Dennis Walls and the Cookies

Charlice… Leslie Jones

Donald… Kyle Mooney

Dennis Walls… Drake

Cecily Strong

Kate McKinnon

[Starts with PBS video bumper]

You are watching PBS.

[Cut to Charlice]

Charlice: Here on PBS, we rely on generous donations from our viewers to bring you great, classic shows like this one. 1978 ‘Sexy kind of evening’ with Dennis Walls and the Cookies. Ooh. Charlice, that’s one of my favorites. Mine too, Ronald.

[Donald comes out from Charlice’s behind]

Donald: Charlice, you’re standing right in front of me. Also, saying all my lines.

Charlice: Oh, I’m sorry Donald. You know, you gotta jump in there, baby. Go ahead and say your line.

Donald: Let’s–

Charlice: [interrupting] Let’s walk to show Charlice.

[Cut to ‘Sexy Kind of Evening’ intro]

Male voice: It’s ‘Sexy kind of evening’ with RnB legend Dennis Walls.

[Cut to Dennis Walls. There are two women ‘cookies’ behind him.]

Dennis Walls: How sexy does everybody feel tonight? Very sexy? Thought so. I’m Dennis Walls and these are my backup signature cookies. And I’ve got to know, how my cookies is doing tonight?

Cecily: Oh, us cookies are hot.

Kate: And sweet.

Cecily and Kate: And then we will spoil your appetite.

Dennis Walls: Umm. Umm. Standing up here with my sexy cookies makes me feel like my birthday came early this year, but I never come early. Right cookies?

Kate: That’s nasty.

Cecily: How come is it nasty?

Kate: Look cookie. She’s the dumb one.

Cecily: But I own it, don’t I?

Dennis Walls: Now, come on cookies. Let’s go get comfortable and start off sexy show.

[Dennis Walls, Cecily and Kate walk to their set]

Hey, why is this stool so small? Why would somebody give me a foot stool?

Cecily: Maybe the director’s still mad at you for forgetting his name.

Dennis Walls: Oh man. I got nothing but respect for Sid.

Kate: His name is Tom.

Dennis Walls: Well, should I throw a fit?

Kate: No baby. That’s not your style.

Cecily: I know what will make it better. Letting that deep sexy baritone voice out from under that mustache cave.

Dennis Walls: Oh, I like the way my cookies think. Hand me my mic.

[Dennis Walls gets a mic] [singing] Shake off your body

[When he sings on the mic, his voice sounds like baby’s.]

Oh, something’s wrong here. I sound funny. There’s something wrong with the mic.

Cecily: Yeah, baby. Something’s wrong with your mic. You sound like a little chipmunk.

Kate: Or a little bug cartoon.

Dennis Walls: I think I have no choice but to throw my fist, cookies.

Cecily: Oh, don’t go there baby. It will ruin your groove.

Dennis Walls: Oh, alright man. Let’s just finish the song.

[singing] Fly your…

Listen. I’m not gonna use this mic anymore. I can’t ruin my brand.

Kate: Hey, Dennis. What’s behind that big silver curtain over there?

Dennis Walls: [laughing] I bet it’s my big sexy saxophone so I can play ya’ll big sexy sexophone solo.

Kate: Sounds like it could be a big….

Cecily: And sexophone.

Dennis Walls: Well, why don’t I unzip these curtains and I’ll show you just how big it is.

Kate: Oh. That’s nasty again.

Cecily: How come is this nasty also?

[The curtain opens and a stool slides in. There’s a tiny saxophone on the stool that’s the size of a key-ring.]

Dennis Walls: Well, I mean, what happened here? This looks like a little fashion doll saxophone.

Kate: Well, now did you specify a regular size saxophone or did you say Barbara doll size?

Dennis Walls: Now girl, why would I ask for Barbara doll size saxophone? Where’s the logic in this?

Cecily: Ooh, and it’s on a normal size stool. That’s the one you were supposed to sit on earlier. Maybe just try playing it, baby.

