-Wrap
    Irwin Mainway:

    76j77d78b78h78q94p97l
    Beldar Conehead:

    76k76n76q76s76v77d77i77n77s78c78m
    Crazy Frank
    E. Buzz Miller:

    76l77h77l77q
    Swiss Army Gun
    Alsatian Restaurant
    Vincent Price:

    76n77o78f
    Leonard Pinth-Garnell:

    76o76r76u77b77g77n77t78f78m01d
    Leech-Tab 100
    Dr. X, Family Counsellor
    Jimmy Joe Red Sky:

    76s77j77s78e25th
    Plain Talk
    Bank Robber Disguises
    Van Arguments

    SNL Transcripts

    SNL Transcripts: Chris Rock

    Cast Member:

    Seasons:





    Hosted:

    Special Guest:
    Chris Rock

    1990-1991

    1991-1992

    1992-1993

    1 time

    1 time

  • Chris Rock’s Monologue

    Rock’s stand-up includes topics on Bill Clinton and sexual harassment.

  • College Graduate in the Ghetto

    Colege graduate’s (Tim Meadows) dad (Rock) makes fun of his education.

  • Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam

    Foul-mouthed doctors receive the censor’s cuts.

    SNL Transcripts