Author: Don Roy King

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Chris Kattan


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The How Do You Say, Ah Yes, ShowSummary: Sexy Antonio Banderas (Chris Kattan) chats with the author of a book on Lyme Disease (Lucy Lawless).

Recurring Characters: Antonio Banderas.

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SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Cheri Oteri


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1995-1996

1996-1997

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1998-1999

1999-2000

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Judge JudySummary: Judge Judy (Cheri Oteri) hears the case of a stripper clown (Lucy Lawless) before the real Judy Sheindlin interrupts the proceedings.

Recurring Characters: Judge Judy, Burt.

Transcript

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Chris Parnell


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1998-1999

1999-2000

2000-2001

2001-2002

2002-2003

2003-2004

2004-2005

2005-2006

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Mercury MistressSummary: The luxury car that drivers can have sex with.

Transcript

SNL Digital ShortSummary: White boys Andy Samberg and his homie Chris Parnell take to the streets of New York to perform a rap song about snacking and watching “The Chronicles of Narnia” on a “Lazy Sunday.”

Transcript

SNL Transcripts

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Charles Rocket

1980-1981

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SNL Transcripts

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Colin Quinn

1995-1996

1996-1997

1997-1998

1998-1999

1999-2000

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Ex-con Gene

As waiter, Gene (Colin Quinn) makes dining couple uncomfortable.

Recurring Characters: Ex-con Gene.

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

Colin Quinn refuses to apologize to Michael Irvin.

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

Colin Quinn comments on the President Clinton/Paula Jones scandal.

Colin Quinn Explains The New York Times

Quinn employs stand-up to make sense of New York Times headlines.

Ex-Con Gene

Gene (Colin Quinn) takes work as a cranky, kid-scaring Santa Claus.
Recurring Characters: Ex-con Gene.

Weekend Update with Colin Quinn
Recurring Characters: Harry Caray.

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Chris Elliot

1994-1995

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SNL Transcripts

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Chris Rock

1990-1991

1991-1992

1992-1993

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1 time

Chris Rock’s Monologue

Rock’s stand-up includes topics on Bill Clinton and sexual harassment.

College Graduate in the Ghetto

Colege graduate’s (Tim Meadows) dad (Rock) makes fun of his education.

Russell Simmons’ Def Emergency Room Jam

Foul-mouthed doctors receive the censor’s cuts.

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Dan Aykroyd : Cast Member


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1975-1976

1976-1977

1977-1978

1978-1979

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Bio: (1952-) once studied to become a Jesuit priest; motorcycle enthusiast. Notable Characters and Sketches
Trojan Horse Home Security
Hoe-Down
CIA Records
Kiwi Trapper, Midnight Probe
Mike Mendoza, Minute Mystery:

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Black Takeover
Mel:

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Citizen Kane II
Mechanic Bedtime Stories
Elwood Blues, Blues Brothers:

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Ricardo Montalban:

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Jason, Stoners:

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Richard Nixon:

75m75s76p76t77o77t78g78t
Elliot Ness/Robert Stack:

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Great Moments in Herstory I
Car Yummies
Super Bass-o-matic ’76
Tom Snyder:

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Joseph Franklin:

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Bathwater of the Stars
Dell Stator:

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Vibramatic Personal Massager
Jimmy Carter:

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We Asked Judith Beasley
Snake-Handling O’Sheas
KLOG Radio
Epifix
Lunch Counter Reunion
Super Bat-o-matic ’77
Rod Serling:

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Puberty Helper
Metal Detector
Jodie’s Teacher
Santi-Wrap
Irwin Mainway:

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Beldar Conehead:

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Crazy Frank
E. Buzz Miller:

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Swiss Army Gun
Alsatian Restaurant
Vincent Price:

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Leonard Pinth-Garnell:

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Leech-Tab 100
Dr. X, Family Counsellor
Jimmy Joe Red Sky:

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Plain Talk
Bank Robber Disguises
Van Arguments

SNL Transcripts

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Dana Carvey

1986-1987

1987-1988

1988-1989

1989-1990

1990-1991

1991-1992

1992-1993

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5 times

Dana Carvey’s Monologue

Carvey’s recurring characters like to be these people for you.

Recurring Characters: Arianna.

Tom Brokaw Pre-Tapes

Before vacationing, Tom Brokaw (Carvey) covers President Ford death possibilities.

Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw.

Charles Grodin

Grodin (Carvey) previews other celebrity-hosted talk shows.

SNL Transcripts

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Darrell Hammond


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1995-1996

1996-1997

1997-1998

1998-1999

1999-2000

2000-2001

2001-2002

2002-2003

2003-2004

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2005-2006

2006-2007

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Dangerfield TributeSummary: Rodney Dangerfield (Darrell Hammond) performs stand-up one last time at St. Peter’s (Horatio Sanz) request.

Recurring Characters: Rodney Dangerfield, St. Peter.

Note: Rodney Dangerfield hosted SNL on 03/08/80.

Transcript

“The Apprentice” PromoSummary: Dracula-garbed Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond) records a promo for “The Apprentice.”

Recurring Characters: Donald Trump.

Transcript

Dr. PhilSummary: The topic is Emotional Intelligence, as Dr. Phil (Darrell Hammond) interviews married couple Jamie (Rachel Dratch) and Ken (Tom Brady). Ken’s cluelessness in identifying Jamie’s feelings ultimately baffles Dr. Phil.

Recurring Characters: Dr. Phil.

SNL Transcripts