[Dennis Walls blows on the tiny saxophone. It sounds like a whistle.]

Dennis Walls: I don’t understand this. We had Kate0 production meetings about what was going to happen here tonight. What is wrong with you, Sydney?

Cecily and Kate: Tod!

Dennis Walls: Forget it. Let’s just not let any of this ruin off our sexy sounds together. Okay, cookies. How about we just move over here to the circular bed and we get sexy for real. [Cecily and Kate walk to the bed] After you.

[Cecily jumps to the bed and the bed starts revolving]

Cecily: Oh, I think we’re moving, Dennis.

Dennis Walls: You know I love me a little motion in ocean, girls. I love it. Alright.

[singing] Let me love you girls
then I can take my time
loving you

Cecily and Kate: So you’re gonna do just to you
Dennis Walls: Yeah, that’s right. Yeah.

I’ll do me real quick
then roll over to you.

[The bed is rotating too fast]

Hang on now. Hold on a second. Is this bed speeding up?

Cecily: Yes, seems like it to me.

Kate: I’m getting scared.

Dennis Walls: Why are we going this fast?

[Cecily falls down]

Hey, sexy?

Kate: Where is she? I cannot get a grip on this.

[Kate falls down too.]

Dennis Walls: Y’all not listening to me.

[Dennis Walls falls down too.]

Male voice: This has been a very sexy evening with Dennis Walls and the Cookies.

[The End]

Who Works Here?

Catherine Maeks… Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Jessica… Vanessa Bayer

Donald… Taran Killam

Debra… Sasheer Zamata

Cecily Strong

Aidy Bryant

Kevin… Bobby Moynihan

Pete Davidson

[Starts with ‘Who Works Here?’ intro]

Male voice: And now live from the CVS on 14th and first, it’s America’s newest game show ‘Who Works Here?’ with your host Catherine.

[Catherine walks in] [cheers and applause]

Catherine: Hello. Hello everyone and welcome to ‘Who Works Here?’ where contestants have to examine the people wandering this CVS and determine who the hell works here. Now normally, this is when we get to know our contestants but I met them back stage and I gotta say they’re unbelievably dull

[The contestants are smiling and nodding their heads]

So, let’s get started. Jessica you’re up first. Does this person work here?

[Cut to Cecily looking around in the store. She has a blue shirt and a blue hat on.]

Jessica: Hah, well she looks like an employee. [calling Cecily] Excuse me. [Cecily is pretending she can’t hear] Excuse me? [Cecily looks at Jessica angrily] Excuse me ma’am.

Cecily: Ma’am?

Jessica: Sorry. Miss, do you know what isle the hand soap is on?

[Cecily pretends as she didn’t hear her]

Okay, I’m gonna say she does not work here.

[wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Oh, I’m so sorry. She’s actually the Assistant Manager but she is on break. And she chooses to spend her break standing motionless in the center of CVS. Donald, you’re up. Does this person work here?

[Cut to Aidy. She is wearing the blue shirt and has a yellow patch on it. She is throwing stuffs around.]

Donald: Well, let’s see. She is actively destroying the store which seems like a bad thing for an employee to do. But she is wearing a button that says ‘Ask me for help. I work here.’ Um, I’m not buying it. She does not work here.

[right answer bell] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Hey, correct. She does not work here. She’s just a local vagrant that parades around the store once a day while our security guard takes his usual 40 minute bathroom break. Nice work Donald.

[Cut to Donald]

Donald: Well, I know my way around this CVS Catherine.

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: What does that mean?

[Cut to Donald]

Donald: Just– j– It has isles.

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: See? Dull. Debra, it’s your turn. Does this person work here?

[Cut to Kevin walking around in casual outfit with two gallons]

Kevin: I work here. I work here. I work here. I work here.

[Cut to Debra]

Debra: Well, he keeps saying ‘I work here’. I’m gonna stick with my gut and say that he does not work here.

[wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Oh, that was a tough one. But he actually does work here… as a prostitute. I admit that one was very tricky one. Thanks Kevin.

[Cut to Kevin]

Kevin: I don’t work here. Wheee!

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: And now, we move on to our lighting round.

[Cut to Jessica]

Jessica: I’m sorry. Do you mean lightning?

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: No. Lighting. We just flick the lights on and off a bunch and see what kind of weirdos emerge from the back of the store. And you tell us who works here. And go!

[Cut to the isles. The lights are switching on and off. Some people are just running around.] [Cut to Donald]

Donald: Okay, that guy!

[The people running around pause and light focuses on Pete.]

That guy gave me my prescription at the pharmacy but somehow, I don’t think he works here.

[right answer bell] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: That’s exactly right. He just showed up and started passing out drugs and no one ever questioned it. Alright, here we go, round two and go.

[Cut to the isles. The lights are switching on and off. Some people are just running around.] [Cut to Debra]

Debra: And him!

[The people running around pause and light focuses on Kenan. He is wearing security uniform.]

That’s the security guard. He used the bathroom for 40 minutes.

[wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Oh, so close. But that’s actually a security guard from Right Aid who just comes in to use our bathroom.

[As Kenan puts the magazine back on the shelf, we can see toilet tissues hanging behind him on his pants.]

And he’s putting the magazine back on the shelf. That’s great. And go!

[Cut to the isles. The lights are switching on and off. Some people are just running around.] [Cut to Jessica]

Jessica: Okay, her!

[The people running around pause and light focuses on Kate.] [Cut to Jessica]

There is no way she works here.

[wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Oh, she is actually our Assistant Manager.

[Cut to Jessica]

Jessica: You said that the first woman was the Assistant Manager.

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Well, everyone at CVS is at least an Assistant Manager. But interesting side note, she is dead. Died in the store 90 years ago.

[Cut to Jessica]

Jessica: You know, I saw a show about ghost once.

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Wow, great story Jessica. And now, there’s only one person left. [Cut to Leslie. She’s wearing a black suit.] And maybe this will help.

[music playing] [Leslie starts dancing] [Cut to Donald]

Donald: Hmm. I guess I’m gonna say she works here.

[right answer bell] [Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: Oh, you’re darn right she does, Donald. She’s actually a full Manager. So technically, all she is to do is dance. And you should dance too Donald because you’re our big winner.

[Cut to Donald dancing]

Donald: Oh, my god! What did I win?

[Cut to Catherine]

Catherine: I don’t know. I don’t actually work here. Thanks for playing.

[The End]

Donald and Melania Trump Cold Open

Donald Trump… Taran Killam

Melania Trump… Cecilia Strong

[Starts with a message video]

Male voice: And now, a Christmas message from Donald & Melania Trump.

[cheers and applause] [Cut to Donald Trump and Melania Trump]

Donald Trump: Good evening. It’s holiday season and I wanna wish everyone out here a Merry Christmas. To the Jews, happy Hanukkah and to the Muslims, send me your names.

Melania Trump: Donald and I love Christmas so much, we skipped the tree and made our entire home one big ornament.

Donald Trump: This is a very special time of year. It brings together all kinds of people. And I just want to recognize some of them with my naughty and nice list. My concept by the way.

Melania Trump: And remember, sometimes it’s nice to be naughty. [laughing]

Donald Trump: That’s why I married her. She’s hilarious, with boobs.

Melania Trump: Aw!

Donald Trump: So, here we go. Let’s see who’s naughty and who’s nice. First up, the polls, very nice. The latest poll has me leading by 20%. It’s starting to sink in people. I’m gonna be president.

Melania Trump: Yes, it’s so exciting. Donald is always working around the house talking to himself saying, “Oh, my god. I can’t believe this might happen. What the hell is going on? It’s so crazy.

Donald Trump: Next on the list, the nut cracker, by which I mean Hillary Clinton. She’s on the nice list. I know, I couldn’t believe it. She actually called me the other day.

Melania Trump: It was amazing. She said, “I hope you are the republican nominee. Please, please, let this happen.” It was so sweet.

Donald Trump: Very, very touching. Next up, Mark Zuckerberg. Naughty list. You’re a billionaire who is giving away almost all your money to charity? What the hell are you doing? You little nerd!

Melania Trump: Yes. If you give away you money, how will you stay married?

Donald Trump: Absolutely. Listen, I’m the most charitable guy on the planet. One time, I banged to 7. Finally, Santa. Naughty list. Controversial, I know. But look at the facts. This guys is a foreigner who works one day out of the year and gives handouts. He’s worse than Obama.

Melania Trump: Donald is my little Santa. He makes me sit on his lap before he gives me a gift.

Donald Trump: Sorry about this Santa. But I just don’t trust anybody who can fly over a wall. And next time I see you, I’m gonna tell you…

Donald Trump and Melania Trump: Live from New York, it’s Saturday night.

Donald and Melania Trump Cold Open

Donald Trump… Taran Killam

Melania Trump… Cecily Strong

[Starts with Donald Trump and Melania Trump delivering Donald Trump’s message]

Male voice: And now, a message from Donald & Melania Trump.

[cheers and applause]

Donald Trump: Good evening. As the man who’s almost certainly the next president, I wanted to give you a chance to get to know the real Donald. Now, you’re probably looking at this lovely woman and thinking, “Whoa! Who’s this? Another bangable daughter?” Actually, it’s my beautiful wife Melania.

Melania Trump: Hello.

Donald Trump: She’s great. Just great.

Melania Trump: Welcome to our humble gold house.

Donald Trump: Not bad, right? I mean, talk about foreign policy experience, we got the same interior decorator as Sadam Hussain. Now, I asked Melania to be here tonight to help me clear up some of the lies that these losers and morons are saying about me. Like, that I hate women. How can I hate women when I’ve got the world’s greatest woman right here.

Melania Trump: [with Solvenian accent] Yes, Donald loves women, you know? He always saying, “That woman is knock-out. That woman is a 10. That woman used to be a 10, but hey, she’s still a 7.” You know? He always very supportive to me. Like, when I ask to go spa or go shopping, you know, he always say, “That’s fine. Go!”

Donald Trump: All of this stuff’s being blown out of proportion. I mean like, the Megyn Kelly stuff.

Melania Trump: Yes, people say he was not nice to her, but he was worried, you know? He said, “She’s bleeding everywhere. She needs to go to hospital.”

Donald Trump: That’s right. I was actually afraid she was gonna die. Honestly! I love Megyn Kelly. I love her. I think she is great. She is talented and beautiful, but she is a woman who is always on her period and I hate her and I hope she dies.

Melania Trump: You know, I think they always twist this words. Like, with immigration.

Donald Trump: Clearly, I don’t hate immigrants. [Donald Trump points at Melania Trump]

Melania Trump: Yes, I know he is pro-immigration because I was in Slovenia and Donald saw a picture of me in a magazine and he called me and said, “Hey, come to America.”

Donald Trump: It’s very true.

Melania Trump: And I said, “I can’t come, you crazy old man. I don’t have green card.” And he said, “Screw green card. That’s for poor people. Just get over here.” You know, he said, “What can they do? Round about the illegal immigrants and deport them? That’s impossible logistically. How are they gonna find everyone?”

Donald Trump: Well, we’ll find a way.

Melania Trump: You know, Donald is so smart, he is so good with the media, you know? He know that if he said craziest things, he will go up in the poll numbers.

Donald Trump: No, no. Come on, Melania. That’s just not true. I just say outrageous things just for poll numbers. I speak from my heart.

Melania Trump: Really? Okay, because I hear your numbers go down a little this week.

Donald Trump: Mexicans are stealing our children.

Melania Trump: You see? He does not even have to think about it. He’s genius.

Donald Trump: Thank you, darling.

Melania Trump: You know, that’s why I don’t know how critics say he has no ideas or plans because he has so many. Tell them your plans for economy.

Donald Trump: Well, it’s very simple. I get in there, taxes go down, everybody gets a job, salaries go way up, we build a wall, it’s huge! Over in China, they’re gonna say, “Now, that’s a wall!”

Melania Trump: You see, this is how I know Donald is so smart because I hear this and to me, it’s just jumble of words. Like, it makes no sense. But you know, I’m not smart like Donald. I didn’t go to Hogwart school of business.

Donald Trump: You wanna know my plan? Here’s my plan. I got the smartest guys. [pauses for a moment] So, what do you think? Are you ready to do this, America?

Melania Trump: Yes, please. Put Donald in the White House. You know, he is total package. He is strong–

Donald Trump: I didn’t ask you to say that.

Melania Trump: He is wise.

Donald Trump: This is all off the cuff.

Melania Trump: He is good in bed.

Donald Trump: Those are her words.

Melania Trump: You know, and he is the only man who can unite both sides.

Donald Trump: Aw!

Melania Trump: Because he’s running as republican but his ideas are actually more like democrats.

Donald Trump: That’s not really–

Melania Trump: Yeah! Actually, he was democrat before he was republican.

Donald Trump: I think we’re getting a little off topic.

Melania Trump: And then social issues, you know, you can be gay, you can have abortion, he don’t care.

Donald Trump: [interrupting] Bop-bop-bep-bep-bep! Look, here’s the bottom line, I’m just like you, a regular joke, but better. A man of the people.

Melania Trump: Yes. Like everyone else, he puts hair on one strain at a time.

Donald Trump: That’s right. Yeah, and like everybody, live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

This Is How I Talk

Jay Pharoah

Venessa Bayer

Donald… Louis C.K.

Brenda… Leslie Jones

Aidy Bryant

Kate McKinnon

[Starts with Sprint phone shop]

Jay: So, that’s pretty much how the job works, Donald. Welcome aboard.

Venessa: When you’re here at Sprint, you’re a framily.

Donald: Well, thanks again. Like I said, I really need this job. I haven’t worked for a long time and I don’t want to blow another opportunity.

Jay: Well, if you care about keeping this job, word of advice, don’t piss off Brenda.

Brenda: Oh, I’m sorry. Am I running the charity here? Coz the last time I checked, I’m paying your asses to work. Okay? Which means your asses better be working or else, you’re done!

Jay: Yes, ma’am!

[Brenda leaves] [Cut to Donald]

Donald: I’m guessing that’s Brenda. Wow, is that how she really talks?

[Brenda comes back] [mocking Brenda] I’m paying your asses to work. Which means your asses better be working.

[Cut to Jay and Venessa. Venessa is warning Donald about Brenda.]

Venessa: Okay, dude. Don’t!

Brenda: Excuse me? I’m sorry. [Cut to Donald and Brenda] Is that how you think I talk? Is that your little impression of me?

[Donald looks around]

Donald: [trying speak like Brenda as if he speaks like that all the time.] Why you fronting on me? I ain’t talking like you. I’m talking like my damn self!

[audience laughing]

And your ass better back up coz otherwise you’re gonna be clowned on this fellow, umm!

Brenda: So, you’re saying this is how you actually talk?

Donald: I’m talking like my mama taught me to talk. And if you clowning on my mom then you’s about to get bounced!

Brenda: Okay. If that’s how you really talk then we ain’t got a problem.

Donald: Um-hmm. Well, okay then. [snaps] [Brenda leaves] [Cut to Jay and Venessa]

Jay: Dude, what the hell was that?

[Cut to Donald]

Donald: [speaking normally] I don’t know. I just got caught and I panicked.

[Cut to Jay and Venessa]

Venessa: What are you gonna do now?

[Cut to everybody]

Donald: I mean I need this job. [Brenda walks behind Donald] I just gonna have to stay this way.

Jay: Like, forever?

Donald: [Donald starts acting again] Like, I was saying. Who you think you is? Angela bastard! I ain’t tryna’ front on no chicken hog.

[looking at Brenda] Oh, damn, Brenda! Where did you get those nails did. They on fleek!

[Brenda walks away quietly]

That was close. I don’t know how long I can keep this up.

[Cut to Sprint- One Year Later] [Cut to Donald and a customer]

Aidy: So, basically I can’t text outdoors, which seems pretty bad.

Donald: Ah! Well, that’s not ideal but I think I can probably help.

[Brenda walks in] [Donald starts speaking like Brenda again] And you can start by taking that fake ass weave out of your head!

Aidy: Excuse me?

Donald: Showing up here like you looking like you late for church. Okay? Coz I keep it 100.

[Brenda nods her head to Donald]

Aidy: Okay, what is happening here?

Donald: Woman! I still see you! You gone!

[Aidy leaves] [Cut to Brenda and Donald]

Brenda: Damn, Donald! You’s a crazy bitch.

Donald: I just get angry sometimes, you know?

Brenda: You know what? I feel you. I feel you. But you right here, I need you right here. [showing she needs him to be a little lower] You putting too much two on the 10. You know what I’m saying? I need you to pump your brakes just a little bit, okay?

Donald: Okay, I respect that from my heart. Real talk, good looking.

Brenda: You welcome, boo!

[Brenda leaves] [Cut to Sprint- Five Year Later] [Cut to Donald and a customer]

Donald: [speaking like Brenda] Well, I ain’t gonna sell yo no iPhone 10 coz  you ain’t a 10, honey. You’s a straight up four. Coming in here with your 3G clothes and your 3G purse.

Kate: I just wanna buy a charger.

Donald: You gone!

[Kate leaves]

Brenda: Donald! Can I talk to you for a second?

Donald: Sure enough. What’s up, sugar?

Brenda: Listen, at first I doubted that was your real voice. But, no one fronts for five whole years! So, I promise boo, we good okay? We good now.

Donald: Yeah, you do. I be me.

Brenda: But I actually have a confession to make. This is my real voice. [speaking calmly] This is how I really talk.

Donald: Whaaaat?

Brenda: See, I went to a good college, but when I showed up for my interview, they thought I was straight out of Compton so I just went with, you know, that voice and hid my real one for all these years.

Donald: [speaking in real voice] Oh, my god! Well, this is how I really talk. So, I guess I don’t have to keep pretending like I talk like you.

Brenda: [yelling] Bitch, I knew you was faking. Get your broke ass our of here you fake ass fronting for five years. You go!

Donald: Dammit!

Brenda: Old job at a hut looking white bitch!

[The End]

Childbirth Class

Janelle… Aidy Bryant

Amy… Melissa Villaseñor

Mikey Day

Heather… Ego Nwodim

Donald… Chris Redd

Disa… Heidi Gardner

Magnus… Harry Styles

[Starts with a child birth class. There is a guide and three pregnant couples.]

Janelle: Okay, welcome to child birth class. My name is Janelle. [Cut to Janelle] I’m here as a guide through this very special time. Please feel free to share anything. This safe place.

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Amy: I’ll start. Hi, I’m Amy and honestly, my body feels like a mess. My body feels completely different.

Mikey: Oh, honey, you’re doing great.

[Cut to Heather and Donald]

Heather: Hi, I’m Heather. Lately I don’t recognize myself in the mirror.

Donald: Babe, you look beautiful.

Heather: Donald, don’t.

Donald:

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: And, Disa and Magnus, how are you doing?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Oh, hi. I guess I’m like these women said, I’m feeling, how do you say in English? Cute.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: You said you’re feeling cute?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: Sorry. She learned English on Instagram. She’s been feeling, how you say, sexy as hell, so to say.

Disa: Oh, yeah. Sorry, I said cute when I meant sexy as hell.[Cut to all three couples] My sisters, we are the same. I love you.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: So where are you guys from?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: Iceland. Disa and I just arrived in America on lip syncing visas.

[Cut to all three couples]

Mikey: What are lip syncing visas?

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: You know, the lip syncing. To do an example.

[Disa covers her mouth and sings as Magnus tries to lip sync.]

Disa: I can’t feel my face when I’m with, you but I like it.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Wow. Very talented. Dads, how is the pregnancy going for you guys?

[Cut to all three couples]

Mikey: I’m kind of scared. Will I even be a good dad?

Donald: I feel you. Don’t know if I’m ready for this.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Magnus: For sure, my dudes. The struggle is real. Mostly I’ve been snowboarding every day and watching my wife get hotter. Eating Godiva Truffles and making mega gains at the gym. Ready to father. Ready to raise a genius. Maximum effort. Sky’s the limit on dadding.

[Cut to all three couples]

Donald: Dadding?

Mikey: Yeah. Not where I’m at, at all.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: It sounds like everyone is in different places. Have you been getting exercise? Fresh air?

[Cut to all three couples]

Heather: I used to do yoga four times a week but now just walking up the stairs is hard.

Amy: I’m like, is this even my body? I want to lay down all the time.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Oh, yeah! My girls, I feel you. Lucky I have really easy exercise for pregnant. [Disa stands and shows her exercise] So, have you tried? Have you tried? Have you, have you, have you tried? Have you? Ma, ma, ma, have you tried?

[Cut to all three couples]

Heather: No.

Donald: You could try it.

Heather: Donald, you’re in the danger zone.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Okay, guys. Now, let’s talk intimacy.

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Amy: We don’t have that.

Mikey: Yeah, because you can’t have sex this far along.

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Well, actually—

Amy: No, [Cut to Amy and Mikey] you can’t.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Us too but we find other ways to connect. What is it called? When he, how you say, slide inside?

[Cut to three couples]

Heather: Sex?

Disa: Yes.

Magnus: Our favorite. The sessions are long and wife is very pleased. Have my dudes tried this?

[Disa and Magnus are preparing to show the other couples something] [Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Oh! You don’t to have demonstrate it.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus joining their butts]

Magnus: Have you tried?

Disa: Have you tried?

Magnus: Have you tried, my dudes?

[Cut to Janelle]

Janelle: Okay, you guys. You’ve shared a lot. So, let’s open it up to the rest of the group.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: Ow, ow, it hurts.

Magnus: Do you want to tell her? Tell her.

Disa: Okay. Safe space, right?

[Cut to three couples]

Heather: Until today.

[Cut to Disa and Magnus]

Disa: I’ve been gaining lots of weight in my butt but it’s not like fat. Magnus, what would you say is happening to my butt?

Magnus: Juice. Her butt is becoming very juicy. I like it so much.

Disa: Because what if I have the baby and my butt stops being juicy?

Magnus: Then it will go back to how it was before, like really fit and toned. It was like a little basketball butt.

Disa: But look how I have that butt. I don’t even know. [Cut to three couples. Disa looking at Heather] I never exercise. Ma’am? Afterbirth, what even is my butt?

Magnus: Let’s all exchange contact information so we can keep in informed after the birth.

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Mikey: Informed on what your wife’s butt will be? I’m down.

[Cut to three couples]

Disa: And us girls, too. I want to send you pictures of the babies.

Amy: Wait. You’re having twins?

[Cut to Amy and Mikey]

Disa: Triplets.

Magnus: There’s three of my dudes in there.

[Cut to three couples. Heather is preparing to fight with Disa and Magnus.]

Heather: Now, I’m mad because I’m about to give birth in jail.

[Cheers and applause]